Ahoy and Guten Tag, Toast!

Modern Germans are known for quite a few things; precision automobiles, hearty beer, and an undying love for David Hasselhoff's singing. What they are not known for is their pirates.

That's all about to change with the Totenkopf Skull Toaster, that is, if you can translate the German ad and come up with $42. The toaster will emboss all your delicious breakfast breads with the famous skull and crossbones of the Jolly Roger. Strike fear with toast-branding as you pillage your other breakfast items in the name of a balanced breakfast! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrchtung!