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Prince Von A-Hole Faces Der Kommissar

4/9/2008 5:22 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

We are LIVE in the courtroom where Prince Von A-Hole's battery trial is about to begin. The Prince, who was repping himself but just hired a lawyer, is being sued for allegedly beating up a paparazzo in 2005.


Photog Dirk Smeten says the faux royal assaulted him as he wheeled Zsa Zsa in to a Beverly Hills hair salon. Smeten is suing him for thousands of Zsa Zsa'a money.

Von A-Hole is scheduled to testify and we're told Zsa Zsa herself is supposed to appear.

Court TV, eat your heart out!

UPDATE 2:51 PM And that's all for today, folks. See you tomorrow at 9:15 AM PST.

UPDATE 2:46 PM There was a criminal investigation filed against A-Hole and when he was asked if he hit the photog - he said, "no." "

UPDATE 2:28 PM
OMG. He's in such trouble. He just testified "She's not so skinny anymore" and that it takes a good amount of time to schlep her out of the car.

UPDATE 2:25 PM HOLY CRAP! HE JUST SAID ZSA ZSA IS 98!

UPDATE 2:24 PM
A-Hole is recounting how he is a doting husband to Zsa Zsa Gabor - who is in a wheelchair and victim of a stroke.

UPDATE 2:20 PM
The plaintiff has rested. Von A-Hole is taking the stand!!!!!!

UPDATE 2:17 PM
Smeten's lawyer has recalled him to the stand, for a little rehab!

UPDATE 2:07 PM BHPD Detective Robert Hernandez is testifying on behalf of the photog.

UPDATE 2:01 PM PST:
Smeten, in addition to being a pap, is a physical therapist with a private practice in Beverly Hills. Von Anhalt's attorney is arguing that Smeten lied when he testified he doesn't really know what treatments he received. HELLO -- HE'S A PHYSICAL THERAPIST!

UPDATE 1:56 PM PST:
Smeten gives the low down on all his medical treatments

UPDATE 1:47 PM PST:
The photog is watching the video of himself getting his ass beat by Von A-Hole.

UPDATE 11:57 AM PST:
Here we go again with more neck pain questions. Meanwhile, Von A-Hole looks like he wants to wring this guy's neck.

UPDATE 11:50 AM PST
: Smeten blames being in shock for the inconsistency of his testimony.

UPDATE 11:48 AM PST:
What a pain in the neck! They lawyer wants to know exactly when the photog first felt pain.

UPDATE 11:44 AM PST:
Smeten testified "He hit me again and again and again. It was so bad I was in a shock."
UPDATE 11:28 AM PST: The lawyer just accused Smeten of telling A-Hole that his wife, Zsa Zsa "looks dead already" when he saw the two out that day. Lawyer also claims Smeten called A-Hole a Nazi and a gigolo. Gigolo - that guy??

UPDATE 11:18 AM PST: Plaintiff Dirk Smeten is on the stand, testifying about how he got his ass kicked by A-Hole.

UPDATE 10:41 AM PST: Judge calls for a 15 minute break. Grab some chips and use the facilities!

UPDATE10:21 AM PST: The doc is getting grilled on the photog having a headache. Courtroom is slipping into a coma. Get on with it already!

UPDATE
10:17 AM PST: The photog's lawyers say Von A-Hole packs a mean punch, to the tune of $16k in Rx bills.

UPDATE 9:07 AM PST : His lawyers just complained about the cameras in the courtroom and the judge D-listed Von A-hole, saying he's had way bigger stars in his court than the Prince!


130 COMMENTS

No Avatar
16.

dana    

where's his wedding ring at ... I don't see it on his hand

2359 days ago
17.

Judge Dredd    

PLEASE MUTE YOUR LIVE STREAMS and let us choose to listen or not. How intrusive!

2359 days ago
18.

duh    

Paps deserve it! Wish I was on the jury so I could give this guy ZERO!

2359 days ago
19.

not a homophobe    

ARE THEY SERVING LUNCH OR WHAT? SOUNDS LIKE A FREAKING CAFETERIA!

2359 days ago
20.

Mad as Hell    

Did he just turn his back to the camera to pick his nose?

2359 days ago
21.

duh    

I just watched the video of the "attack." That Pap should be thrown in jail for filing a fraudulent claim. The guy barely touched him and was only chasing this "photographer" (aka vulture) away because he was trying to take a picture of zsa zsa in her wheelchair being wheeled in for a medical appointment. What a sick person to try to get this photo. And the guy was TOTALLY UNINJURED. He's running away! A million for what?! He should have to pay the Prince's attys' fees.

2359 days ago
22.

me    

I think they only need a few minutes to DISMISS this, that stupid pap deserved it!

2359 days ago
23.

Otis    


Didn't his 15 minutes expire with Anna Nicole?????

2359 days ago
24.

R    

This is great!

2359 days ago
25.

Area 51    

A million dollars? I've seen harder blows landed in a kindergarten fight.

2359 days ago
26.

sharon    

This is great,, I love this guy,, he makes me laugh until i cry,, want an idoit,,,,,

2359 days ago
27.

not a homophobe    

Did a plane just land in the courtroom?

2359 days ago
28.

me    

Are you sure Von-whatshisname's lawyers were protested the video? Cause he is sitting with the two lawyers that said the video was fine with them?

2359 days ago
29.

mari    

Good Luck Prince, How refreshing in these times someone was looking out for their wife. You really are a prince.

2359 days ago
30.

me    

Whats with the sound? The secretarys keystrokes sound like machine guns

2359 days ago
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