The "Lost" Diary -- He's Our You

3/26/2009 11:44 AM PDT

The "Lost" Diary -- He's Our You

Daniel from TMZ here, welcome back to another edition of the "Lost" Diary.

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes: I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way. You know the rest. Let's roll:

9:02 -- I think this opening little story about a young Sayid killing chickens is supposed to tell me something. Once a killer, always a killer -- perhaps?

9:03 -- Is Little Ben creepy on his own ... or because we know he becomes Big Ben?

9:04 -- Nope, he's creepy allllll on his own. 9:08 -- Some guy is running for his life, presumably from Sayid.

9:09 -- Yup, it was Sayid. R.I.P. random guy.

9:10 -- That hat makes Ben look ridiculous.

9:11 -- Horace and Radzinsky are conducting a little Good Cop/Nerdy Cop with Sayid. Again, the parallels between Sayid being held captive and Ben being held captive back in season 2 are just obvious.

9:12 -- As Juliet and Sawyer have their moment together, even now, days later, I can hear the collective screams of every woman watching. They are probably calling Juliet a four-letter word I cannot repeat.

9:14 -- "A 12-year-old Ben Linus brought me a chicken salad sandwich. How do you think I'm doing?" -- Sayid.

9:15 -- Sawyer wants Sayid to join the Dharma Club, Sayid just wants out. If I were Sayid .... not sure what I'd do.

9:19 -- Hurley is now a chef in Dharmaville. Sounds about right.

9:20 -- Now Ben's dad has entered the picture. He's still a joy to be around.

9:22 -- "I looked." -- Ben

9:23 -- Now that Ben has killed Locke, he's lying to Sayid to try and get him to come back to civilization and kill some people.

9:24 -- I don't know, I think Sayid does like killing. A lot. Doesn't make him a bad guy. It does make him a killer though.

9:25 -- Sawyer is turning Sayid over to the Others version of Sayid. Sawyer is about to tell Sayid, "He's our you." Get it?

9:26 -- "He's our you." -- Sawyer. Sooner that I thought.

9:27 -- Sawyer should have said, "He's our dorky you."

9:32 -- We're back to right before everyone went back to the island and Sayid is flirting with the marshal who will eventually arrest him.

9:33 -- "I like sad men." -- . Really? Who says that?

9:34 -- Sayid's got a whole "Out of Sight" thing going on right now.

9:35 -- "Because I am a bad man." -- Sayid

9:36 -- Wow, Sayid is blabbering like a damn fool. Wouldn't have thought he would crumble so easily. Nerdy Sayid is good.

9:37 -- "You're all going to die, you know?" -- Sayid

9:38 -- Juliet and Kate are talking about Sawyer. Remember that time they wrestled in the rain? Cause I do. Again.

9:40 -- The Others are leaning towards killing Sayid. They are going to put it to a vote. I don't like his chances.

9:41 -- Even Sawyer votes yes. Gotta protect his perfect little Dharma life.

9:46 -- Yup, Sayid is getting his "Out of Sight" on big time.

9:47 -- Wait, I don't remember the movie going like this.

9:48 -- Sayid, still doped up on whatever, seems perfectly content to die.

9:49 -- Sawyer wants to know why everyone came back. But before Kate can say anything, a flaming VW wagon goes trolling through Dharmaville.

9:50 -- It just occurred to me who set the wagon on fire -- Little Ben.

9:51 -- Yup, Little Ben is trying to spring Sayid from Dharma prison -- and Sayid thinks his purpose is to play matchmaker between Ben and the Others. Interesting.

9:57 -- "Are you sure we're going to Guam?" -- Sayid. He can tell what's going on -- and he doesn't like it one bit.

9:58 -- Do you think Ben hired the bounty hunter? Cause I do.

9:59 -- Sayid and Little Ben are running through the forest, out of Dharmaville, when they met up with Jin.

10:00 -- Sayid took out Jin rather easily.

10:01 -- R.I.P. Little Ben. Well, that should have rather curious consequences, don't you think?

I used to judge all episodes of "Lost" by asking this question -- "What did we learn this week?" I recently switched it up to this, "If you were talking to someone who missed this episode, how long would it take you to tell them everything they NEEDED to know going into the next week?"

Let's try it for this episode -- Sayid shot Little Ben.

That's it.

But this does set us up to possibly answer a lingering question of all this time travel stuff -- Can the Losties change history? Or, better yet, are the Losties already part of history and now they're just fulfilling their destiny? (Not likely if Little Ben is really dead)

I have to give this episode a D. Lame, flat, boring, but with a semi-decent ending. I can't say this episode made me angry, but it certainly didn't bring anything to the table.

I wanted to give you guys a quick summary of the "Lost" writers forum I went to last week. I thought it would yield more interesting things, but the "Lost" writers did more joking around than anything. They are all quite funny. Here are some highlights:

-- Edward Kitsis is hysterical. He's a writer/producer for the show and he is just awesome. Apparently certain writers tend to write more of the episodes for certain characters, and Kitsis tends to do the Hurley-centric episodes -- and it shows. I am just BEYOND furious that they are making a sequel to "TRON," but Kitsis is the one writing it, so now I am fine with it.

-- The two biggest punchlines of the night were Nikki & Paulo and the episode where we learn about Jack's tattoos. Actually, Jack's tattoos came up quite often as an example of an episode that sucked. And, of course, Nikki & Paulo jokes drew huge laughter from the crowd.

-- The writers said only four scenes have ever been shot outside of Hawaii. That blew my mind.

-- There was something that Damon Lindelof said that I thought summed up "Lost" perfectly and, to be quite honest, gave me goosebumps. Someone asked the panel if the writers ever wrote themselves into a situation they then realized they couldn't get out of. Damon answered, "Sometimes when we back ourselves into a corner, we just walk up the side of the wall." Wow.

Until Thursday ...