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Ultimate Douchebag Will Wrestle Again

4/21/2008 1:40 PM PDT
Hold on to your man-panties, because no one's favorite pathetic, homophobic, trash-talking wrestler-turned-conservative unmotivational speaker Ultimate Warrior is returning to the ring.
Ulitmate Warrior
Brian James Hellwig, aka Ultimate Warrior, will tease his hair and come out of retirement on June 25 to faux-fight in something called the NWE. Instead of mouthing off on his blog against celebs like Heath Ledger and Hulk Hogan, the 48-year-old homosapien will fight someone called Orlando Jordan in Barcelona.

Apparently, writhing around with sweaty, half-naked members of the same sex is a hard job to give up!

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