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Suspected Sex Offender Is Luckiest Bastard Alive

1/30/2009 4:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Some dude who is accused of sexually assaulting a 4-year-old girl allegedly tried to kill himself by driving his van off a ledge in Colorado. And it almost worked...


In what has to be one of the craziest twists of fate ever, the perp's van caught a ledge -- and a search and rescue team got to the guy before karma did.

Dude went to the hospital, but as soon as he gets out, cops say he'll be immediately arrested.

Wonder if he can keep the soap from dropping too....

61 COMMENTS

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1.

Muzzy    

Now, I have to ask you religious folks - WHY would God want to save a guy like this, cause I know you'll all say that it's part of his plan.

2010 days ago
2.

Cmor_gan    

Lowest of the low

2010 days ago
3.

Dirk Diggler    

Ahahaha! Guess you're not getting off that easy buddy!

2010 days ago
4.

CherrySizzleNeptune    

Muzzles, I'm not one of the religious folk, but maybe dude was saved cuz Bubba and Knuckles need a new rape-toy.

2010 days ago
5.

Lala    

The guy is going to suffer - the cops, the judge, the inmates, they will all make him pay. I do believe there is a "plan" and we all have to face our actions (even if we are mean little assh*les on a message board that exorcise our demons on others behind a firewall). He was "saved" to face the music

2010 days ago
6.

Philip Thomas    

He is only suspected and has not been found guilty. Put your pitchforks away for now.

2010 days ago
7.

Lala    

Point taken #7 PT, however it is a little like OJ riding down the freeway in the white Bronco (btw, that was very cool Bronco), you didn't know for sure he was guilty, but....hello? Hope the guy is innocent and he is exonnerated - and a little 4 year old was not molested

2010 days ago
8.

Bleep Blop    

A pedophile in a crappy '80's van?!?!? Isn't that a Hollywood cliche?

2010 days ago
9.

Bleep Blop    

Maybe Thelma and Louise did survive afterall...

2010 days ago
10.

justmy2cents    

INNOCENT PEOPLE DO NOT TRY TO KILL THEMSELVES.

2010 days ago
11.

my 3 cents    

Hey Lauren,
Maybe you were busy at Pre-Skool that day, but O.J. did kill them they had evidence that he did the crime. They had experts that explained to a non doctor or lawyer would understand that he was there and that he left proof that he was there. The problem with is Criminal case is that most people were not watching it in whole like I was and the jury was the most stupidest people in America. I don't know if you can find this case online, but if you can you would realize that O.J. was not framed and their was not any other "killers" he is just a real sick man. The end of the trial they were able to get people to think this had to deal with racism. Come on, Please, Give me a break this would never be a good defense in any MURDER TRIAL.

2010 days ago
12.

Elektra    

#10, best comment ever!!!

BTW, he´s so F@*&%$ Up!!!

2010 days ago
13.

Eh???    


First INNOCENT PEOPLE DO TRY TO COMMIT SUICIDE WHEN THEY ARE WRONGLY ACCUSED......yes, they do.

But, that being said, my friend Frank Zappa once said and wrote in a song:

You better do it right the first time, go find a bridge and take a jump, because there is NOTHING worse than a suicide chump!!!! (someone who TRIES and FAILS to kill themselves.)

Do you know someone who TRIED and Failed?....they are the worst chumps and wretches....please take Frank's advice ...go find a bridge and take a jump, because there is nothing worse than a suicide chump.

2010 days ago
14.

Ellie    

Yes, in Rocky Mountain High Colorado.

2010 days ago
15.

kjk(hates american idol auditions)    

i wish his plan would have worked, kill all the child sex offenders .they are SICK!!!!

2010 days ago
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