Michael Lohan MERRY CHRISTMAS From My Second Family ... And Tan Mom ... And ...

12/18/2013 9:53 AM PST

The Lohan family wants to wish you a Merry Christmas this year ... but not Dina, not Lindsay, not Ali or Cody ... just Michael Lohan, his fiancee Kate Major, and their 11-month-old love child.

It's only one of SEVERAL pseudo-celeb Christmas cards we've obtained this year -- including ones from ex-"Baywatch" star Jeremy Jackson and his wife, Justin Bieber's surgically-enhanced lookalike Toby Sheldon, Anthony Weiner's sexting partner Sydney Leathers ... and one especially terrifying card from Tan Mom.

Click through the gallery to see them all. They're fantastic!