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Britney and the Chinese Babies: The Inner Dialog

11/27/2007 12:30 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Britney SpearsHey y'all, I knowed I been quiet for a whilers, but I had to set the records straghtenin' right about this Chinese babies story.

Y'see ... I tolded my Guatermalanian maid to get me two orders of Chinese for the babies. Well she don't hear too good, and she says I talk funny, so when she told Alli, she said, "Missy Britney want two Chinese babies." Before I knowed it, Alli found a redoption agency and filled up all them papers in. Coupla weeks later she's showin' me pictures of little Chinese babers and askin' me to choose which two do I want?!

I did not order me up some Chinese chirldrens. Heckers, if I wanted me some more babies I'd find me another K-Fart and make me some! I do not need to go all the way to Japan.


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what ?    

wow .. southerner's are wacked out Cra~zy ! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL !! I thought it was a big joke but nope everyone is right ... they are out of their minds !! Britney is really representing ! GO GURL !! YA'LL MUST BE SO PROUD !

2334 days ago


Scary story if a grain of it is true. Ali orders up papers to adopt kids for Britney on a foreign workers call before even checking with her? I'm either doubtful or very, very scared...

2334 days ago


For some of you TMZ included , it's a shame ignorance isn't painful. Southern doesn't mean stupid. I have heard alot worse yankee accents that really make people sound retarded

2334 days ago

What a stupid idiot, thinking that Chinese people live in Japan. Just as bad as when that moron, Paris Hilton, asked if Tony Blair, The British PM, was like "our president."

God, Britney is so young and her life is a total mess! What happens when she’s over 40, fat and her career goes down the tubes? I shudder to think.

2334 days ago

Dog is a racist mutt!    

Love the fast food pics. Here ass will soon be large enough to block out the sun! At least she can still go the lipo and gastric band option. Too bad she's training her kids about nutrition like she does. I wonder what X-mas dinner will be? Cheebuga! Cheebuga! Fries and 'coke'!

2334 days ago


Good for Brit for getting her eat on

If TMZ is making fun of brit for eating fast food they need to stop!!
At least she eats!

2334 days ago


878 articles about Britney - TMZ, do you think you are harrassing her? Lay off of her for a bit and I would bet that you would see she isn't as freaking stupid as you say she is. Heck, if I had 878 articles written about me ranging from going to the bathroom to recording a hit, I would be crazy!

2334 days ago

Herpes Ho Hilton    

Whether or not anyone writes a satirical piece on BS, she's still nothing but a joke. The ramblings of those defending her, only display how feeble-minded & peculiar they are. Their *arguments* don't hold up. The hypocrisy is rampant, evidenced by shouting terms such as 'hater' -- all the while spewing out their own venom, to anyone who sees the free falling disaster BS has become. Moreover, these retards give political answers, only addressing what the paps, harv, k-fed, etc have done -- conveniently ignoring what BS has contributed to her own mess. The exception, when they actually acknowledge she ran a red light for instance, is to again blame it on the paps.

Um, but u still disregard the times she puts others, INCLUDING HER KIDS, in danger -- via texting & *driving* -- or exhibited irresponsible, self-centered behavior when hitting a car & walking away; both of which ARE ON HER, NO ONE ELSE. Or spreading her legs, wearing short skirts without skivvies, KNOWING CAMERAS ARE ON HER, is simply gross & obscene. How about her turning a confessional into a whore house?!? I suppose somehow this blasphemy is also anyone's fault but her own? And of course the retards never respond to her shopping sprees during the little visitation time, w/ the children left in a car. Clearly, a light fixture (& other material goods, as this wasn't the only instance) are more important to her, than they are.

The convoluted, inane comments of these defenders, to include she's a good, protective mother (LOL!!) , just don't make any sense. Oh, let's not forget their oft repeated reply, of being jealous of Spears. Ahh, the last bastion & resort, when there's no valid answer.
Jealous? Um, NOT. The people who have lost all respect for Spears, are simply seeing reality -- u other tards may want to try that sometime. Please, PLEASE post a ludicrous comeback; some of us have a sense of humor, & could use (another; thx Harv for the giggles) good laugh. Byeeeeeeeeee

2334 days ago


Honestly, this is how you need to report her everyday. I'm sitting up at work laughing my ass off with my boss starin at me. Awesome. Keep up the good work, you guys get me through my boring workdays.

2334 days ago


I just want to know where Brit got the dress in picture number 3- iced coffee. I want it!!!

2334 days ago

Herpes Ho Hilton    

oh my gosh, oh my gosh, that was so freakin' funny! Stupid piece of trash, probably sounds even worse than her usual ignorant hick self, when she's got a wad full of gum in her pie hole. So classy to see video clips of her smackin' away, like the cow she is. Buttney, you are a side show freak, caught by the carnies as you crawled outta the swamp.

I feel sorry for her sons, now and their future selves. Just imagine the trauma come grade school, and the classmates are passing around copies of her stinky kinky. Butt Butt is a negligent parent who should have her tubes tied, and never be allowed to adopt. Do a lobotomy during the operation too, then promptly send her to an insane asylum. Padded room, and straight jacket extra tight, would be good. She's one nasty, dumb HO

2334 days ago

Herpes Ho Hilton    

Twitney, we know you can afford it, but stop with the paid bloggers. They must be getting a lil sumpin sumpin, why else would anyone care or be around? Story of your life.

2334 days ago


WTF???? Is this supposed to be funny? B/C it's NOT!!!! Whoever wrote this needs to grow up!!

2334 days ago


I just hope she stays this stupid. She is my live daily entertainment. Im happy with Brit so long as she doesnt have the boys. They need stability from Shar, but money and fun from Brit.

2334 days ago


If you are going to attempt to copy a dialect, you should really have a grasp on the dialect you are trying to portray. Making up your own dialect to attribute to a person just makes you look like an ass, y'all.

2334 days ago
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