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Vick: "Chickens ... Are Very Athletic to Me"

1/26/2009 11:00 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

The next time Michael Vick calls you "chicken" -- take it as a compliment ... because dude believes they're "uncanny" thinkers and even more spectacular athletes. Seriously.

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PETA just released the handwritten answers Vick gave to a "Developing Empathy" test he took just after he pled guilty to dogfighting charges in 2007 -- and he scored a whopping 73.5 out of 100 ... that's about a "C."

Among the highlights, Vick explains "The Golden Rule" as doing "on to others as u want them to do on to u .... (as long the feeling is mutual)." But that's only the beginning -- check out some unedited highlights:

"People who abuse animals dont [sic] have a heart and find it amusing to see animals suffer."

"Chickens have an uncanny ability to think and are very agile. They are very athletic to me."

"My aunt Tina own a Rotti name Tico. Once my aunt and her boyfriend Wayne was having an intense fight ... [Tico] jump through a glass window & pinned my aunt boyfriend Wayne to the ground just growling ... Now that's loyalty."

After he took the test, PETA balked on an offer to shoot a TV spot with Vick after his lawyers insisted they support his return to the NFL.

For more sports stories, check out tmzsports.com!
111 COMMENTS

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1.

henry leed    

IT'S TIME TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD HERE --

LET'S THROW THIS A$$HOLE BOUND AND BLIND FOLDED IN TO A PEN
OF RABID PITBULLS, MAKING SURE OLE VICK'S GENITALS ARE COVERED
IN BACON GREASE.

THIS LOSER HAS IT COMING.

2066 days ago
2.

99centz    

hey,in the 2009 NFL league season...he will B a star again & you'all 4=get all bout them fighting dogg'zz

2066 days ago
3.

99centz    

# 2 tara....you lay off the zzzz babe azz only I write in obamic'z................

2066 days ago
4.

henry leed    

#1 - I agree, I agree, I agree.

I have a can of bacon grease ready and a waitin'...let's add some meat tenderizer to his dipstick and crown jewels...


2066 days ago
5.

STFU TMZ YOU ARE IDIOTS    

Watch it Peta!!!!!!!!!! Don't let him fool you, he's probably smart! he knows how to con people into thinking he's changed ok!

2066 days ago
6.

99centz    

Im very sorry america,but he will soon b released & the NFL kneed'z A QB real bad and az soon az the cowboy'z sign him,you'all 4-get all about them dogg'zz

2066 days ago
7.

becca    

thank god there's no literacy test required for nfl players, because vick would NOT have passed it; his writing is beyond cringe-worthy.

and i don't know if he's actually realized how disgusting his behavior toward animals was, but he's not even doing a great job of playing the part.... it's all very infantile.

2066 days ago
8.

STFU TMZ YOU ARE IDIOTS    

I won't forget and hopefully he's watched carefully if he is a quarterback again. I don't really care if he plays again, my concern is if he learned anything, if he has a conscience or not. He can not have a conscience and make money selling drugs I don't care honestly, as long as he leaves animals alone. That sounds bad but that's just how I feel right now.

2066 days ago
9.

STFU TMZ YOU ARE IDIOTS    

He didn't spend long enough in jail...or he won't have. Animal cruelty should be as harsh or harsher than with people. Because dogs are innocent. In a way him getting out and playing again will possibly make him more of a target if he does do it again......so maybe if he plays again that will be a good thing? Otherwise he'll have a more low profile life and I think is less likely to get caught doing it. Maybe i'm wrong though.

2066 days ago
10.

STFU TMZ YOU ARE IDIOTS    

At least when it comes to animal abuse, celebrities don't get off of it. They can get away with DUIs, driving down the wrong way on vicodin (or heroin) on the expressway, doing stupid scientology things that hurt people, you name it, but not animal abuse.

2066 days ago
11.

99centz    

yo, americas team will soon sign him and he will win the sooperbowl and you will forgey about jesica and you will forget about those dogs

2066 days ago
12.

Bex    

Looks like he has all the qualifications to be our next president!

2066 days ago
13.

jonnot    

He's learning one thing in prison...how to bend over on command.

2066 days ago
14.

3rdSideOfTheStory    

99centz: You are consistently setting your race back 20 years (setblack). STFU.

2066 days ago
15.

Cassie    

LOL- Pippi Von Trapp, I thought the same thing!!! :)
Vick should never play NFL again...He's a disgrace as a human being and he had his chance at what he DID best. Sorry Vick, go scrub some toilets now. Tha's where you belong and you'll learn how to be the best at that with practice!

2066 days ago
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