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Candy to Tori:

Get Real, Baby

7/27/2009 1:15 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Candy & Tori SpellingCandy Spelling -- the mother famously at war with her daughter -- has taken the bold step of communicating with Tori Spelling through TMZ ... and her opening line isn't gonna get her a lot of invites. Here's the open letter in all its glory:

EXCLUSIVE TO: TMZ.COM
TO: MIDDLE-AGED REALITY SHOW STARS (LIKE MY DAUGHTER)
FROM: CANDY SPELLING

I Know many middle-aged people have issues about their parents and their upbringing. I did. My memories didn't match all those of my mother, and, funny thing, it's the same way with my daughter.

Life has consequences. What you say is on the record. Other people have feelings.


I have a vested interest in this subject. My daughter, Tori's, two-part season finale revolves around my granddaughter's first birthday party and how she has made what seems like an agonizing decision to invite me.

Cue music. Cue sideways glances. Cue Lights.

I did get an invitation just in time for the RSVP deadline. I'm sure its delivery will be on next week's episode with some comment about my house or driveway or street or something they won't like. I wonder if that will be spread out over one part or two. Sigh.

A big party wasn't how I envisioned meeting my granddaughter for the first time; but, hey, this is Hollywood, and my grandchildren have become reality show props, too. At the time I emailed "yes," I didn't realize I was being set up for a two-parter, even though it was clear I was being invited to be part of a segment for my daughter's reality show.

Spoiler alert. Don't read this if you plan to sit through an hour of people looking at their watches and saying "she's late." I decided my first meeting with my granddaughter should be on home video, not primetime cable; so I emailed that I would not be attending.

Back to other reality stars. My husband taught me that the plots have to be fresh and updated. The same old whining gets tired after a while. Enough complaining about what may or may not have happened during first grade or YMCA camp, or what vegetable you were forced to endure, especially when you are privileged enough to be on TV and get paid for it.

For all the reality show personalities, please remember that real life doesn't get edited to make things better or worse or get better ratings. You're responsible for what you do. Life isn't just a show. And your families can't just be props. Make your own season finale without creating conflicts you will regret later.
1285 COMMENTS

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1261.

cadence    

WOW CANDY SPELLING SHOULD REALLY GET THE STICK OUT OF HER ASS!!!! I CANNOT BELEIVE THE NERVE OF SOME PPL. IF SHE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING THAT IS NOT PUBLIC AND LET THEIR RELATIONSHIP BE PRIVATE THAN WHY IS SHE POSTING THESE THINGS ONLINE:" TRYIN TO SELL BOOKS...SORRY SWEETY U WILL NEVER OUTSELL UR DAUGHTER SHE HAS SOMETHING INTRIGUING TO ACTUALLY READ ABOUT. TORI I GIVE U PROPS FOR HOW STRONG U ARE AND HOLDING YOU HEAD UP HIGH IN THIS KIND OF SITUATION ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE ARE CHILDREN INVOLVED. U HAVE A WONDERFUL FAMILY AND UR MOTHER IS ONLY MISSING OUT NOT ONLY ON YOUR CHILDREN BUT ON THE PERSON THAT YOU HAVE BECOME. LOVES IT!!!!

1837 days ago
1262.

lordhavemercy    

The Elder is supposed to have a greater measure of wisdom...however, it is sadly lacking. I don't believe Tori has "whored" anyone...this is the age we live in...it's also what Tori was RAISED in. So...an attempt at a reconciliation in a public setting...is fitting. Candy is a "right-fighter"...she's got an opinion and she's gonna stand by it...to her grave...however, wisdom says...love should win out. Tori held out the proverbial olive branch....it wasn't done according to "candy's way"...so once, again...she takes control....and witholds affection...love...attention. Obviously this has been a long-standing pattern for Candy...her method of manipulating her children... I feel sorry for Tori...because she's going to keep trying to please a mama...that there just "ain't no pleasing".... Candy...grow up....shut up....and just love....WITHOUT ALL THE CONDITIONS. This has been going on all through your life. Aren't you tired of all the pain you bring upon yourself????

1837 days ago
1263.

Black Pearl    

Grandma needs to grow some...1. It's Grandma fault if she didn't get to see her granddaughter for the first time at her first b-day party (REALLY GUYS, WHO DOES THAT) AND 2. If Grandma really wanted to see your grandchildren, no way she would have missed that opportunity to see them and stop acting like a three-year old. My goodness you are family!!!! Do it really matter if the camera is rolling or not!!! I blame Candy for all this foolishness. If it was me, I would have went to the party, kiss my child and kiss my grandkids and forget the rest of this mess. Life is too damn short!!! Candy you are missing all the wonderful things your grandkids are doing right now for what???? PRIDE??? I hope it's worth it.

1836 days ago
1264.

TequilaSunrise64    

Candy is a real piece of "work"...She is everything that is wrong with Hollywood...a "has been" before she ever was...Her jealousy of her daughter is beyond obvious & absolutely disgusting...When children turn on their parents, there's a reason...when parents turn on their chiildren, there is NO EXCUSE...Tori is a constant reminder to Candy of everything she will never be...Candy is a nothing and a nobody who just happened to marry someone famous...Tori is an amazing person, and a wonderful mother IN SPITE of the lack of ability of her mother to actually be one...As for children reaching "middle age" ( a cheap shot ffrom an even cheaper "woman") and realizing their parents are a joke is a testament to the children for holding out hope into middle age that their parents will actually get a clue..Hey Candy; all that ugly you're carrying around on the inside is DEFINITELY showing on the outside...Time to go get some more plastic while the daughter you should be so proud of manages to keep it real...You've become exactly what you deserve to become, a bitter old woman..All that money won't ever buy you a clue...

1836 days ago
1265.

Karen Bliss    

Hey, Candy, get your head out of your butt! You have one daughter and one son. What is wrong with you???? Whatever this is all about, and both of you probably don't even remember, it's not worth it. I watch Tori's show every week just so I can see those beautiful kids and I'm not even related to them! They need their grandma or are you too good to be called that? Whatever the reason is, and personally there shouldn't even be a reason, you need to get over yourself and your huge ego and go to Tori's house, apologize for whatever, and give those precious little angels a big hug from their grandma!!! I don't know if Dean's mother is still alive but if she's not, I can't even express what I think of you right now. If you are their only grandmother, SHAME ON YOU! Either way, SHAME ON YOU! I don't know Tori either and I'm sure both of you have made mistakes with each other but please, don't take it out on those sweet and innocent children. They need their mother but they also need their grandmother. I don't know how you go to sleep at night knowing you haven't even met Stella! That just really boggles my mind. Please, before it's too late, and you know as well as anybody else, no one know when it's their time, go to those kids and hold them both tightly from you and from Aaron. He would be very proud of you if you did that. Tori talks about you on the show and I can tell she really misses you whether you believe that or not. Dean, on the other hand, isn't sure if he wants you in their lives, but he is only protecting his family from any more heartache and you can't blame him for that. That's what makes a good husband and daddy. Aaron seemed like a wonderful husband and dad. For some reason, he left you everything and that's no one's business but his and yours, but I don't think he expected all this fighting to occur after his death. I'm not one to judge because Lord knows I've done my fair share of stupid things, but just look at those two beautiful babies that are a part of you! Without you, they wouldn't even be here. Please, please, reach out to your daughter, no matter what you think she has done, and start all over. You can always start over, but only if everyone involved is still alive! I know, with all my heart, that if you were to go to Tori and Dean's house right now, without cameras, Tori would be thrilled that you came, even if it was just to see the grandkids. I really, really hope you at least think about what I'm saying. I just wish there was more I could do to get your family back together. Kids grow up really fast as you well know. And believe it or not, I think you were a good mother. At least from what I've heard from Tori on her show, she seems to think she had a great childhood and that childhood did include you! Please allow her children to have a great grandmother! Don't do it for Tori or anyone else, just do it for Liam and Stella. They will be thrilled to know their grandmother really did caer about them when they look back years from now.

Thanks for listening Candy, and I really hope you think about what I said. "Grandma Candy" has a beautiful ring to it, don't you think??

Your friend and Tori's,

Karen Bliss

1836 days ago
1266.

Grandma Lisa Malia    

As a proud Mom and Grandma.....and a fan of Tori and Dean's show.....Candy is a witch, to put it politely. In addition, she's doesn't even deserve the HONOR of being called either of those precious names....Mom and Grandma.
I hope she lives alone with all her precious possessions......and Tori cuts her off. She's the reason Tori didn't see her dad in those months before he passed. SHAME ON HER FOR BEING SUCH A SELFISH, UNCARING, HYPOCRITICAL person.

1836 days ago
1267.

Jacye    

I;m sorry, most of the time I would agree with everyone about what is going on with candy and tory, but since watching her show, I have a little bit more respect for her. She did not let the fact that her father did not leave her a lot of money, she went out and did someone like work instead. I have a lot of respect for someone like that. And the way she is with her kids on TV is not a lot of bull. Candy, you need to grow up. If you really cared you would not worry about what the public thinks, and go see your grandchildren. You have never seen you granddaughter and you should be ashamed. Family is first always.

1836 days ago
1268.

Eileen    

Wow. nice Mom.....Im a Mom of a thirty six year old two...I think she's in her prime not "middle aged". You sound really jealous in spite of all the clothes, face lifts and money..how sad.

1836 days ago
1269.

TORI SUPPORTER    

I COMPLETLY SUPPORT TORI ON THIS ONE. CANDY IS USING HER DAUGHTER AS A PROP BY WRITTING AN OPEN LETTER TO HER DAUGHTER TO TMZ. WHAT IS WRONG CANDY CAN'T AFFORD AN ENVELOPE OR A STAMP? MAYBE IF YOU WOULD BE THE BIGGER PERSON, HELLO YOU ARE THE MOTHER, AND PRAISE YOUR DAUGHTER ONCE IN A WHILE INSTEAD OF PUTTING HER DOWN AND RUNNING YOUR MOUTH. MAYBE YOU FEEL LIKE THE GRANDKIDS ARE PROPS BECAUSE TORI AND DEAN ARE SO HANDS ON UNLIKE YOU SORRY MOTHERING SKILLS AS PROVEN BY WHAT YOUR OWN BROTHER IN LAW SAID. YOU WERE THE TYPICAL HOLLYWOOD MOTHER HIRED STAFF TO RAISE YOUR CHILDREN WHILE YOU BY THE WAY DID NOTHING EXCEPT LIVE OFF YOUR HUSBAND'S HARD WORK AND TELL YOUR DOCTOR THAT SHE NEEDED PLACTIC SURGERY TO BE PRETTY. FURTHER MORE I FEEL YOU ARE A GOLD DIGGER EXPLAINING WHY AN ADULT WOMEN WOULD WANT A HOUSE BUILT SO BIG THAT SHE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW HOW MANY BATHROOMS THERE ARE IN THE HOME. YOU ARE NOT HUMBLE FOR THE BLESSINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE INCLUDING YOUR DAUGHTER, GRANDCHILDREN, AND HOME. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO CAN NOT LET GO TO BE SO DISHONORING TO YOUR HUSBAND TO BLAME YOUR DAUGHTER FOR HIS DEATH YOU ARE A SORRY HUMAN BEING AND WILL DIE A LONELY OLD WOMEN BETTER BUY SEVERAL CATS YOU OLD HAG!!!!!

1834 days ago
1270.

tlb    

Candy, Hon, I hate to break it to you but the reason u are acting in the matter you are is due to your jealiousy of your daughter.
your husband loved two women in his life, his wife and his daughter. I am so sorry you put your life on hold, but you have got to stop this blame thing and diggs to your daughter. Had u really loved your grandchildren, and you can, even though you are not in their lives, love them to peices. you can still send little gifts on holiday's and during the year and i don't mean expenisive gifts just little toys for their age group. also,little notes for mom to read to them from grama. when they grow up, they will hate you for what you have done to their mother.
your husband loved you so much, that is why he worked so hard, so many hours, that was a way to show love, from one person to the other. to bothof you to be able to afford what ever you might want. Your husband did a great job on that part of his life but not so well with the little actor, u had a problem w/ tori and acting, since the first try out. now she spends the days and gets the praise from her dad, he did not mean to hurt you. He was just so proud of her, your daughter and the way he was able to handle being at work and away from you, is the way Tori reminded him of you. that is a high compliment. You daughter loves you so much, and not all mom's have that, it must take a certain kind of one or more pills or booze to take away the pain you muct feel.
so, let bye gones be bye gones, and make up as your husband would have wanted, he is so disapointed in you as we all are, it's time to put all the anger and hate away and pull out the love. You have an awsone son and a an awsome daughter who is married with two adorable children, go be a grand mother and a mother to both your children and both of your grand children. They are part of you.
Trust me you will love it,you can talk about all the good things of your husband and one day u will have to one day talk about what happened tori needs to be able to touch, hug and love her mother. talk about what happened later, but for now, just show love and be loved.

lots of love
a friend

1833 days ago
1271.

Kisha    

Tori is right. Her mom Candy sucks!!! Anyone who watches the show can clearly see that Tori really wants a relationship with her mom. And it hurts Tore's heart that her mom is a jerk.

1833 days ago
1272.

Stacey    

I am wrong in understanding that Candy Spelling and Tori Spelling live in the same part of California? I would have thought that a grandmother would have seen her granddaughter WAY before her 1st birthday party. I have NO sympathy for Candy bemoaning the fact that she should not be meeting her granddaughter on primetime cable. Any woman worth their weight in water, who is NOT self absorbed and who wishes to have ANY sort of relationship with her grandchildren would have made the effort. Unfortunately, Candy Spelling seems to be pretty worthless. Tori, some women just don't know what they are giving up. She'll answer for all her wrongs in the end. Maybe your mother's role was to teach you what NOT to do as a mother. You have a beautiful family, enjoy them and smile! We all love you!!

1832 days ago
1273.

Princess    

CANDY, should be ashamed of herself. She doesn't even have the right to be called a mother. Any other Mom would do anything to see their grandchildren. This women just makes me sick to my stomache. She has no shame or pride. All she has is money and all alone. Her daughter is happy with her family. So that is just killing her. This women is going to die alone with money . That all its going to come too. I wouldn't want my kids near that evil witch.

1832 days ago
1274.

Elizabeth    

Candy,

I lost my Mother ( like so many others have ) to Breast Cancer on April 24, 2007. It was just me and her nurse with her when she took her last breath. I will never forget that moment because this person who had always stood by me even when she did not agree with me was gone. We had some issues with each other during our lives but I loved her until the end and I still do. I have two children who I wish each could play with my Mom and see what I beautiful person she was. I do have memories that I have started sharing with our daughter who is now three. I will do the same when my son is older ( he is 13 months ). The past is the past and the most important thing is family. If I could go back in time I have to admit I would probably react differently to disagreements we had. Try to have a talk with your daughter because it is important for all of you not to have regrets.

All the best,
Elizabeth

1831 days ago
1275.

penny    

i am a grandmother and i would never think of doing this to my daughter or grandchildern this way grow up candy money doesnt make you smart look at candy case closed

1830 days ago
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