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"Lost" Diary -- Tricia Tanaka Is Dead

3/1/2007 11:45 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Hey, it's Daniel from TMZ here, back with another edition of the "Lost" Diary.

I have come up with the theory that there are four times when I am super-mega excited for an episode of "Lost": a season premiere, a season finale, the week after a great episode and the week after a terrible one. So since last week's ep was such a dud, consider me super-mega excited for this week.

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes. I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way. This week the usual crew of Ari, Lauren and Matt is back together. Let's roll:

10:00 -- Cheech is Lil' Hurley's dad, and apparently, he thinks you can fix cars just by wishing. He's been hanging around Chong too much if you ask me.

10:01 -- Lil' Hurley's dad sneaks him a candy bar. So of all the mysteries of "Lost," is this the episode where we learn why Hurley is fat? Food isn't love, little guy.



10:02 -- Odds Hurley is talking to Libby's grave?

10:03 -- Too easy.

10:04 -- Charlie is shaving on the beach. Gee, I hope he doesn't nick an artery ...

10:05 -- Hurley thinks he might be the reason that Charlie is going to die. Note to self: send Hurley some sausages as a thank you present.

10:06 -- Vincent returns holding an arm, which is holding a rabbit's foot and a key. That doesn't even make the top 20 list of weirdest things that have happened on this show. Hell, that's downright normal.

10:07 -- Did Hurley just find a car?

10:09 -- Tricia Tanaka is reporting on Hurley buying Mr. Cluck's, and the title of this episode is, "Tricia Tanaka Is Dead." Hmmm, I am not liking Tricia's chances here.

10:10 -- Actually, I don't like her chances of coming out of that chicken joint alive.

10:11 -- Poor Tricia, we hardly knew ya.

10:12 -- Hurley just found the van from "Little Miss Sunshine," except it's blue instead of yellow and instead of Greg Kinnear and Alan Arkin inside, it has dead Dharma workers .

10:13 -- Ugh, the new people. Why, J.J.? Why?

10:14 -- No one wants any part of Hurley and his blue van, except for Jin, who can't speak English. Even the stupid new people bailed.

10:15 -- At this point, if Sawyer and Kate are on screen -- and NOT having sex -- Lauren is disappointed. I can only assume she speaks for most women on this one.

10:16 -- Kate wants Sawyer to say he's sorry. Maybe it's just the guy in me, but I have no clue what he has to apologize for.

10:17 -- Kate and Sawyer arrive back at camp, congratulated by tons of people we've never seen before. Touching. Where are Rose and Bernard?

10:20 -- "Tricia Tanaka is dead." -- Hurley. Well said.

10:21 -- Hey dad, where you been the last 17 years? Oh, a fat joke? Thanks for that, pops. Good to see you.

10:22 -- "Dude, I suck at charades. You wanna what?" -- Hurley. Best line I have heard so far by someone who couldn't understand Jin.

10:23 -- "I have a right to know when I'm gonna die." -- Charlie. I have a right to know too, since I have that big party to plan when it happens. Yes, you're all invited -- but it's BYOB.

10:24 -- Alright, don't tell anyone this, but the Sawyer-Hurley-Jin reunion choked me up just a bit.

10:25 -- Ok, Kate is telling Sayid that Jack said he told Sawyer and her not to come back, because he sacrificed himself so they could escape. That's bull. I am telling you: Jack doesn't want them to mess with his "going home" and he doesn't want to face them again because he'll feel guilty. Now is probably the time to tell you I am almost never right with any theory I have about "Lost." Just thought you should know.

10:26 -- How much of this season has been spent watching one person explain something that already happened -- and that we already knew -- to someone else?

10:27 -- Kate is going for help. Rousseau, anyone?

10:30 -- Hurley looks really happy that his dad is home.

10:31 -- When Hurley's mom says "Hugo" like "Hoogo," I kinda giggle a bit every time. New rule: whenever Hurley's mom is around, I will refer to him as Hoogo. Starting ...

10:32 -- Now. Hoogo's mom wants some Cheech lovin'. Good for her.

10:33 -- "What's up with all this recycling?" -- Sawyer. Hmmm, lines like that usually aren't said for no reason.

10:34 -- Take your bets, will the car start? I am going with a resounding no.

10:35 -- The correct answer was "not even close." We would have also excepted "absolutely not." Thanks for playing.

10:36 -- Did Sawyer just "cheers" with that guy's skull?

10:39 -- I hate being awakened in the morning, but being awakened by Cheech would be a welcome change of pace.

10:40 -- Odds the psychic predicts doom and danger in Hurley's future? I am going with hells yes, and done so with terrible over-acting.

10:41 -- The correct answer was darkness and tragedy, mixed in with a stupid curse-removal ritual, which was all fake because Hurley's dad is a scumbag.

10:43 -- "Let's look death in the face and say, 'Whatever, man.'" -- Hurley. William Wallace, he ain't.

10:44 -- Sawyer shouldn't be teaching anyone English.

10:45 -- And Hurley shouldn't try insulting people. Redneck man? Weak.

10:46 -- Ok, seriously -- now "Lost" really has turned into "Little Miss Sunshine." Hurley is Greg Kinnear (the over-positive one), Sawyer is Alan Arkin (the wiseass) and Jin is the son who doesn't speak.

10:50 -- So what are the odds Charlie volunteers to drive the car down the hill? I say yes, followed by some stupid speech about cheating death. Followed by him succeeding and not dying. Followed by me hurling expletives at the TV.

10:51 -- Charlie volunteers to ride shotgun. 0 for 1.

10:52 -- "Victory or death." -- Charlie. Kinda cheesy speech. 1 for 2.

10:53 -- Hurley is closing his eyes and repeating, "There is no curse. You make your own luck." If you were wondering the exact moment this episode lost me, this is it.

10:54 -- Car starts, Charlie doesn't die. 2 for 3.

10:55 -- Sawyer and Jin jump into the car, kinda like they do in "Little Miss Sunshine."

10:56 -- "F&^@_!*$@#^!)&!!@!$!" -- me. 3 for 4.

10:58 -- What the hell was Sayid talking about with the light hitting Mr. Eko's stick and leading them to the Others? Did I black out when that happened? One last prediction: Kate tells Rousseau about Alex.

10:59 -- Too easy.

Okay, so what did we learn this week? Everyone on this show has daddy issues ... Hurley wasn't always fat ... When we're not looking, Sayid and Locke use Eko's Jesus stick as an Others compass.

After last week's debacle, I was looking forward to a return to form. Did I get it? Let's just say I will be typing that sentence again next week. This episode was almost as bad as the week before. But it did give me the gift of Hoogo, so I will give it a D+. Nothing happened, our story didn't move forward, and the flashbacks didn't reveal anything interesting.

But now an even more important issue has been raised; I used to never watch promos for "Lost" -- I either left the room or covered my ears and closed my eyes when they came on. I never want to know anything that is going to happen the following week. But to make myself more educated on all things "Lost," I started watching them.

You know what? They don't tell you s**t. In fact, they lie to you completely. Last week was about the three mysteries. This week was something about "If you don't watch, you won't know what everyone is talking about the next day." Hey ABC, you know what I'm talking about today? How much your promos suck!!!

So here is the question of the week: I am going back to avoiding all commercials and promos like the plague. Are you with me?

See you next week.

132 COMMENTS

No Avatar
46.

jana    

OK, I personally enjoyed the episode...gotta love Shambala!!! I thought it was kinda funny.
Anyway, i agree with one writer who said TOO MANY F'IN COMMERCIALS! It was like every 5 minutes for chrissakes....
Not moving fast enough for me either, let's not drag it out too long or I will have to stop watching..But I just can't, because I have to read Daniel the next day and then where would I be!! LOVE YOUR RECAPS!!! At this point, your recap is the BEST thing about this show!

2757 days ago
47.

What the fck??!?!?!    

I totally dug this episode!!! Sometimes you need a little sunshine shootin out your butt! I was in such a happy go lucky mood when it was over! We don't always need DRAMA!!!

2757 days ago
48.

bobbi    

I loved this ep. It was fun. I am tired you Lost haters. I still love this show, even though there have been some disapoinments. Give them a break guys!

2757 days ago
49.

Jewels    

Loved this episode, except for the appearence of Nikki & Paulo. When are those two going to die???? Anyway, a fun episode. Any episode that features Hurley is a fun episode. Great to be back at the beach and see the rest of the Losties!!! Also great to see Vincent again!

Just like I don't pay any attention to commercials on TV, I don't pay attention to promos of any TV shows including Lost.

2757 days ago
50.

bobbi    

I am still not liking those new people.They so can not act. I say they are out of here. I was very touched by the reunion of Hurley and Sawyer. Where is Rose and Bernard..and where has Vincent been all this time..and how funny was Hurley last night..I love it

2757 days ago
51.

Jim    

If Hurley's name is "Hugo Reyes" why id he called Hurley?

2757 days ago
52.

TC    

Well, I too HATE any "new" survivors to the camp. Get rid of them! Give me a break, I just get so aggrivated when they speak! I too didn't care for this episode, they made it seem like Kate uncovered a huge secret! That was no secret! We've known that Alex was Frenchy's daugther since Claire was returned. Give me a break! What's with all the freakin' commercials!? I can't stand it. Thank you again for another great entry!

2757 days ago
53.

Gio    

I liked the episode last night and I also like reading Daniel's diary after every episode. I think we should look at TV as entertainment and not take it so seriously.

2757 days ago
54.

Gio    

I liked the episode last night and I also like reading Daniel's diary after every episode. I think we should look at TV as entertainment and not take it so seriously.

2757 days ago
55.

Tony Bachlis    

Every episode of Lost involving Hurley was lame and weak. Him winning the lottery and the mental institution with Hurley's imaginary friend were both laughable. This episode made the last two episodes I mentioned earlier look like genius. I hope we don't get another episode involving a Hurley back story for a long time.

2757 days ago
56.

Dawnya    

This is my first time seeing this commentary and I laughed my ass off! I will be reading this every week!

2757 days ago
57.

Kim    

THIS EPISODE WAS AWESOME! I'm usually with you (except for the whole Charlie thing...I like him), but you are soo off-base here. Last night's episode was SO refreshing!

2757 days ago
58.

Brooke    

I liked this episode, Hurley is one of my favorite characters and I thought it was funny. I always watch the promos for the next week, mostly because I just can't help it. But your right, they don't tell you anything and they lie about how exciting it is most of the time.

2757 days ago
59.

Heather    

Ok, so Hoogo's mom was the chick that played Kitty's maid in DHARMA & Greg. Get it? Dharma? I'm stretching, but trying dammit!!!

2757 days ago
60.

Robby Love    

Every show has a season where the producers and writers have just lost (forgive the pun) their way with little to no chance of getting back on track that year. I've become convinced that this season will be little more than filler between seasons 2 and 4. Once the ratings plummet ABC will be forced to re-evaluate the direction that the current team is taking the show. After this season they will have to make some drastic changes or they won't make it past season 4.

2757 days ago
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