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Crouching Britney, Hidden Accident

8/7/2007 2:05 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Hey y'all -- I'm a done with ma gardenin' and just wanted to popwreck over to the vitamin pill store to get some more hair growin' formular! Now what'd I go and do?! How'd that parked car jump up n' hit me in the tire? Goshdarn dang dings! Mah insurance is gonna skyrocker! I think I hafta buy a new dog now. Even littler!

Oh shoot. I done forgot mah Weaveguard! I can see my waffleweave in this here hubscap! Oh lordy! There's mah hoocher too! Oh, well, a girl's gotta breathe. Oh, hell! These wedgies is cuuuuuuute!

I'm exhaustipated, y'all. But I loves purple. Luuvvvvvvvvvvs purple. Huh, is this blue or purples? Mebbe I'll get me two more doggies. Oh hecks. There's the paparoozies. Now I'm gone be on TMZ agin'. I loves me some TMZ! And little dawgies ... they's so cute!

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