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This Week's Biggest Losers 10/14/06

10/14/2006 1:05 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

In Hollywood, there's nothing unlucky about Friday the 13th, a film franchise that has grossed more than $200 million. No, far scarier to celebrities than a hockey mask and machete is the combo of poor judgment and lightning fast Internet coverage.

madonnaMadonna: Look, there's nothing wrong with jumping on the Jolie bandwagon. But after adopting a fake British accent and a fake religion, it's a three-cricket-strikes-and-you're-out scenario when you then try to adopt a fake orphan. Turns out the tot picked out by the 48-year-old singer during her visit to the impoverished African nation of Malawi is not an AIDS orphan at all, but rather a boy currently beyond the financial grasp of his father and grandmother. Short of singing the national anthem for her hometown Detroit Tigers while strapped to a crucifix, this is – as the burgeoning op-ed columns attest – one of the more tasteless ways to set the stage for her second children's book, which comes out October 24th.


sienna millerSienna Miller:
Granted, there aren't too many Oscar voters born in Pittsburgh, a city Miller affectionately dubbed "Sh*ttsburgh" in a recent Rolling Stone interview. But there are better ways to start a groundswell of Academy support (Miller has been touted as a possible Best Actress contender for her portrayal of Warhol gal Edie Sedgwick in the upcoming Factory Girl) than to protest being barred entry from a local tavern by exclaiming, "'I am Sienna Miller. I am a famous actress!'" Actually, in this country honey, you're better known for dating Jude Law and James Bond. So remember to carry that ID not just to get into places like Young's Tavern, but to also then settle friendly bets that you aren't just the nanny.

dmxDMX: It was quite a week for our favorite wayward rapper. He got pulled over by the cops in his native Yonkers for another apparent speeding infraction; he took fellow wordsmith Jay Z to task for getting softened up by Beyoncé to the point of wearing flip flops; and the mother of his child slapped him with a defamation suit for claiming in an interview that it was she who raped him in his sleep back in 2003. For the man born Earl Simmons, it is indeed the "Year of the Dog... Again," and with other feathers in his Kangol cap like bailing on a planned USO tour of the Middle East, he might want to adopt a new onstage moniker – DuM aX.

jennifer youngJennifer Young: The daughter of the late Oscar-winning actor Gig Young never got to play the hooker with the heart of gold. Or even just the hooker. Other than a small role in the execrable 1986 sequel Lightning, the White Stallion, her acting talents have been applied mostly to the task of pretending celebrity clients are great in bed. As one of four co-authors of the inevitable follow-up book Hooking Up: You'll Never Make Love In This Town Again Again, which after floating around town comes out officially next week, this 42-year-old real-life Charlie's angel is a vivid reminder that in the Zone, the fine line between casting call and girl on call can be found anytime, gratis, laid out on top of a slab of mirror.

nick nolteNick Nolte: With the admission this week by Mel Gibson that the first thing that went through his mind when being booked for DUI was the importance of not looking like Nolte in his mug shot, we're starting to think there might be a Mysteries of Pittsburgh curse taking shape (that's the movie the actor is currently shooting with the aforementioned Sienna Miller). Just when Nolte's people thought it was safe to browse the Internet, along comes a breakfast show confessional interview that re-caches the gazillion Web footprints of the actor's own, private 9/11 (circa 2002). Forget the two Oscar nominations; forget Vincent the Bear in Over the Hedge. The 65-year-old Nebraska native might as well just order the granite-chiseled epitaph now: 'I may be dead, but I still look better than my mug shot.'
123 COMMENTS

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1.

Tasha    

Madonna 's "adoption" is shallow and superficical. She just wants to be a part of the "I care for the world club" like Angelina. Drop the dad a few bucks so he can take of his kid!!!!!

2909 days ago
2.

chopchop    

What is she wearing?!?! Give it up already!!! Isn't she like 80 years old??!

2909 days ago
3.

Pieta    

I am with Kay.all of your millions Madonna - go adopt a child with no parents instead of snatching one away from his father who cannot afford to raise him.

2909 days ago
4.

the wise old owl    

First of all MADONNA is a publicity whore. She will stop at nothing to gain attention for herself. She is a copy cat wanna be . Trying to be a good will ambassador and follow in the foot steps of Angelina. For someone who is suppose to be so unque and ever changing, she is certainly not showing it here. I , as do many others , realize she has a great body. But does she constantly have to dress like a baton twirler. I 've seen that look before. NEXT.....................

As far as the follow up book " Hooking up...., " You'll never Make Love in this Town Again. " I read the 1st one and it was great. I 've mentioned it on this website before. I am sure the Charlie's Angel they are speaking of is TANYA ROBERTS. She got a lot of parts by exchanging sexual favors and loving every second of it. Her wild ways are well known in Hollywood. She was like a Paris Hilton without the notority. Just a slut looking for parts. I use to see her in private clubs with Cocaine dripping out of her nose constantly.I don't think she ever slept. She must look like HELL now. The only parts she got was from MEN casting directors. That book is going to be some juicey reading.

As far SIenna Miller goes.............she is way too full of herself. I hate celebrties who pull that " DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM CRAP " Have a little class Sienna. Geez....your self importance is not an attractive trait to have. She's riding on Jude's coat tails for all it's worth. Have another line Sienna.........you'll feel better in the morning. We already know how much Jude likes a little coke. Birds of a feather.
Okay, I think I'll fly somewhere else on this website to do a little more Hooting.

2909 days ago
5.

moretocome    

The minute I heard Madonna pipe up with the fake English accent I lost all respect for the former power house. Now she's just kind of pathetic. This makes her look more pathetic.

2909 days ago
6.

Meredith    

Maddona looks like the bomb, she is TOTALLY in shape. Don't talk sh*t about her, because you too will be old one day and I highly doubt you will look as good as her.

2909 days ago
7.

No legs in Texas :(    

To all you mother f***ers dissing Madonna, go f*** yourselves!!!

2909 days ago
8.

maya    

Madonna will be sorry. Bringing a black child into the closed upper crust British system will be very demoralizing as the child gets older. Moreover, she already has two kids of her own and just wait till the kids turn into teenagers! Both Angelina and Madonna will have a three-ring circus on their hands at that time.

Also,adoption should only be reserved for extreme and unusual cases. This idea that the poorer people need to give up their child to a richer couple is WRONG! If someone wants to help, why don't they just give money to the poorer people.

2909 days ago
9.

maya    

#4 Stop insulting Paris Hilton. She is a single girl and her private life is no one's business.

Things change when children enter the picture.

A good mother has the responsibility to take care of her kids before anything else - and that includes not brawling in clubs in the middle of the night or seeking publicity at the kids' expense.

Maybe Madonna and Angelina mean well but they are misguided. Surely, they could find a child who needs parents in England or in the US.

I too am waiting to see those kids hit their teenage years, oh brother!!!!!

2909 days ago
10.

the wise old owl    

Post #4 Dawn : NEWS FLASH ......I am not the only one who has a low opinion of Paris. Dahhhhhh.........reading much lately or what ? Besides I am intitled to my own opinion. As you are to yours. You want to go around singing that whores praises than go ahead. I for one.......find her NEUSEATING and over publicized .

2909 days ago
11.

Eli    

Madonna is a $2 dollar whore!

2909 days ago
12.

moretocome    

MerBear

By the time I'm as old as her she'll be dead or 80. So I'm guessing I'll look better than her.

2909 days ago
13.

TJ    

If Madonna is so concerned about this child why didn't she decide to support the poor father so he could raise his child and not be forced to give him up for adoption to a publicity seeking ego-maniac!

2909 days ago
14.

Sunshine    

Madonna is the next/current Michael Jackson

2909 days ago
15.

shashona    

Madonna is like so 1980'S. She needs to give it up and i'm not talking sex 'cause she already did that with all of hollywood and no telling who else before she was famous.

2909 days ago
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