Lets Get This Party Started
Lance Can't Keep It Up

Lance Armstrong gives new meaning to soft-pedal.

He might've won the Tour de France 20 gazillion times, but he's hardly an endurance champ in the sack, he tells Men's Journal. "The fact is that if you are riding your bike five, six, seven hours a day, you are not a sex champion. You're just not," he proclaims. "You have fatigue, low testosterone and a lower libido."

Having said all that, Lance also says, "I never got any complaints."

Hayden P. is Missing in Manhattan


And not just Hayden –- but other "Heroes" stars as well.

TMZ has learned that someone's been lifting some of the biggest "Heroes" posters in NYC, all over town. SoHo, Chelsea, and the East Village have been hit, and over 50 posters have been thieved – they're the ones reading "Heroes/Villains" and "Good Will Battle Evil."

Predictably, the Claire Bennet posters have been the most popular and more predictably they're already up on eBay.

Lindsay Only Strips for Sam


Lindsay Lohan could've made a quick $700K to take it all off for Playboy.

But it's no go for LiLo, according to her rep, who tells the New York Post, "If there's nudity, then the answer's no ... She's not going down [that] road again." Lindz did her best Marilyn Monroe impression for New York mag earlier this year. Playboy's creative consultant Hal Lifson says he wanted to do a tribute to Ann-Margret's "Kitten with a Whip" in his spread.

Party Favors: MJ and Vivica O-blige Iman with Biz Advice ... Tiger Getting Treatment in Vegas ... Tea-Time for SamLo


Our spies spotted Mary J. Blige, Vivica Fox, and Chanel Iman (no, not that one) at Phillippe Chow in New York, plying the young model with industry advice all night – and Grant Hill walked in too. ... Daddy-to-be Tiger Woods was spotted, reports Vegas Confidential, getting his knee rehabbed in Sin City, working with Las Vegan Keith Kleven. ... Lindsay Lohan and Sam Ronson were spied drinking matching Bombilla Pure Tea at a Hamptons party last weekend.Next up: matchy-matchy madras pants.

Reader Comments

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1. Finally, I have something over Lance... The guy is an example of the perfect physical machine but having a strong sexual libido at 44 yrs old evens the competition (Okay, maybe just a little).

Posted at 9:56AM on Sep 5th 2008 by The Observer

2. hayden it is hard to see u cry.


i wish i there 2 comfort u, and give a big wet kiss


i love you hayden !!!!!

Posted at 11:51AM on Sep 5th 2008 by lowell

3. Lance did have testicle cancer so I'm sure his libido is low. His might even have to take testosterone injections.

Posted at 11:54AM on Sep 5th 2008 by lynn

4. Ewwwww..."Lindz" did a HORRIBLE impression of the
beautiful Marilyn. Those pictures were so awful, she
should have been embarrassed. Who wants to see more
of those saggy ta-tas anyway? Yuk! She won't be doing
Ann-Margret any favors either. What's the obsession with
recreating these classic beauties' photo shoots with
Lindsay anyway? There are far prettier actresses out
there who would do a way better job!

Posted at 11:56AM on Sep 5th 2008 by LWood

5. Lance doesn't get any complaints - maybe just goodbyes.

Posted at 6:21PM on Sep 5th 2008 by WTF

6. HEY LANCE: IF YOU ARE NOT GETTING ANY COMPLAINTS IN THE BEDROOM, WHY DO YOU SEEM TO CHANGE GIRL FRIENDS AS OFTEN AS I CHANGE MY UNDERS?? AND THAT IS EVERYDAY!!

OR ARE YOU TRYING THE "PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT."? AND THAT IS WHY YOU ARE ALWAYS CHANGING GIRL FRIENDS? TO TEACH YOU NEW TECHNIQUES??

MY PERSONAL OPINION OF YOU IS THAT YOU PROBABLY HAVE A BELT THAT YOU PUNCH HOLES IN EVERY TIME YOU BONK SOMEONE..

YOU MIGHT HAVE WON THE HEARTS OF OUR COUNTRY FOR WINNING THE TOUR SO MANY TIMES BUT FOR ME YOU ARE NOW A LOSER!! GET IN YOUR FLY AND PUT YOUR BRAINS BACK IN YOUR HEAD...

Posted at 7:56PM on Sep 5th 2008 by sweet baby

7. Linsey is a loser................Take another drug you loser...........................................................

Posted at 11:43PM on Sep 6th 2008 by mike