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Parenting Coach to Britney: I'm Not a Potted Plant!

10/23/2007 2:06 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ has learned Britney Spears' parenting coach has submitted her report to the court, and it ain't pretty.

Sources say the two-and-a-half page report says Britney totally ignored the coach -- didn't even acknowledge her presence. The coach says she was unable to teach Britney anything, because Spears didn't want to listen.

The report, which was presented to the court yesterday and will be critical in determining if Spears should regain 50/50 custody, concludes that Britney often ignores her kids and lives in her own little world -- that Britney often disappeared and wasn't around the kids or the coach. We're told the coach has said Brit spends a lot of time on the phone and changing clothes.










And on another note y'all, that BritBrit paparazzo sock is still up for grabs on eBay!

bid on the sock



Why FBI May Have Seized Copperfield's Stuff



David Copperfield is under the FBI microscope, and now TMZ may know why.

Last week, the FBI raided Copperfield's Las Vegas warehouse and seized digital camera equipment and a hard drive to a computer -- this, after a Seattle woman accused Copperfield of sexually assaulting her in the Bahamas.

Sources now tell TMZ Copperfield designed part of his show around "a system for picking up women." During his show, David goes into the audience and chooses women to come on stage. We're told that if David likes a girl, he'll use code words with assistants like "mama" and "secrecy." The assistants mark the women on a map of the inside of the Hollywood Theater at MGM Grand. After the show, the women are brought backstage -- and that's where the profiling begins.

The women are told that David may use them in his show when he comes to their hometown. They are then photographed with a digital camera, asked questions like, "What is your favorite men's cologne?" and "Where do you like to vacation?" We're told one of those vacation spots mentioned by staff is the Bahamas, where the accuser claims she was assaulted. Copperfield owns a cluster of islands in the Bahamas -- which he bought for $50 million.

This may explain the FBI's interest in David's camera system and hard drive. If the accuser is a woman who was brought on stage, the FBI would be interested in a possible M.O.

Copperfield's attorney re-issued his earlier statement in response to this story: "It is important these allegations be put into perspective. An unidentified woman has made serious allegations against David Copperfield. Although authorities have not revealed her identity to us, we know these allegations are false because David Copperfield has never forced himself on anyone."

Anderson Cooper: Armed and Fabulous



CNN golden boy Anderson Cooper is blowin' up -- literally!
Anderson Cooper
The 40-year-old news hottie showed up to a NYC screening of "Planet in Peril" this weekend, looking extra fit and buff. Check out those guns!

360 is not only the name of Coop's program -- it's also what he benches. Lift with the knees, Andy!



Heidi Montag on the Cheap


Heidi Montag: Click to watchUsually, the sight of a bikini-clad sexy blonde writhing around in the wet sand is hot ... somehow, Heidi Montag makes it ... hilarious.

Heidi and her unlovable boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, filmed her new music video last week -- with Spencer as sole cameraman to save money -- and it was appropriately cheesy! Our favorite is the boom box. Nice touch Spence.

Montag did some of her signature spastic Mariah Carey-wannabe hand movements -- while dancing around on a jetty -- a lone fisherman completely ignoring them as they filmed. You'll have to wait your turn to be oblivious.


COMMENTS

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46.

Josie    

And to think......it all started out by winning Star Search and being a Mousekateer. Just a kid who could sing but apparently never learned about REAL LIFE. Let's get real (this is for all REAL JOURNALIST) FORGET THE LOOSERS AND LET'S FOCUS ON WINNERS OUT THERE IN LIFE. CAN YOU FIND ANY? WHERE ARE THE REAL EDITORS AND JOURNALIST IN THIS WORLD? ENOUGH OF ALL THESE PHONY MAGAZINES WHO WANT TO SELL FASHION AND CELEBRITIES. IT IS ALL THE MAGAZINES FAULT AND THE PEOPLE WHO BUY THEM. DON'T GET SUCKED INTO IT ALL. THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO LIFE. THESE ARE FABRICATED PEOPLE AND FABRICATED LIVES. REAL PEOPLE DO NOT LIVE LIKE THAT. IT IS ALL FAKE AND PHONY AND FOR SHOW. IT SELLS MAGAZINES. DO WE REALLY WANT OUR CHILDREN DRESSING LIKE THE FASHIONS THEY TRY TO SELL TODAY? WAKE UP PEOPLE OUT THERE. YOU ARE FALLING INTO THEIR PLAN THAT MAKES THEM ALL RICH WHILE WE SUPPORT THEIR LIFESTYLES BY WATCHING THEIR MAGAZINE SHOWS AND BUYING THEIR FASHION AND CELEBRITY MAGAZINES. IT IS ALL A RACKET. IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP AND GET WITH THE REAL WORLD. GET OFF THE BIG GIANT FABRICATED SOAP OPERA.

2521 days ago
47.

Lisa    

In the real world we cannot just ignore authority figures like a court appointed Parenting coach that aids in deciding if you get to see your kids. Sorry but in the real world no one can do that. That is just life. Brit needs to grow up and mature and realize the world does not about her. That ended the day she had kids. Now Brit is getting a crash course is reality.

2521 days ago
48.

tom Jacobs    

What is more pathetic than Brocolli Spears are these disgusting fans of hers. They will never be good parents, because they are loyal to a slon, like Spears, and not the babies. Americans are really becoming, heartless, corse, baby killers, to me. My child comes first. I cannot stand anyone who hurts children.

2521 days ago
49.

Stacey    

Whatever! I dont care anymore about Brittany. Those poor Boys. = (

2521 days ago
50.

DawnMarieMuse    

Stop giving this stupid twit more attention. Does anyone really want to see this drunken broad online or in the newspapers? Take those filthy socks from eBay and toss them into an incinerator.

Spears is nothing more than trailer trash. Yes .. trailer trash with money is STILL trailer trash.

Get her out of our neighborhoods. She's ruining our little city.

2521 days ago
51.

adrian    

I think the media should leave Britney alone. This has gone too far for too long. What if she really does love her children and she is struggling to get her life in order. She may have even aquired some post partum depression along the way and is still dealing with that. I wish her the best in life, and i pray for her to have some real friends around her who would truly love and help her. Instead of people making a spectacle out of her they should go and help her get back on her feet again. Sometimes when people are struggling in life everyone just stands around and watches them drown. What if it was you and you were struggling with your innerself and no one understood?
there are also both sides to every story. We did not live with Britney and Kevin when they were together. We don't know what kind of guy he really is either. Let the world stop judging, and start helping! May God Bless You Britney! I know you will find strength again and Jesus will help you if you call on his name.

2521 days ago
52.

one2etc    

oh.......................I think i get it now........................negative people feed off this like a fix or something!

2521 days ago
53.

Flake watch    

Someone needs to introduce Buttney to Dr. Kevorkian.

2521 days ago
54.

Honeybee    

Does anybody out there know spelling, punctuation, or proper English usage? I'm more appalled by the contributors' lack of intelligible writing than I am by a pop singer's marital and parental woes. Apparently some people just didn't pay attention in English class.

2521 days ago
55.

Roxy    

Just because someone has fame, fortune and looks does not mean that they cannot be short changed in the common sense department. I think a childhood of fame has left her socially retarded as it does so many famous people.

2521 days ago
56.

leni    

I've always said that it's sad that raising our children is the most important job we'll ever have and we have no training for it. I would have loved having a private parenting coach available when my boys were this age and having the sense I was born with, I was a much better mother than Spears. She is so arrogant that she thinks no one can teach her anything, this young woman with no education knows all there is to know, that's quite a feat

This fight for visitation and custody is ludicrous, she doesn't seem to care one way or another if she has her sons with her. Has anyone ever seen her actually interact with her children? Even as infants they were carried around by the hired help. Maybe that was a good thing as the one time we saw her carry a child she almost dropped him while juggling the child with her ever present beverage container.
KFed couldn't possibly do worse, leave the boys with him and let her make an appearance whenever she wants but for God's sake don't subject young, impressionable children to her uncaring presence.

2521 days ago
57.

lazyj    

This girl needs help can't anyone see that, she is bipolar. All the things she does says so, she don't need parenting skills she needs social skills. Money has gone to her head. She can replace her kids like anything else in her life because she has MONEY!! (thats her way of thinking)

2521 days ago
58.

Topher Lee    

Someone is afraid Britney might commit suicide? IS THAT A BAD THING? If it gets her off the news, maybe it's a good thing! The stupid woman just doesn't get the hint. If she had an ounce of smarts, she'd pack up and leave California forever. No one wants her here and she doesn't belong here. She has no talent and she's a slob. Time to head back to the backwoods of Louisiana. THAT's where you belong, Britney.

2521 days ago
59.

Josie    

oops......i mispelled L O S E R S. PLEASE FORGIVE ME, BUT ALOT OF US ARE AT WORK AND WE ARE TYPING REALLY, REALLY FAST. ANYWAYS....U ALL GET MY DRIFT OUT THERE IN THE WORLD OF TEXTING........RIGHT?

2521 days ago
60.

Diane Jones    

I think it is sad when parents and children are kept from being a family.
That time is so "small" in comparison to all things.
What constitutes the definition of what a family is? Are the children happy and healthy?

The right course of action of course is to stand by her and guide her with love and encouragement and never at the loss of the her or her childrens well being.

2521 days ago
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