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Lohan: The Stars Against the Star

9/3/2007 11:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

LohansLindsay Lohan's troubles are not surprising to most, especially not to astrologers who practice the ancient art.

According to Tarot.com, Lohan's "father influence," or her "Michael Factor," occurred when the sun was in the 10th House of Career and Reputation. What does that mean? MiLo wanted LiLo to be famous; and he wanted to be in charge -- (see Simpson sisters). The chart also says papa Lohan was either a hero or a loser (easy choice there), and because of this, Lindsay has a hard time believing she's worth loving. *single tear*

Lindsay's "Dina Factor" shows the important mother/daughter bond was tarnished because of their close friendship. Don't snort, that's spot on! Also, the Moon's strong influence on Jupiter indicates Dina doesn't know how to show LiLo love -- forcing the scarred starlet to fill her empty heart with other stuff -- like booze, drugs and car accidents. Highly inconvenient for shooting schedules.

Hopefully, LiLo will pull through the dark signs -- and get her star back in the Hollywood firmament!

30 COMMENTS

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1.

Marcus    

First but only because everyone else is sleeping in today.

2552 days ago
2.

Ashleigh    

It certainly doesn't take an astrologist to figure that out. This woman is messed up with issues she'll fight for the rest of her life. god help her.

2552 days ago
3.

tired of cry baby    

if they knew this, why did'nt they come out with it 2 years ago?

2552 days ago
4.

who fuggin cares    

lindsay has a chance at becoming a good actor again someday

if people will leave her the eff-you-see-kay alone and let her get sober

just because she asked for it doesn't mean she can handle it now. cut the girl a g-d break.

2552 days ago
5.

The Blog You Love To Hate    

Tarot cards as a source of gossip? Must be Labor Day.

2552 days ago
6.

Wicked    

I blame Dina and Dina alone for Lindsay's problems. What a loser mother she is. She needs to crawl back under that rock from where she was born. POS.

2552 days ago
7.

Nick    

If Lindsay stays in rehab for a long enough time I think she can make people believe she is serious again.

2552 days ago
8.

Ruby    

Okay so, Michael is either a hero or a loser? So he's either good or bad? Wow, way to pinpoint it, TMZ. What the hell is this trivial tarot crap anyway?

2552 days ago
9.

vanessa    

okay wait..... #1 are you serious TMZ? It must be desperatly slow today. #2 Stop assisting this little girl in finding people to blame for her irresponsibiliy and drug use for crying out loud. The Tarot Cards have spoken? WTF!?!?

2552 days ago
10.

blah    

Thanks for the update, Geraldo. News That Matters!

2552 days ago
11.

rachel    


Saaaayyyy, do you see her early untimely death in the near future, by chance?
That'll be cool. ghoulpool.com

2552 days ago
12.

Melissa    

Astrology?!?! Look, if it's a slow news day, it's a slow news day. You don't have to make stuff up just to have something to post on the site and astrology is as made-up as it gets.

2552 days ago
13.

dysfunktion    

Lindsay Lohan is a waste of life! She is nothing but a useless piece of trash. She should just drop off the face of the earth... everyone would be a lot happier.

2552 days ago
14.

BABESBLINGANDBOOZE.BLOGSPOT.COM    

my "brain factor" is telling me i just wasted 33 seconds

2552 days ago
15.

Cynic    

Aw, poor widdle Blohan couldn't help it - it was the stars' fault!

Puhleeze. Other people have messed up charts and still don't turn out to be a waste of skin.

Blohan has only herself to blame. She needs to get the hell off my planet, and take those loser parents with her.

2552 days ago
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