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"Dancing" Stars Told: Don't Sh*t on the Tour Bus!

Posted Dec 15th 2006 11:45AM by TMZ Staff

As the "Dancing with the Stars" tour prepares for a cross-country launch, TMZ has learned that stars have been specifically warned about when and where they can drop a #2.

TMZ has obtained a tip sheet "for life on the road," which was handed out to Harry Hamlin, Drew Lachey and Jerry Springer and the rest of the "famous" dancers on the upcoming tour. The sheet warns that stars looking to handle their brown business on the tour buses will be sh*t out of luck! "#1 only! No Paper! No exceptions! EVER!"

The tip sheet also warns that "Dancers" will be "oil spotted" (left behind) if they are running late to a show! Oh, and if the stars want their friends and family in the audience, they're going to have to pay for it -- this is a "no comp tour." Ouch!

TMZ has obtained the script for the tour, which contains a bedroom secret about Cheryl Burke.

During a randy little exchange between Cheryl and Drew Lachey, the boy bander says, "I know everyone's curious. First you took me to the top, then Emmitt. What's your secret, girl?" asked Drew. Cheryl's response, "Well, I just like being on top!" Of course you do.

The "Dancing" tour launches Dec. 19 and tours 38 cities. Looks like this tour will be "the sh*t!"

Tags: dancing with the stars, DancingWithTheStars

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Reader Comments

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1. Huh? If someone does take a s#1& on the tour bus, are they really going to know whose s#1& it is??

Posted at 12:44PM on Dec 15th 2006 by JP

2. Did you really need to tell us this?

Posted at 1:10PM on Dec 15th 2006 by girly

3. Mmmmkay....who dropped a dook in the men's urinal? I don't know, let's call the Hardly Boys.

Posted at 1:58PM on Dec 15th 2006 by Dave

4. I used to be in the rock and roll business. That is a know rule throughout the touring bands. No one shits on the tour bus. You get the driver to pull over.

Posted at 11:17AM on Dec 20th 2006 by Brian

5. Does this mean that she is SCREWING her way to the top?!

Posted at 4:07PM on Dec 15th 2006 by kat

6. Drew Lachey will take a dump in his hand.

Posted at 4:01PM on Dec 15th 2006 by Killian

7. I would think all these huge stars would use their own private buses....

Posted at 5:13PM on Dec 15th 2006 by John Jackstone

8. At least these people have learned from the sins of the Dave Matthews Band tour bus incident.

Posted at 11:25PM on Dec 15th 2006 by Frank

9. NO PAPER??? Do they not remember that women NEED paper after going pee? That is unless I wanna drip dry and have my puss smell like dried piss all day after that..ewwww!

Posted at 7:27PM on Dec 26th 2006 by julie

10. These people sound like a bunch of pigs.

Posted at 2:22PM on Dec 16th 2006 by The Twins

11. This is not news. As Brian said, the number one rule on a tour bus is no crapping or flushing paper. Anyone who has ever toured knows this rule very well.

Posted at 12:57PM on Jan 13th 2007 by Bob

12. Obviously there is only one person here who has ever been on a tour bus (and now two, cause I sure have) - and Julie, you surely wouldn't be welcome - girl, there are ways to tend to your business, you can wipe, you idiot, you just can't put it in the toilet, you put it in the trash can. Cracks me up the way some of y'all think - personal bus or not - you do not sh*t in the pot - many have a plastic bucket for that or yes, if you're sick and/or a big enough player on the scene you get the driver to pull over, this RARELY happens - but life on the road is not any where near what Joe Citizen thinks it is! I've travelled with big name rock bands for years and LOVE IT! Nothing like being on tour!

Posted at 7:05PM on Jan 13th 2007 by Sweet Connie

13. But each star gets their own bus, the pros are the only ones sharing the buses. That list is strict, wow.

Posted at 2:44PM on Jan 22nd 2007 by ST