Lohan Hotbot 5000

2/14/2008 3:31 PM PST
The Lohan Hotbot 5000 materialized unnoticed in a crowd of distracted, overworked Fendi event staff. The earlier models (LH2500, LH350) had done their job well, bagging Hollywood elite and fake snowboarders alike -- but now, rid of any physical or chemical imperfections, it was ready to show the world the lay of the land.

The mechanized doll combed the crowd for its Ken-of-the-moment -- knowing too well that if it didn't succeed fast enough, the built-in self-destruct program would reduce it to a pile of expensive clothing, nicotine gum and hair dye.