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This Week's Biggest Losers 05/26/05

5/26/2007 4:02 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan's mom insists she never told Star Magazine that her nickname is "The White Oprah," a moniker born of her willingness to listen to her friends' problems. And Oprah's dad has denied reports he is writing a tell-all book. But not everyone this week got off so lucky.

Anne HecheAnne Heche
: She does girl-on-girl, she does guy-on-girl. Heck, she can even talk dirty in an alien language if that's your thing. But apparently, none of this was enough to satisfy 34-year-old hubby Coleman "Coley" Laffoon, who Anne claimed has spent a great deal of their marriage surfing the Internet for porn. It's all part of Hollywood's latest nasty divorce battle, with custody of five-year-old son Homer hanging in the balance. The title of Heche's 2001 autobiography is "Call Me Crazy," and that's just what Laffoon has been doing, criticizing her parenting skills in his court filings. Meanwhile, Heche's Christian mom once claimed to have cured her daughter's lesbianism through prayer -- so maybe she can dial up the Big Guy again to ensure Laffoon gets nowhere near the $45,000 a month he is asking from the "Men in Trees" wackadoodle.

Elisabeth HasselbeckElisabeth Hasselbeck: Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Six years after slogging through "Survivor: The Australian Outback," this gal made the mistake of trying to outwit, outplay and outlast Rosie O'Donnell, a fearsome member of the Bloggablogga Tribe. Their big Wednesday blowout over the Iraq war quickly led Ro to pull the plug on her remaining time on Babs Island, which makes Monday's pre-taped episode of "The View" her last. So ... not only did Elisabeth drive away her 'Sheryl-Have-You-Seen-My-Ass?' colleague, she also inspired Rosie's sworn enemy, The Donald, to give O'Donnell a thumbs-up for her anti-war stance. Guess that scuttles any possibility of Trump, as he and we also once suggested, replacing Rosie as the resident loudmouth on "The View."

Brittany Murphy Brittany Murphy: This squeaky-voiced actress has marriage split troubles of an entirely different nature. Just a month after getting hitched to British film director Simon Monjack, word is that she may not have much of a future with him on this side of the pond. After spending nine days in jail because of an expired visa, Monjack is scheduled for a July hearing with US Immigration & Customs Enforcement -- at which point he may well be sent packing. Luckily, the locations chosen for Monjack's next film, "The White Hotel," in which Brittany is slated to star as an opera singer treated in Vienna by Sigmund Freud, are in Italy, Latvia and the Czech Republic. But Brittany might need an escort for the Hollywood premiere.

Joaquin Phoenix, Eva Mendez Joaquin Phoenix, Eva Mendes: This lovely Cannes couple, together on the French Riviera to promote the upcoming New York Russian mob flick, "We Own the Night," were apparently having a little too much fun in the land of the mighty Euro. In an interview broadcast Friday on the UK breakfast show "GMTV," they admitted they were "still drunk" from the obligatory partying. Then, in his best bottomed-out, Man in Black tones, Joaquin muddied the matter further by telling co-host Kate Galloway that he had "slept at 11:30, [gotten] up at 4:30, up at 5:30, up at 6:30 and then finally at 7:30." And these were the parts of the interview that were comprehensible.

Katie Holmes: On the one hand, it's probably a nice break for Mrs. Tom Cruise this weekend to not have to consult lawyers and/or friends/handlers about the latest Scientology brainwash rumor. On the other, it really is still a crappy holiday when a virginal porn star has announced that she plans to adopt the screen name "Katee Holmes" for her cherry-popping debut, "True Diary: I'm a Virgin." This lass' manager, no rookie himself when it comes to the funky name dept. (he bills himself as Shy Love), insisted that his client is "using the name as a tribute to Katie, who has always portrayed innocence in whatever she has done." At least the folks at Shane's World, producers of the film, didn't call the movie "Dawson's Crack."

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Finally exposed - shes a wierdo    

Losers, every single one of them...

2716 days ago

Ricky Rockhardo    

What guy doesn't surf internet porn, shoot.

2716 days ago

beware of big dark HERPE caves    

Katie Homes is ugly

2716 days ago


Poor Katie went into this blind,he wooed her world told her everythinga woman wants to hear ,got her pregnant ,then she was stuck,but with all that she should of researched this scientology stuff before actually marrying tom,now she is really stuck bcause they now have a childand Ido not think she would win getting her daughteraway fro cruise,she is screwed,Ido not think she is happy. I feel for this poor girl. She had a good lifeand now I feel she is in some kind of prison (hell). Ihope I am wrong though,no one should be pushed to live the way they do not to.

2716 days ago


Elisabeth,time to blow this pop stand,you are with child,you do not need stress and tention while you are pregnant,though there are many that want to see you gone, it is not worth the health of you and the baby inside you. You atleast can go out in style,I would hope the producers and the rest of your co hostsgives you a warm send off. Feel for rosie she has some real issues and needs family and friends to get her the help she needs.As I have been hearing she has done alot for the troops and that makes me feel some deep respect for that,the old rosie is in there some where,some day I hope she comes back and makes us laugh again.

2716 days ago


I know alot of people do not like Rosie at least her approval rating is higher than Bush's.My thing is if Miss Liz is so conservative.She needs to take her ass home,and be a stay at home Mommy, bake cookies,and clean the house.I just find it kind of funny hiow she claims to be so conservative,and this June Cleaver mother while Tim is sitting at home playing Mr.Mom.Rosie will come back stronger than ever,and hey at least she made 10 mill for her time there.The View on the other hand has had it's timein the sun 10 years was a good run,and I think they should go off the air with some respect.I do not believe they are going to find anyone able to take Rosie's place unless they bring back Meriadeth.

2716 days ago


WTG TMZ for correctly picking Elisabeth as the big loser this week rather than Rosie.

2716 days ago


Elisabeth didn't even get what Rosie was trying to say. As usual, Liz was just blathering on not making much sense and showed a very nasty side to her. The View needs to get rid of her once and for all. Even though I am liberal, I want conservatives on the show to make it fair. But Liz is just an idiot. Rosie took the high road while Liz threw a bunch of low blows that weren't even pertinent to the conversation. I am done with the View til Liz is gone.

2716 days ago


Whether we agree about the war in Iraq or not, I think Rosie and Elizabeth should
both be ashamed of themselves after their attention seeking publicity stunt --so called mud slinging debate. What a disgrace to our troops and servicemen right before Memorial Day Week-end.

2716 days ago


Annes husband surfs the internet for porn. big deal. i saw in TMZ where Anna says he goes to strip clubs, which is not a crime eithr. i do feel very sorry for her though, over the man taking advantage of her financially. Also when he made a statemnt in a previous TMZ article hat the mediais welcom ein their home (apparenly so he can shoot Anna down in this press) that was too much. The guy sounds like he has no class.

2716 days ago

jProud American Author    

Hmmm. I didn't see Rosies name as a loser? That's interesting.

2716 days ago


Who is the loser here? Someone finally stood up to that bully and what does she do? Trash her dressing room, quit her job and try to become the victim here. Boo hoo hoo!

2716 days ago


What year are we in? Why does it say 2005?

2716 days ago

Lady Hadenough    

Anne Heche was suffering from opportunism, not lesbianism... She's as crazy as a fox. Just watch Steve Martin's film Bowfinger. It shows her true character to a tee.

2716 days ago


Heche is getting exactly what she deserves for being so disgusting and bent. Oh, boo-hoo-hoo!

2716 days ago
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