Somewhere between Lynwood and Las Vegas, Paris Hilton matured -- into a 56-year-old Palm Beach matron! Bring the car around, Jeeves!
The chronologically 26-year-old turned up at the VMAs on Sunday -- in this shellacked, short blond, cover-my-gray 'do -- looking like a Sunshine State news anchor meets Ivana Trump! That's not hot!
Paris has gone from flashing her goods -- to flashing her AARP card!