Vick: "Chickens ... Are Very Athletic to Me"

The next time Michael Vick calls you "chicken" -- take it as a compliment ... because dude believes they're "uncanny" thinkers and even more spectacular athletes. Seriously.

Launch docs

PETA just released the handwritten answers Vick gave to a "Developing Empathy" test he took just after he pled guilty to dogfighting charges in 2007 -- and he scored a whopping 73.5 out of 100 ... that's about a "C."

Among the highlights, Vick explains "The Golden Rule" as doing "on to others as u want them to do on to u .... (as long the feeling is mutual)." But that's only the beginning -- check out some unedited highlights:

"People who abuse animals dont [sic] have a heart and find it amusing to see animals suffer."

"Chickens have an uncanny ability to think and are very agile. They are very athletic to me."

"My aunt Tina own a Rotti name Tico. Once my aunt and her boyfriend Wayne was having an intense fight ... [Tico] jump through a glass window & pinned my aunt boyfriend Wayne to the ground just growling ... Now that's loyalty."

After he took the test, PETA balked on an offer to shoot a TV spot with Vick after his lawyers insisted they support his return to the NFL.



Reader Comments

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1. IT'S TIME TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD HERE --

LET'S THROW THIS A$$HOLE BOUND AND BLIND FOLDED IN TO A PEN
OF RABID PITBULLS, MAKING SURE OLE VICK'S GENITALS ARE COVERED
IN BACON GREASE.

THIS LOSER HAS IT COMING.

Posted at 4:38AM on Jan 24th 2009 by hohoho

2. hey,in the 2009 NFL league season...he will B a star again & you'all 4=get all bout them fighting dogg'zz

Posted at 4:41AM on Jan 24th 2009 by tara

3. # 2 tara....you lay off the zzzz babe azz only I write in obamic'z................

Posted at 4:46AM on Jan 24th 2009 by 99centz

4. #1 - I agree, I agree, I agree.

I have a can of bacon grease ready and a waitin'...let's add some meat tenderizer to his dipstick and crown jewels...


Posted at 4:48AM on Jan 24th 2009 by Forrest Gump

5. Watch it Peta!!!!!!!!!! Don't let him fool you, he's probably smart! he knows how to con people into thinking he's changed ok!

Posted at 5:07AM on Jan 24th 2009 by Concerned Animal Lover

6. Im very sorry america,but he will soon b released & the NFL kneed'z A QB real bad and az soon az the cowboy'z sign him,you'all 4-get all about them dogg'zz

Posted at 5:12AM on Jan 24th 2009 by 99centz

7. thank god there's no literacy test required for nfl players, because vick would NOT have passed it; his writing is beyond cringe-worthy.

and i don't know if he's actually realized how disgusting his behavior toward animals was, but he's not even doing a great job of playing the part.... it's all very infantile.

Posted at 5:15AM on Jan 24th 2009 by becca

8. I won't forget and hopefully he's watched carefully if he is a quarterback again. I don't really care if he plays again, my concern is if he learned anything, if he has a conscience or not. He can not have a conscience and make money selling drugs I don't care honestly, as long as he leaves animals alone. That sounds bad but that's just how I feel right now.

Posted at 5:17AM on Jan 24th 2009 by Concerned Animal Lover

9. He didn't spend long enough in jail...or he won't have. Animal cruelty should be as harsh or harsher than with people. Because dogs are innocent. In a way him getting out and playing again will possibly make him more of a target if he does do it again......so maybe if he plays again that will be a good thing? Otherwise he'll have a more low profile life and I think is less likely to get caught doing it. Maybe i'm wrong though.

Posted at 5:24AM on Jan 24th 2009 by Concerned Animal Lover

10. At least when it comes to animal abuse, celebrities don't get off of it. They can get away with DUIs, driving down the wrong way on vicodin (or heroin) on the expressway, doing stupid scientology things that hurt people, you name it, but not animal abuse.

Posted at 5:30AM on Jan 24th 2009 by Concerned Animal Lover

11. yo, americas team will soon sign him and he will win the sooperbowl and you will forgey about jesica and you will forget about those dogs

Posted at 5:36AM on Jan 24th 2009 by too tall jones

12. Mmmmmm, so who really influenced Mr. Vick? I refused to believe that Mr. Vick's behavior (good or bad) was not noted early in his development as a football player. His behavior is no different than noted people we see each and everyday on television. How about George W. Bush the recent former President. Let's see...hmm, how many people died because of his and Vice-President Tricky Dick Cheney's lies. How many sons and daughters were killed on both sides of the battlefield? How many sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, how lost their love ones based upon many LIES! Has anyone publicly stated, "Put some chicken grease upon their gentiles and let the dogs eat them?" I would say if someone did, the government would definitely visit them. I do not like disruptive behavior, or display of barbaric behavior. We all are humans and we all are prone to make mistakes, I have made many. If the President, Vice-President and Michael Vick cannot be redeemed. Then we must asks ourselves several questions. The Holy Bible has several examples of people once deemed murders, liars, thieves, prostitutes and many other vile demeaning behavior and these people later changed.

If that was not the case, then those who believe must discredit everything that was ever written in the Bible. Especially the last couple of books written by Paul because Paul was known as "SAUL" and he committed many murders before he was redeemed. God knows, that I am grateful for Paul's writings.

I will take a wait and see approach for Mr. Vick. The Bible has taught us one important lesson through the words of Jesus. As he state, "Let he without sin cast the first stone." A lot of righteous authors have penned their opinions, I must assume that they are without SIN!

The Professor

Posted at 5:54AM on Jan 24th 2009 by The Professor

13. WHATS IN HIS EVIL MIND NOW COCK FIGHTS ,THROW HIM IN APIT WITH HUNGRY PITBULLS AND LET HIM FIGHT HOW CAN ANYONE EVAN LOOK AT HIM AND NOT THINK OF THOSE POOR DOGS

Posted at 7:50AM on Jan 24th 2009 by jean

14. Looks like he has all the qualifications to be our next president!

Posted at 8:07AM on Jan 24th 2009 by Pippi Von Trapp

15. He's learning one thing in prison...how to bend over on command.

Posted at 8:27AM on Jan 24th 2009 by jonnot

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