An online porn payment company is offering a load of advice to wacky Anne Heche's estranged and allegedly whack-happy husband, Coley Lafoon: Stop getting caught with your pants down!
TMZ has obtained a letter sent by PureVanilla.com VP Kevin Blatt, explaining how Coley might address his purported hobby in the future:
Coley Laffoon:
We understand where you are coming from. So you looked at a little porn? What guy doesn't? If your ex Anne Heche was the judge, ANY guy looking at porn could be considered a "porn-addict with compulsive masturbation problems." Well, we know that's not true about you. For innocent guys like yourself, THE CRIME WASN'T LOOKING -- THE CRIME WAS GETTING CAUGHT!!
We are prepared to offer you something that will protect your privacy -- A PureVanilla.com Gold Card. With it you can join a ton of sites without anyone ever finding out -- the website names don't show up on your credit card statements, and the websites never have access to your personal information -- so nobody will find out what you're doing. You are completely anonymous! It's perfect for celebrities who need privacy but want to look at porn (Charlie Sheen, are you listening??) PureVanilla.com is the only company that can offer privacy protection on every transaction you make through us.
So what do you say, Coleman? Wanna look at some more porn (without getting CAUGHT, that is)??
Sincerely,
Kevin Blatt
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Reader Comments
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these people need to get out of town, we are sick of you people having babies and acting like one. whos the parent? the kids act better than parents. wasn't this lady , going to peoples doors, high on drugs, when she broke up with ellen. shes a nut case,(ann0
There is so much good free porn on the web there is really no need to use a credit card anyway
Kevin my friend :-)
You are a MARKETING genius !
This TMZ.com posting should draw thousands to maybe even millions to Purevannilla.com and as we know direct marketing produces results.
You are the man!
This is hysterical cause I actually use this company. They have a good selection of sites to go to on their website.
How degrading and stupid. This guy just wants to make Coley more of an addict.
Gee, the style of writing in "Candy Spelling's" letters is exactly like the style of writing in "Kevin Blatt's" letters. Oh my...I'm just stunned...NOT. Anyone with an IQ higher than 14 could figure out they're written by the same person--aka CandyKevin TMZ staffer.
it's his eyes, his hand, and his genitals .. any woman who considers that "cheating" has major insecurities and/or doesn't know a damned thing about men. what a shame that any man should have to worry about getting "caught" at doing what comes naturally and has proven health benefits. it's past time that everybody just grow up and get a clue.
Go, Coley, Go. !! BTW - Coleman is his full name...and I doubt seriously he's an addict. You'd take Anne's word for that? She swings anywhere she wants.
I totally use PureVanilla.com.
With the Diocese cracking down now, i have to.
Total Privacy for this Pastor.
And, Wait- Isn't Blatt the Dude Behind Virgin Territory?
