Hillary Clinton

Born – October 26, 1947
Chicago, Illinois, U.S.

Former First Lady, Secretary of State, very very tolerant wife.

Was a Republican when she entered college, but changed her views when she saw the plight of the Civil Rights Movement, the pain of the Vietnam War, and possibly the mind-altering music of "The Monkees."

Wrote her senior thesis at Wellesley College on the radical community organizer Saul Alinsky...and...uh...zzz...zzz... sorry, fell asleep for a second.

Married Bill Clinton in 1975 in a ceremony in which he vowed to love, honor and never bone a White House intern. Kidding, but that would have been a good idea.

Became First Lady in 1992, was one of the few presidential wives who cared about more than just updating the White House china.

Won a Grammy Award for “Best Spoken Word Album” in 1997 for the audio recording of her book, "It Takes a Village." Did not win a Latin Grammy for her album of Tejano folk songs.

Stood by Bill Clinton after the Monica Lewinsky scandal, probably withheld sex from around 1998 to 2002 or so.

Became a U.S. Senator in 2000, petitioned to become the democratic party Presidential candidate in 2008, possibly so she could start boning her own White House interns.

Became Secretary of State in 2009, which was a pretty decent consolation prize for losing the presidency. Kind of like taking the hot girl's slightly uglier friend to the prom.

Fun Fact: In 1996, she was called to testify before a grand jury investigating Whitewater, marking the first time a First Lady was asked to do so and...uh...zzz...zzz... sorry, what were we talking about again? Soooo sleepy.