Courtenay Semel

We've learned Courtenay Semel -- heiress to the Yahoo! fortune and former GF of Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson -- was hospitalized this week after someone in her apartment accidentally ignited a mattress. Courtenay was sleeping Saturday when she was awakened by firemen who were banging…

Follow Courtenay Semel's logic here -- Lindsay Lohan should go to Cannes and risk going to jail for skipping her alcohol education classes ... because "Cannes only happens once a year" and jail ain't going nowhere. It almost makes sense. Almost.