Did R. Kelly Pay to Piss on Possible Fire?

5/9/2008 7:42 AM PDT

Did R. Kelly Pay to Piss on Possible Fire?

With the R. Kelly kiddie-porn trial about to begin, a new bombshell has dropped – an aide for Kells may have paid off a woman for the return of a potentially incriminating tape. Only problem is: the woman in question is still going to testify against him.

The Chicago Sun-Times says that the Atlanta woman was paid by an aide to give back a tape of herself and the alleged victim in a three-way with R. This witness is extremely important to the prosecution because the alleged victim is expected to testify that she isn't the underage girl in another videotape.

The trial starts later this morning.

Mischa –- Pics Smell Cottage Cheesey

Mischa Barton, or her rep anyway, is claiming that those shots – you know the ones – were aggressively Photoshopped and made her look more Babwa than Barton.

Though she was mum when we caught up with her, Mischa's rep Lisa Perkins tells Rush & Molloy that the snaps were "doctored" and though Mischa's "not perfect," the culprit has "given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old." There are definitely hotter 80-year-olds.

Perkins lays the blame on notorious Aussie snapster Jamie Fawcett, whom Barton blamed for taking the topless shots of her. Fawcett has denied any wrongdoing.

Uma and Cosmetics Giant Won't Make Up

Lancome – the big French makeup firm – is suing Uma Thurman back, saying that she can't sue them for using old Lancome ads on Asian web sites and Canadian billboards.

Uma was pissed that Lancome was using her face on their ads long after she stopped being a spokesface. "Look at the huge free benefit Lancome gets from using her," says her lawyer Bert Fields. And she wanted to sue – but Lancome says it didn't "knowingly or intentionally" use Uma's face.

Uma wanted $1 million for Lancome's eff-up.

Party Favors: Nick Hogan's Open Plea: Risky ... Jess Alba's Got a New Way to Punk the Paps ... Marie Osmond Says Billy Ray's to Blame for Miley Mess

As TMZ first reported yesterday, Nick Hogan's throwing himself on the mercy of the court today, a strategy that legal experts are calling unusual and "extremely risky." We'll be there to see what happens. ... We hear that Jessica Alba got a chocolat-colored nursing cover from L.A.'s Bebe Au Lait at her baby shower. Yeah, cute. But she could end up using it for something very dear to her heart indeed – as a shield from the paparazzi. ... Marie Osmond – who knows about being a young starlet – tells People that MIley Cyrus' dad should've known better than to leave MiCy alone on a photo shoot.