Number 1 Reason Why Paris Won't Be On Letterman ...

yay parissss!1


TEAM PARIS FTWWWW

BOTH OF THESE GIRLS ARE DRUNKEN SLUTS!!!!!

PROBABLY NICOLE WILL END UP IN PRISON ALSO. THEY BOTH NEED TO GROW UP AND START BEING RESPONSIBLE............THEY ARE WAY TOO OLD TO BEHAVE SO BADLY.

I'm all for the BOYCOTT. I love knowing that the success of the Simple Life
is in the hands of the public. We don't watch and it gets cancelled. Yes!

No support for Paris, Hilton hotels and the Simple Life.

Paris honey - we lookin forward to meeting your acquaintance - we will make it as pleasant as we can, but you have to understand that me, Bertha, has never seen such a skinny, white girl before with so much class, I mean I just might get too turned on when you call me the "N" word, I won't be able to control myself. Being the compassionate "white girl" that you are, I'm sure you'll understand!

With your intelligence and having graduated with honors from "Hooked on Phonics", I know you will have patience and understanding with Butch, she is really a good guy, you know sort of like the guys that used to date your girlfriends! Now Butch, had just a boring "mundane" life, until he (whoops I meant to say, she), was diagnosed as being mentally fragile after she took an axe to her Mommy Dearest, ( who had only tried to help her out in court by disrespecting the Judge and Court Officials - we sure hope you bring that autograph your momma was so desperately seeking in court). If you can't bring that, could you bring Butch a copy of that sex tape that made you famous? It would really perk up Butch's spirit if you could show her those moves, you two cold practice together.

Now BOHICA here, she's just downright mean. She'll be one of the first of the guys you get to meet. I think you need to know, she's very tempermental and will do things over over again until she gets it just right. I'll let you in on a little secret - bring Vaseline, lots & lots of Vaseline cause BOHICA is in charge of the full cavity search here, and she is working on getting it just right - if she gets it right, she will have her sentence reduced by
2 years, so she's counting on you to be very cooperative, you're her idol, her American Princess.

Thanks Paris, we can't wait to meet you!

You're new BFF's - we're HOT!

Do any of you really believe Paris will be put in a "general population" type jail setting? That she will be treated just exactly as the no-name not rich people serving jail time? She's probably be in "protective custody" which will entitle her to more privacy, she'll have more money than she can spend for commissary, and do not ever think guards and higher up jail personnel won't give her luxury items from her family to make her stay easier. She may wear some ugly prison garb, but she'll eat like a queen and they won't wake her up for head count every 2 or 3 hours. She won't have a lumpy mattress with no pillow. She may do her time, but she'll do it like a rich girl with influential family.