Britney Spears has plenty to worry about -- kids in limbo, career in the crapper, terrible hair -- but she's apparently still got room to bitch about having to sit near Victoria Beckham at the Chateau Marmont.

Gatecrasher reports that Brit-Brit showed up at the Chateau last week, but -- horrors! -- the "only table available was the one next to Posh." Britney couldn't deal with sitting next to the arriviste Becks, so she high-tailed it to Il Sole instead.

Meanwhile, Posh isn't exactly ingratiating herself with the celeb-enclave Chateau, says Gatecrasher, bringing the paparazzi to the highly-discreet hotel. "The Chateau Marmont tries to give celebs their privacy, and they hate her there. They like David, though," says a source.

Bobby – Bin Laden and Bush Want My Ass

Famous paranoiac Bobby Brown is still under the impression that Osama Bin Laden and George Bush want him dead.

Brown, according to Rush & Molloy, said recently while on tour in Melbourne, "I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won't happen ... Come on, if anybody [else was] threatened by Al Qaeda, they'd take it seriously." Brown attributes Bin Laden's displeasure to a claim last year that public enemy no. 1 had a thing for Bobby's ex-wife, Whitney Houston. Bobby's ex-lover, Karrine Steffans, now says he also thinks the President wants him offed as well.

Party Favors: Silverman, Leary Bring Laughs to Manhattan ... Mel Sinks Million into "Church" ... Simon Cowell Wants to Make a Movie Remarkably Like "Idol"

Sarah Silverman, Denis Leary and Artie Lange will be invading NYC for the New York Comedy Festival from November 6-11, with Caroline's and Carnegie Hall amongst the funny venues. ... Mel Gibson gave $8 million to his Holy Family Church, reports FOX News, plumping its coffers up to $30 million, even though it isn't officially recognized by the Catholic church. ... Simon Cowell is developing a new movie called "Star Struck," about -- what else -- a singing competition in which ten contestants try to make it to the top.