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Sheen RIPS 'Men' Creator,

AA and Thomas Jefferson

2/24/2011 5:31 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Charlie Sheen just launched a nuclear attack on live radio ... slamming "Two and a Half Men" creator Chuck Lorre -- calling him a turd -- and went on to call Thomas Jefferson a "p***y."

0224_charlie_audio_BN_TMZ

Sheen unloaded while calling in to "The Alex Jones Show" and claimed he is 100% clean, saying, "Here's your first pee test, next one goes in your mouth. No, you won't get high."

During his rant Sheen compared himself to the Marlon Brando character in "Apocalypse Now" -- and hit just about everything and everyone:

-- He calls Lorre a turd, a clown, and says his real name is "Haim Levine"

-- Referring to his rehab stint, Sheen claims to have embarrassed Lorre "in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his un-evolved mind cannot process." 

-- On Alcoholics Anonymous ... Sheen says it's a "bootleg cult" with a success rate of only 5%, while his is 100% and added, "Newsflash .. I am special and I will never be one of you."

-- After one rant the host, Alex Jones, tells Charlie he sounds like Thomas Jefferson. Charlie's response, "I'm not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p***y! But I dare anyone to debate me on things."

-- On his drug and alcohol issues, "I have a disease? Bulls**t! I cured it ... with my mind."

Yesterday Charlie flew to an island near the Bahamas with ex Brooke Mueller, Bree Olson, and Natalie Kenly. In the the interview Charlie says Brooke has bailed out ... saying, "Where there were 4 there are now 3. Goodbye Brooke. Good luck in your travels, you're going to need it. Badly."

There's more ... much more -- including sometime incomprehensible riffs about trolls, tattoos, F-18 fighter pilots, and Vatican assassins. 

For what it's worth ... Charlie also said he's ready to get back to work.

624 COMMENTS

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1.

BroRo    

BLAH BLAH BLAH

1286 days ago
2.

Lori    

Can someone MUZZLE this piece of SH*T already?

1286 days ago
3.

kickaboo    

Hey Charlie. You may be sober and clean but you got "stinkin thinkin". And if you got that, your kids are going to have it too....which leads right back to you know what. Break the cycle.

1286 days ago
4.

pjcthatsme    

Damm people! Cocaine is out of your (urine) system in two days! So you can be sure he hasn't used in two days! 2 Days does not = sobriety!

1286 days ago
5.

Barbara    

Charlie Charlie Charlie...ya really need to shut up !!!

1286 days ago
6.

Lori    

Thought he was busy humping his way though the Bahamas? What's wrong CHUCKLES...bored already?...clean my A$$...this guy is a time bomb and CBS should unload him QUICK.

1286 days ago
7.

Jim in Cali    

wow this is awesome. Go Charlie!!

1286 days ago
8.

christy    

He is INSANE.

1286 days ago
9.

two cents    

All that money! Where is his handler? Keep him off the radio, he's starting to look like fool!
Love you Charlie, but STFU!

1286 days ago
10.

Chrys    

Give a hair follicle!

1286 days ago
11.

KristinaLA    

what the h__? Charlie Sheen is such an immature, narcissistic jerk!! CBS, fire him already!!! Do whatever you have to do, cancel the show!!! I know people are saying he'd die even with the show on the air, but nobody wants to hear from Charlie whether the show is in production or not. He seems intent on self-destruction.

1286 days ago
12.

writenow    

Okay TMZ, you've shown us in great detail Charlie is completely insane. Please don't post any more rants as the man does have a family. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't knock a cripple out of a wheelchair...so please consider his family and please stop. Thank you.

1286 days ago
13.

go home!    

This is the same man who thinks 911 was planned by the USA. He is an idiot and I really dislike him. And as much as I like Martin Sheen, his comment compairing Charlie's addiction to Cancer was insulting. If only everyone with cancer could go to a rehab and be cured with their own will to survive....

1286 days ago
14.

Rome    

AA is lame and a cult Charlies right

1286 days ago
15.

nemesis26    

High as a kite.

1286 days ago
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