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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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61.

molly    

Candy Spelling is toxic and Tori needs to move on. I think the fact that Candy Spelling invited Chelsea Handler into her home and went on her show, when so much of Chelsea's routine revolves around ridiculing Tori was emotionally abusive. Candy Spelling is missing a sensitivity chip. Her enormous house and outrageously large and expensive condo say a lot about who Candy really is. Candy has a lot of nerve.

1825 days ago
62.

CC    

ITS SAD TO SEE JEWISH FOLKS ACT THIS WAY....VERY SAD...

1825 days ago
63.

Kris    

This story just keeps getting sadder and sadder...

Candy, I had sympathy for you before this open letter on TMZ. I felt that Tori should reach out to you and that her feelings were heartfelt to invite you -- Sadly, now I do believe that you should never see your grandchildren or daughter after this behavior. Sad and despicable! This is your family who you are supposed to LOVE!

1825 days ago
64.

Steve    

Hey Candy! How about a private conversation with your daughter rather than an open letter on TMZ? No one is buying your crap here! Your behavior is pathetic, grow up and deal with this like a woman. I can believe I'm having to say this to a 70 year old woman!!!

1825 days ago
65.

Disturbed    

Dear Candy,
You prove the fact that you are a rotten mother every single time you do this - go to the media to speak with your daughter. QUIT BEING A ROTTEN C**T AND USE A PHONE TO SPEAK WITH HER INSTEAD OF USING THE MEDIA.

Signed, America

1825 days ago
66.

Woo Hoo!!!!    

Dear Candy,

In case you didn't know, 36 is not middle age. You aren't considered middle aged until you are 40, because people are living well into their 80's these days. If 36 is considered middle-aged to you, then you are a dinosaur.

Sincerely,

A TMZ Reader

1825 days ago
67.

CC    

ITS VERY SAD TO SEE JEWS ACT THIS WAY... SO SAD.... I BET "BERNIE" HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS.....

1825 days ago
68.

balls    

balls

1825 days ago
69.

Erin You know it    

Tori,

I have never written a comment about anything on this site...but after reading that....

You are a DOLL. I adore you and your family. It reminds me so much of my own.. I am a mom with a Great husband..who is awesome and sweet...and we have 3 great kids! And I love throwing parties...working..taking care of the Family..etc..

So Anyway...From 1 DECENT person to another....

Don't worry about the media girfriend. Real people look at this situation and are sad for it. We all have family members who do things that arn't of the soundest mind...and this is one of them..

You have to do what is right by YOUR family. And that is keeping them safe from hurt and confusion from another person..even if it is your Mother. She is not your #1. God..Hubby..and then Kids. Just remember that.

If I were you..I would ignore it..thats slaying the beast. Be the bigger and better woman...( And not middle aged) You are not a relfection of the mistakes she has made..You are your own woman and a good one at that..and a great momma.

Hold your head up girl...and to the Haters out there..Look back at yourself...Losers. People who talk about other people suck..and deserve gum in their hair..bullies. Reminds me of mean kids on the bus in Grade school....Grow up and get a life.

-E

1825 days ago
70.

Breezy    

Mrs.Spelling has a great point about how Tori & Dean are using their children as props. However, she is an idiot for not taking advantage of any opportunity to see her grandchildren and a hypocrite for using her birthday as an opportunity to make a public statement. These women should be ashamed. Where the heck is Dean? Getting another Tori tattoo? Why doesn't he step up? Oh, wait, he snuck around on his pregnant wife to hook up with Tori, so his character is tattered and tarnished.

1825 days ago
71.

Womanizer    

A mother (Candy Spelling) constantly rips her daughter publicly and you all have the nerves to bad mouth Joe Jackson!!!! He's always spoken positively about Michael.

1825 days ago
72.

Gram 23    

This happens even if you are not rich and on TV. The Pain keeps you both apart and if you wait to long time runs out and the pain will be unbearable . I pray for you both not to wait to long forgive each other there has to be something in each of you that the other loves and can forgive because of that love. Dont let the pain stop you get together alone not in front of millions who will trash both of you please please work it out for yoursakes and for your grandchildrens and children of torisakes . hugs Gram23

1825 days ago
73.

Lisa    

"For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later." Candy Spelling

My final post - This is the last thing you wrote to your daughter, above. Those very words you just publicly wrote have just flown right back into your face, Candy dearest. Take your own words and apply them to yourself first before demanding and expecting it of others. And if the reality of this still doesn't sink into that rock-hard, apparently empty head of yours, may I suggest you then seek the advice of a well-known, respected and ridiculously expensive psychologist for yourself before giving this kind of advice ever again.

Lisa, a no-name from Canada



1825 days ago
74.

Truth    

To all you dumb people talking about the inheritance thing...If mom and dad are married.. when dad dies the money goes to mom!!! Get it!!

1825 days ago
75.

Quiet    

Why does cand need all of that money from her husbands estate. Like gee didnt candy and aron have any other children besides tori? It really wouldnt surprise me if candy does leae it all to charity and not tori. I would think any mother would give their child some of the childs father when he's passed on. just sad. maybe candy will realize how short life is soon.

1825 days ago
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