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"Lost" Diary -- Not in Portland

2/8/2007 1:46 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Daniel from TMZ here, welcome back to the "Lost" Diary. Did you miss me? More importantly, did you miss "Lost?"

Flashback to Tuesday afternoon, 2:00 PM. My co-worker, Evan, asked me, "Do you know what happens in 24 hours?" "No," I said. "It'll be eight hours until 'Lost.'"

"Lost" is back, baby!

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes. I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way.

I'm gathered tonight with Ari (our host), Lauren (the "Lost" Nazi), and Matt (no clever title). Let's roll:

10:00 -- We open with Juliet crying on the beach. Lauren immediately says, "I don't want to see a backstory on this bitch." Nice. Juliet then heads into one of the bunkers, passing Ethan in the hall, to check on a patient (played by Robin Weigert from "Deadwood"). I am guessing she has that strange island illness.



10:02 -- "Are you saying that because you don't think it's going to work, or because you're afraid he'll find out." -- Juliet's sister, Rachel. "He" is probably Henry Gale.

Note: a few "Lost" rules:

1. I always call Ben by his "real" name: Henry Gale. It just sounds cooler.
2. Juliet is evil. Evil, evil, evil.
3. The day after the episode where Charlie dies, party at my house.

10:03 -- Whoa, they're not on the island at all -- it's Miami. I already love this episode.

10:04 -- Back to the present, and Jack is yelling at Kate again. Run!!! Sawyer and Kate hand out a little ass-beating before they leave. Seems only fair.

10:05 -- It's Jack vs. Juliet in the operating room, and she is already acting like the evil woman I know she is. "If you have to, kill them!" she says.

10:07 -- The difference between past Juliet and present Juliet? Past Juliet has terrible hair. And somehow she looks older; like a cross between Bonnie Raitt and Kyra Sedgwick.

10:08 -- Her last name is Burke, she steals drugs, and she used to be married to the bad guy from season one of "24."

10:10 -- Jack just told Mr. Friendly about how Juliet asked him to kill Henry Gale. Nice play. I liked Mr. Friendly better when he had the fake beard.

10:12 -- A gunfight has broken out between the Others and Kate and Sawyer. "Lost" isn't really a gunfight kind of show.

10:13 -- Sawyer just ran out of bullets, which is good. I hate when movies and television shows have guys just firing shots and never having to reload -- that's not realistic. Of course, this show has a black smoke monster, and that's not realistic either. I digress.

10:14 -- Alex saves the day with her trusty slingshot, drawing laughs from the room. Dennis the Menace would be proud.

10:15 -- Henry Gale is awake, barely, and he spoke two very simple sentences, and yet completely freaked the hell out of me. Who's better than Henry Gale? Is it wrong that I am rooting for him?

10:18 -- Whatever Juliet is doing with her sister, her ex is on to it. What is she doing exactly? That is the question.

10:20 -- The fact that Ben is awake seems to have put the fear of God in Juliet. Worth noting.

10:22 -- OK, seriously, Henry Gale is strapped down to a table, in the middle of a spinal surgery and apparently 40 minutes from death, and I am still scared every time he comes on screen. "One gentleman to another," he tells Jack. Ahhhh!!!!! He scares the HELL out of me.

10:23 -- What are Henry and Juliet talking about? Watching them talk, without being able to hear what they are saying, is incredibly creepy. And it's really only this creepy because it's them.

10:24 -- "I'm Tom, by the way." -- Mr. Friendly. Great line. "They've got history," he says. I'd love to know what he means by that.

10:25 -- So Juliet is going to help Sawyer and Kate escape. Should be interesting.

10:28 -- Juliet is being wooed for some kind of job in Portland. And apparently she can impregnate male mice. We all have talents.

10:30 -- Juliet just discovered Alex is helping Sawyer and Kate escape. This might not end well for Alex.

10:31 -- Random celeb cameo alert!!! It's Rob McElhenney from "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" as an Other.

10:32 -- Alex's dad is alive and it's Henry Gale. Wait, I am confused. Danielle was the one who caught Henry Gale in her trap last season. Shouldn't she have recognized him if he's the father of her child? Unless Alex only thinks Henry is her dad.

10:33 -- Sawyer called it the "Wookie Prisoner Trick." Ha!

10:34 -- Poor Karl is undergoing some weird torture. One of the screens read: "God loves you as He loved Jacob." The Others have mentioned a "Jacob" before. Coincidence?

10:40 -- Apparently Juliet got her sister pregnant through some kind of shot. She did tell Jack she was a fertility doctor, so I guess that makes sense.

10:41 -- I'm sorry, what just happened? Did Juliet's ex just get hit by a bus?

10:42 -- And now Jack is about to kill Henry, this time by accident. If Henry dies, so help me God...

10:43 -- Sawyer vs Pickett. Time for the main event.

10:44 -- Or not. Told you, Juliet is evil.

10:47 -- Juliet won't let Alex leave the island. "We both know your father," Juliet says. That line sounded like it could have been pulled straight from "According to Jim." Except on "Lost" it's much creepier.

10:49 -- Kate tells Jack "the fear story" just as Jack saves Henry. Fantastic scene.

10:52 -- The tone of the episode is slowing down so much, you know they are just going to hit you over the head with something crazy very shortly.

10:54 -- Jack is looking down at Henry Gale and tells Juliet that the tumor is gone. Jack wants to know what Henry said to her in that scene from before. Yeah, you and about 16 million people.

10:55 -- It's Ethan again. OH MY GOD!!!! How did I not see this coming??! Juliet said to the Portland guy, "Hey I wish my ex would get hit by a bus" and then HE GOT RUN OVER BY A BUS!!! How could I have missed that????!!!

10:56 -- Juliet just figured it out. And Mr. Alpert knows about Juliet's sister being pregnant.

10:57 -- "Actually, we're not quite in Portland." -- Best. Line. Ever. Welcome to the Hanso Foundation.

10:58 -- So, Ben told Juliet that if she helped him live, Ben would let her go home. Apparently, however bad ass Juliet is, she doesn't have the power to get off the island and doesn't want to be there either.

As always, I like to recap by asking, "What did we learn?" Here we go...

While Henry says he's been on the island his whole life, Juliet has not ... And apparently she wants out ... Alex thinks Henry is her father ... Juliet is afraid of Henry ... Juliet has changed a lot since she got to the island.

When Jack was asking about what Henry said to Juliet, he said, "After all I have been through, you owe me." Lauren quipped, "That's how I feel about the producers of the show." Sums up the opinion of most "Lost" viewers quite well I think.

I don't think tonight's episode was what a lot of people were looking for, but I loved it. I give the episode a solid B -- I enjoyed Juliet's flashbacks, I am glad at least Sawyer and Kate are off the island, and I am really looking forward to Juliet vs. Henry now that he's out of surgery. Plus, Charlie wasn't in it, so that's always good.

And now I leave the rest of the column to you and your comments. I always read them and usually use a few of them to kick off the next week's diary. So here's my question to you this week: If you could have next week's episode answer one "Lost" mystery, which would it be?

See you next week.

98 COMMENTS

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Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
61.

Anne    

I missed LOST and its back. If I could choose a mystery I think it would be the reason for the overlaps of people in the flashbacks, were all of these people meant to be on that plane? was it somehow arranged by Henry, he is utlimately creepy and "Ben" just doesn't have the same edge. Wow I really do put too much thought into this tv show. I just can't help it. I like the new time slot, I get to watch Criminal Minds and Lost now. Finally, Juliet is evil.

2778 days ago
62.

Jamey    

Henry Gale. Isn't that the professor/salesman/wizard in Wizard of Oz? And the actual Henry Gale came to the Island in a balloon. Anyhoo, did anyone watch the Survivors Guide before the show? Something I missed from season 1: The guy in the hatch that Desmond "relieves"- isn't he the same CIA agent that Sayeed meets when he's getting out of Iraq? Just another one of those 6 degree things. Hmmm. As far as questions we would like answered: Remember the polar expedition that picks up the magnetic anomaly towards the end of Season 2? Don't they report it to Desmond's ex? How about the surveillance hatch sending reports in those pneumatic tubes to nowhere. Could someone please send John Locke a screenshot of what he saw on the ceiling when his leg got caught?

2778 days ago
63.

hmmm    

Since Alex was (supposedly) stolen as a baby and Ben has (supposedly) lived on the island his whole life, its entirely possible that Alex just thinks Ben is her dad. I emphasize supposedly because I wouldn't put anything past these people (lost writers and producers) anymore.
I'd be interested in finding out if Danielle knew about the whole second Island thing. It's hard to believe that she's been on "our" island for more than fifteen years and she's never seen the second island.
Hmm, I also saw an inerview with Lost producers and writers where they said that the writers had originally planned to kill Jack off part way through the first season, but the producers "convinced" them that this would be a bad idea. I think the show would have been horrifyingly awesome if that had happened, not that I dislike Jack, just that it would have been crazy if "the leader" was killed off all of a sudden like that. Boone's death really did nothing for me as far as shock and awe, but maybe that's just me.

2778 days ago
64.

hmmm    

glee: that's pretty interesting- that Juliet might have extra-sensory perception. It's been suggested that Walt can make things happen with his mind. MAybe the others are doing something with fertility and ESP (ok, i'mnot gonna follow that one nay farther). But still, at first there was a whole"Walt was looking at a comic book with a polar bear on the cover and then the bear showed up thing" that was explained by The Others having the bear cages, but now I'm like, "how did the bears get to the other island? Can polar bears swim that far or did Walt do it?- realized i followed that farther even though i said i wasn't going to. I totally agree that this show wasn't what i expected at all but was still an awesome episode. For the people who are angry with the show, Yeah it used to be awesome and abstract, then it went hollywood. Either accept that it's hollywood now, and just enjoy it becuase Lost is still one of the better programs on right now, or stop watching if it pisses you off that much to see something once awesome become slightly bastardized. But don't stroke out of a television show. No one should have an aneurism because they "really hate Charlie and want him to die". Charlie isn't real. Don't let him take you down.

2778 days ago
65.

Lizzieb    

I believe that Lost is the best show on television right now. I always look forward to the night that it comes on. I keep wondering though if Jack and Kate are ever going to get together, instead of Kate and Sawyer. This is just my opinon. But I do believe that they would be the better couple on the show. Keep up the great work!!

2776 days ago
66.

dave    

Here's an odd twist I think:

Henry Gale say's on the operating table, after he was told his artery to his kidney had been cut purposely, " I didn't see that one coming"

Sawyer says, on the beach, when he finds out the female boat owner is Henry"s kid, " I didn't see that one coming".

Is Henry Gale, Sawyer's long lost Dad?????

2772 days ago
67.

Debra Kerr    

Lost is a wonderful show Charlie and Kate are my favorite Jack is the best and very cute indeed. I think if Lost went off on Wednesday night;s it would be a shame Lost will be on for a long time i hope. The cast of Lost is wonderful and work well together on and off the show. 4/25/07

2704 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

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