TMZ

Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Crouching Britney, Hidden Accident

8/7/2007 2:05 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Hey y'all -- I'm a done with ma gardenin' and just wanted to popwreck over to the vitamin pill store to get some more hair growin' formular! Now what'd I go and do?! How'd that parked car jump up n' hit me in the tire? Goshdarn dang dings! Mah insurance is gonna skyrocker! I think I hafta buy a new dog now. Even littler!

Oh shoot. I done forgot mah Weaveguard! I can see my waffleweave in this here hubscap! Oh lordy! There's mah hoocher too! Oh, well, a girl's gotta breathe. Oh, hell! These wedgies is cuuuuuuute!

I'm exhaustipated, y'all. But I loves purple. Luuvvvvvvvvvvs purple. Huh, is this blue or purples? Mebbe I'll get me two more doggies. Oh hecks. There's the paparoozies. Now I'm gone be on TMZ agin'. I loves me some TMZ! And little dawgies ... they's so cute!

Trashy Britney Spears Gallery

177 COMMENTS

No Avatar
46.

Mommywithalife    

Does TMZ have a new writer? these blurbs have been hilarious and brilliantly written!

2544 days ago
47.

Snarksnarksnark    

This write-up is priceless. I hope that her alleged new handler prints and tapes it to his mirror so that he has a constant reminder of who his client truly is.

2544 days ago
48.

kat    

she did not give birth that way,, she had her kids excised via c-section when they were a few weeks premature - risking their health to might i add- so she would not get stretch marks. whatever her hoochie is enormous anyway.

2544 days ago
49.

Mikey    

WOW - TMZ caught brittney shopping again! how exciting!

2544 days ago
50.

kat    

Just because you have a hick accent does not make you cool. Most "southerners" who refuse to speak English in an understandable manner are just ignorant fools who need speech lessons.

2544 days ago
51.

Lillianne    

X17 has a picture of the back of the dress and not only is it safety-pinned closed with a 1" gap but the skirt is stained and greaxy. They also have the video of where she popped her car door open and dinged the car she just hit. At NO time does she bother to look at the other car.

2544 days ago
52.

gagal    

#27ColinFarrellisHot, being a southern girl I agree with you, but TMZ does this all the time. However, I try to let it roll off my back, that's what classy southern women do, besides this is Hollyweird, need I say more!! Ya'll Come On Down For Some True Southern Hospitality!!!!!

2544 days ago
53.

Wabda H. Nicholas    

Actually, I do not understand why this story was on the Web. Give us history and news. Why I even read it I do not know. Can we not upgrade? There are so many fascinating things in history that could be reported. Please credit your recipients with intelligence and not Brittany type articles. Thank you.

WHN

2544 days ago
54.

ColinFarrelIisHot    

daniel h - you can not avoid getting stretch marks by having a c - section two weeks before your due date. That comment is so ignorant on so many different levels.

2544 days ago
55.

Denise from Chicago    

She's make Jessica Simpson sound like mensa.

p.s. looks like she's got some hanging balls there or is that some labia trying to get away

2544 days ago
56.

Comment    

Man, get some drawers, girl. Doesn't the Wal-Mart you shop in sell any underwear? Put ya drawers on and stop NOT wearing them and getting out of cars one leg at a time and squatting without them. Don't you know the paps are on crotchy patrol with you? You trying to air it out all day. C'mon. You got kids. Grow up already.

2544 days ago
57.

kat    

Yes, I know that but apparently she does not.

2544 days ago
58.

Is there nothing else to talk about?    

Does she think that the more she flashes her crotch the more al BUMS she will sell?????????

2544 days ago
59.

Rock of    

She sis it at the paparazzi's urging you can hear them telling her in the video to look closer. Though that is not an excuse for Brittney's stupidity.

2544 days ago
60.

Tony Marano    

Holy S--T...You people need therapy...;She is no different than most of your pipe jobbin' daughters, except she is still worth 100 million. How do you think you look running around the trailer park wearing tube tops with breasts that look more like cow's udders than breasts . TMZ probably wont post this...They are too busy7 convincing each other of how clever they are .

2544 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web