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Britney Gets Down on All Fours

5/17/2008 6:50 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Britney Spear's Costa Rican sanity retreat with Captain Apocalypto included a close-to-home activity for the recovering popwreck -- a beachside joyride on a bad ass fourwheeler. Como se dice yee haw, y'all??

Lucky for the paps on the beach, she's a better driver on sand than she is on pavement.


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The Unmasking Avenger    

Oh well. I guess it's the end for tonight.

I hope to find you here again soon, Pocahontas, my love-from-afar.

2352 days ago


Britney Spears is such a great mother and actress. I bet she misses the kids she doesn't even want, so much. RIGHT!

2352 days ago

Mr. Hat    

Good night sweet Avenger, until we meet again.

2352 days ago

just wondering    

Brit looks like she is having a grt time...good for her...sad for the papps hanging around!!...

2352 days ago

captain obvious    


For instance,
I can't believe anybody would let her behind the wheel of anything motorized!!!

2352 days ago

Party 'till you die!    

Narrator: Her career fades. The vision dims. All that remains are memories. I remember a time of chaos. Ruined dreams. This wasted land. But most of all, I remember The Toad Warrior. The sheman we called "Brit". To understand who she was, you have to go back to another time. When the world was powered by the pre-fab pop music. And the desert sprouted great cities of crack pipes and white powdered lines. Gone now, swept away. For reasons long forgotten, one mighty warrior tribe went to war and touched off a blaze which engulfed them all. Without talent, they were nothing. They built a house of straw. The thundering Spears Machine sputtered and stopped. Their leaders talked and talked and talked. But nothing could stem the avalanche. Their world crumbled. The cities exploded. A whirlwind of looting, a firestorm of fear. Men began to feed on the talentless pop stars. On the roads it was a white line nightmare. Only those mobile enough to scavenge, brutal enough to pillage would survive. The gangs of paps took over the highways, ready to wage war for a new headline. And in this maelstrom of decay, ordinary untalented stars were battered and smashed. Shemen like Brit. The drug warrior Brit. In the roar of poor singing, she lost everything. And became a shell of a sheman, a burnt out, desolate sheman, a sheman haunted by the demons of her past, a sheman who wandered out into the wasteland. And it was here, in this blighted place, that she learned to dodge the truth again...

2352 days ago

Party 'till you die!    

'Two days ago, I saw a vehicle that would haul her fat ass. You want to get out of here? You talk to me.'

2352 days ago

it takes a molester    

Britney can go to Mexico, Lousiana and Costa Rica but she had trouble going to court for her kids. RIGHT!

2352 days ago


Man, I want one! At least she's having fun!

2352 days ago


this is freaking sick she is on vacay and you're stalking her. I quit coming to this site for a reason

2352 days ago

Me, myself and I    

Yes, "M", I wonder about her lack of ability to go to court for her kids, too. The only thing I can figure out is that she must have been mentally ill for years, and her immediate family knew this. She also seems to be below average in her mental abilities. I would never downplay her past success as a pop star. She was very successful in her prime.

The problem was that she believed, ( or someone told her), that she really was a super star, and didn't need her "machine" behind her to be successful. We all know now that she really, really needs her "machine" to be successful.

As for her kids, all was well in Britneyland when the Daddy adored Britney above all else. When this proved to be NOT true, then the pieces didn't fit anymore for her. She just can't be a mommy, without the perfect daddy.

2352 days ago

captain obvious    

177. this is freaking sick she is on vacay and you're stalking her. I quit coming to this site for a reason

Geee, if you quit coming to this site, then how do you explain that comment?????

2352 days ago

frogs and gravel    

I quit coming to this site because they were not stalking her enough. Hopefully some
of the paps were wearing scuba gear and got some shots of her Pregnant?/Bloated? stomach.
This is the important stuff in life, not family or career or helping your neighbor.

2352 days ago


I mostly agree, DIANE T, except for the part about Britney's family knowing for years that she was mentally ill. I think it took them a while to realize this, which is why an increasingly severe group of incidents had to occur in her life before they finally stepped in.

I wouldn't doubt that they've long been aware that she wasn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree, but that didn't seem to be much of a problem, given how successful her career has been. Her illness didn't start manifesting in any kind of a serious way until a year or so ago.

Now, when I say "illness", I'm not necessarily saying that I think that Britney is bipolar. That might indeed be the diagnosis, but her problems could also have been induced by drugs, or they could even simply have been what we call a "breakdown" as a result of too much stress. But whatever the nature of Britney's condition might be, it seemed to start getting noticeably worse in 2007.

As for Britney not being able to be a good mom, that seems to have been the case up until now. That amount of responsibility appeared to be too much for her. She indeed seems to need structure in her life, such as a steady, supportive husband or a conservatorship. Whether that continues to be the case as time goes on remains to be seen. It partly depends on the nature of Britney's illness. If she really is suffering from nothing more than the effects of drug abuse or from a breakdown, she might get to a place where she can some day take on full parenting responsibilites. But if her illness is more serious and long term, she might always need some kind of supervision and medication, in which case, it would be dangerous for the children to be under her parental care without someone else also providing structure.

Time will tell.

2351 days ago


You can't hardly describe that 4 wheeler as "bad ass". You must not know anything about ATVs.
Oh, I forgot, where's the seatbelt? Your post about Jamie Lynn and no seatbelt is still cracking me up.

2351 days ago
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