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This Week's Biggest Losers 04/07/07

4/7/2007 4:03 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Keith RichardsHere's an idea: why don't porn star Ron Jeremy and talk radio tub Tom Leykis sign each other's racks and call it a day? Until that Arbitron ratings book-buster, here's the lowdown on some other boobs ...

Keith Richards: Given that Johnny Depp has tipped his pirate hat to the rocker for helping inspire the stagger of Captain Jack Sparrow, call this one "Dead Man's Jest." The Rolling Stones guitarist swears he was only kidding when he told the UK's "New Musical Express" (NME) that he once snorted cocaine mixed with some of his dad Bert's ashes. Forget the fact that the journalist who interviewed him, Mark Beaumont and a boatload of fans worldwide are not buying the recant. The real questions now are: a) Can anything Richards does on screen as Jack's father Teague in next month's "At World's End" top this scenario?; and, b) If the Stones do tour again, will Richards be able to get through his signature song, "Before They Make Me Run," and the lyric "Booze and pills and powders, you can choose your medicine" without the lighters turning to laughter?

Don InmusDon Imus: Does the morning radio show host not realize that "Sopranos" tough guy James Gandolfini is Rutgers University's biggest booster and defender? Evidently not. While Imus opined on Thursday's program that the players from NCAA female victors Tennessee were cute "jiggaboos," he deemed the victorious tattooed Rutgers gals to be "nappy headed ho's." Like rocker Richards, Imus-be-an-idiot insisted his comments were only meant to be amusing. And in Imus' temporary insanity defense, it was producer Bernard McGuick who steered the conversation that way with the initial interjection "some hardcore ho's." Despite Imus' subsequent apology, expect to hear about a Howard Stern/Sirius sponsored Rutgers "Ho's" Pageant any day now.

Miles O'Brien, Soledad O'Brien: For starters, even though these two CNN morning show co-hosts are not related, it didn't make it any less creepy with the coffee. Seriously, how much fun would "The Today Show" be if it was hosted by Matt Lauer and Meredith Lauer? Such last name convention concerns are now moot, thanks to a move by the Atlanta network to nudge M.O. and S.O over to, respectively, the investigative and technology-environment beats. CBS is looking more and more like the fools for failing to keep the smooth-talking John Roberts, who will take over "American Morning," along with former Fox News anchor Kiran Chetry. In this new millennium, sort of sexy in the morning isn't good enough; you've got to be really sexy.

Volker Schlöndorff Volker Schlöndorff: Is this yet another example of the German sense of humor? Forget about whether or not actor John Goodman is in the wrong, as Constantine Film's lawsuit claims he is, for walking away from a role in the 2008 drama "Pope Joan." The idea of this soul brother being cast by filmmaker Schlöndorff as Pope Sergius is preposterous, a concept that, if executed, should have leading lady Franke Potente concerned (Run, Franke, Run!). Even Aaron Sorkin, who likes to make Goodman the garrulous guest star in shows like "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" and "The West Wing," must be laughing over this one. And somehow, we don't think the puffs of smoke would be white if Goodman got to tear it up in Vatican City.

Hillary Swank Hilary Swank: It started early, with scathing reviews of "The Reaping" popping up on the film's IMDB bulletin boards. Now the plague has spread to the domain of legit critics, whipping up a storm of bad reviews on RottenTomatoes that is so pervasive, it includes its own biblically proportioned incident. "Maxim" movie critic Pete Hammond, the current favorite of Hollywood studios for top o' the poster rave quotes, actually coughs up a bad review ("What Hath Hollywood Wrought (or should that be ROT)? We GET it. "The end" is coming. Just not soon enough in this case.") Seriously, nothing in Swank's misguided change of pace is nearly as scary as the idea that even he doesn't like it.

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Britney Spears Photos    

What will happen next?

2758 days ago

He's Boring now    

The mere sight of this mongrel makes me cringe. He is a disgrace to everything that is English, White, and Human. I hope he becomes diseased and dies soon. The world does not need him as some kind of role model, or Pirate of the Carribean, Rock Star to be looked up to any longer. Jagger, its over, quit the tour and take this piece of garbage with you and burn him at the stake...than you and Charley and whose ever left of the Strolling Bones can all smoke and snort him unti you all gag together.

Disgusting...All of you Blokes

2758 days ago

Just Ducky    

Hey Keith, is that really your face or did your underware fall down again...... call Howie " If I did it" Stern....., he has a big Black duffel bag that can really put you in touch with your dear daddy. Oh when you get there, say hi to Anna for me sweet cheeks. maybe even sing a few bars fron HEY YOU GET OFF OF MY CLOUD......... Fuggly looking people suck......Love Ducky

2758 days ago


As a loyal Stones fan, this is really not that unusual. They will still perform to sell out crowds and be amazing. Thats the magic of the Stones. If all you guys are so disgusted with Keith who never claimed to be a saint, dont waste your time critisizing him.

2758 days ago


Keef is a "loser"... loser my ass...he's a freakin icon of rock and roll, he's got originality and isn't totally dependent on the what if he made an offhand comment... i see those on your site everytime i visit....personally, i think he's a total rock god and hope he DOES outlive the cockroaches....
and Keef, if you wanna snort your dad, fine by me....just be thankful that you totally freaked the Disney machine out... because Disney DOES suck

2757 days ago

Tipsey McStagger    

Who gives a rats ass what Keith Richards did with his fathers ashes! Keith, you rock! Where is the new CD!

2757 days ago

He's Boring now    

Hey Salome its Passover why are you on here? Aint you supposed to be locked inside eating Kosher and acting kind?

Mother Grundy? You're the goof that brought Religion into it all. It has nothing to do with Religion it has to do with respect and tradition and right and wrong---arent those things part of your Religion or Code of Conduct?

Go to Europe maybe you can catch up with them and tell them in person how proud you are of Keith.

2757 days ago

He's Boring now    

Keith Richards doesnt have a creative bone in his body. He stole every guitar lick he's every played from the Black Bluesmen of Chicago and the Mississippi Delta---than just added some fuzz, feedback and harder strumming to it. Brian Jones was the brains of that outfit before he and Jagger took care of him. You want a conspiracy Rosie, go look at the death of Brian Jones and tell us what you learn, you'll find things you wont in WTC 7.

2757 days ago


Keith, This is why u are truly one off a kind! You do whatever u want to do & thats what makes you stand out from all the rest-man wheather it's true or not , who cares! Your still the Best. No one should judge anyone, cause everyone has there own flaws/issues ect...Our maker is the only one who shall & will judge all in the end, & I think when he meets u he will have a great big Ol smile on his face and tell u how you knew how to shake things up. Thats what makes the world go round these litle imperfections we have to keep each other amused. So, I say "my hats of to ya" Keep doing your thing no-matter what anyone says or thinks! Just always be "YOU"! I hope some one snorts me after Im got your back there Keith, always!!! till the end.
Luv ya mate!! STONES-RULE!!!

2757 days ago


MIles and Soledad I miss you.....who the hell cares if you share the same last name. Politics..You were the best team CNN had. Classy, infomative, entertaining, and good looking. Sexy in the morning??? You've got to be thats why people tune in the news.

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Miles O'Brien started out reporting on technology, then hit the big time by landing the co-hosting gig on "American Morning," and now he's...back to reporting on technology. Um, isn't that a demotion? And a HUGE one? At least Soledad O'Brien can say that she's moving on to doing more in depth and substantive things on CNN Special Investigations Unit. It is, definitely, a big step up for her. But Miles? He got demoted...BIG TIME!!! What a loser!!! (LOL!!!)

2757 days ago


Hey Salome---what does religion have to do with a druggie inhaling his father's ashes? It's disgusting personally, not religiously. You miss the entire point here. And FYI--where does it say people who are religious can't read gossip? We got to church, read TMZ, the whole deal. We can do it all!!! Can you say that? Happy Easter, Salome, and I will pray for you when I go to church today!! Something tells me you could use some prayers!!

2757 days ago


Whether Keith actually did that or not, he opened the door to criticism when he made that statement! Joking or not, that is not cool or funny. However, this statement doesn't take anything away from the music of the Rolling Stones that so many people have enjoyed for years. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, whether anyone agrees with them or not. Even Salome. However, I don't understand why Salome had to bring religion into it, and make negative comments about those who are Christians. Amen to the comments of #20!!!! Salome could use some prayers.

2756 days ago

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