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The 'Lost' Diary -- The Substitute

2/17/2010 10:50 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

LostDaniel from TMZ here, welcome back to another edition of The "Lost" Diary.

You know that bar game where you have to stare at two pictures and touch the screen whenever you spot a difference? I think that's what this season of "Lost" is like. One minute you're yelling "Hey, Desmond isn't supposed to be on the plane" and the next week you're screaming "Claire's sonogram says October but it's supposed to be September!" What will we spot this week?

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes: I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way. I swore to myself I was going to watch "Lost" at a different place each week, but every other place is far and Ari lives five blocks away. So here we are. Let's roll.

9:00 -- I avoided promos and commercials all week, so the fact the "Previously on 'Lost'" section is Not Locke heavy has me very excited.

9:01 -- Don't tell John Locke he can't get out of a van! OK, maybe he can't, but still -- just don't tell him.

9:02 -- My jaw could not have dropped any further when I saw Helen. Is it possible alternate John Locke is ... *gasp* ... happy?

9:03 -- "And your dad ..." -- Helen. OK, now this is getting weird.

9:04 -- "Maybe it's destiny." -- Helen. Not gonna lie, we're four minutes in and it's getting a little dusty already. Locke-themed episodes never disappoint. (*knocking on wood)

9:05 -- Smokie Cam is making me a little nauseous.

9:06 -- "Alright, Richard. Time to talk." -- Not Locke

9:08 -- I love when even two-bit characters from three seasons ago show up again. How fast did the agent for "Randy" agree to do a cameo?

9:09 -- So apparently Locke "stole" his trip to Australia from his company. Not sure how he ever thought he'd get away with that one.

9:10 -- Richard just asked Not Locke what he meant when he said Locke was "a candidate." Is that the first time Richard asked someone else a question? Usually he's the man with all the answers.

9:11 -- "Come with me and I promise I'll tell you everything." Not Locke to Richard. That feels more like a Ben circa season four line. And who was the little Children of the Corn kid supposed to be?

9:12 -- Ben has had his testicles in Not Locke's purse so far this season, so watching him lie to Ilana is a step in the right direction toward getting them back.

9:13 -- If you could turn into a pillar of black smoke and fly around everywhere, would you ever walk?

9:18 -- "Here's to being dead." -- Sawyer

9:19 -- "What if I told you I was the person who could answer the most important question in the world?" -- Not Locke. Is someone finally going to tell us why Libby was in the mental institution?

9:22 -- Hurley and Locke just had their little meeting and ... dammit it's getting dusty in here again!

9:23 -- I want to get the inevitable Jin/Sun reunion out of the way soon. We all know it's coming, it's going to be great ... let's just do it already.

9:24 -- Now Not Locke is chasing the Children of the Corn threw the woods. Again, why wouldn't you just turn into smoke and chase the kid down? Not Locke is totally under-utilizing the whole Black Smoke Monster thing.

9:25 -- "Don't tell me what I can't do." -- Not Locke. Never gets old.

9:26 -- "Don't tell me what I can't do!" -- Not Locke. See? Never gets old. Oh, I am working under the assumption the Children of the Corn kid is Young Jacob till I am proven wrong.

9:29 -- Richard's warning was pretty concise, well-argued, and all around convincing -- but Sawyer is sticking with Not Locke because it makes for better television.

9:30 -- Locke wants to speak with the temp lady's "supervisor." Has to be someone we know, right? Juliet? Libby?

9:31 -- ROSE!!!!!!

9:31 -- OH NO!!! Rose still has cancer!!! There is no God!!!!

9:32 -- "A little after my time." -- Not Locke. There's a phrase you never hear.

9:33 -- As I am basking in the greatness of Terry O'Quinn, I can't help but think that odds are we will finish this episode, the third of the season, and only seen Desmond for like a minute. That better get corrected next week.

9:38 -- Sun, Ilana, Ben and Lawnmower Man are burying Locke. Ben is about to give his last words. Should be good ...

9:39 -- "He was a much better man than I'll ever be ... and I'm very sorry I murdered him." -- Ben. I just told Ari that when I die, he has to give that eulogy word for word.

9:40 -- Locke tries to call Jack, but gets cold feet.

9:43 -- Locke is explaining to Helen about getting denied on his walkabout.

9:44 -- "There are miracles, John. And the only thing I was waiting for ... was you." -- Helen

9:45 -- Not Locke starts climbing down the ladder and Sawyer follows shortly behind. Man you never would have gotten me to do that.

9:46 -- After a rejected scene from the movie "Cliffhanger," Sawyer and Not Locke make their way to some kind of cave.

9:47 -- "Inside joke." -- Not Locke. Throwing the light stone into the river, leaving the dark one behind.

9:48 -- So everyone's names are scratched into the ceiling? Interesting.

9:53 -- Locke as a high school science teacher -- I buy it.

9:54 -- I know that voice ...

9:55 -- "Ben Linus, European History." -- Ben

9:56 -- Jacob's list?

9:57 -- "Jacob had a thing for numbers." -- Not Locke. And not just any numbers ...

9:59 -- "Are you ready to go home?" -- Not Locke

10:00 -- "Hell yes." -- Sawyer, who is now Team Not Locke

One of my favorite things about "Lost" is that the show is "good" in different ways to different people. Depending on a lot of different factors -- who the flashbacks focus on, how many answers are given, whether or not Kate is soaking wet -- can influence your opinion of the show.

There have been plenty of times I have given an episode a high grade and been called crazy (or vice versa). Even though we all love the show, we all see different things in it and get our enjoyment different ways.

That being said, I woke up this morning (or rather was woken up by a text message. Thanks, Steven -- it's becoming a weekly tradition) and found myself texting, IMing and calling people to find out whether or not I was crazy.

"Last night's episode was awesome, right?"

I take my grades of "Lost" very seriously -- like a high school substitute science teacher. So, that all being said ... I give tonight's episode an A-.

I think if you love "Lost" when it's giving you a non-mythology story, you loved Locke's off-island scenes. If you love "Lost" to try and figure out WTF is going on, you loved Not Locke's scenes. To me, it was the perfect combination of everything I love about "Lost."

Doesn't hurt that I love Locke.

I am going to throw out a question here that I am not sure the answer of. Well, I am like 90% sure the answer is "no" -- but I am keeping drifting more and more towards "maybe" as I think about it. Here goes"

Are we sure -- like 100%, lock it down, no doubt about it sure -- the Man in Black/Smokie/Not Locke is really the bad guy here? Just asking.
103 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Bob Weadababyitsaboy    

What if the kid in the woods IS Jacob and when he said "You know the rules, you cant kill him." Hes not referring to "Jacob" But hes talking about James Ford aka Sawyer.....just my thought on that little bit.

1717 days ago
32.

b to the g    

I'm thinkin that the final scene of the final episode is the children of the corn kid playing a video game of our show Lost and it ends on a graphic that says "Game Over" and the island falls to the bottom of the ocean.

1717 days ago
33.

Jenz    

Could the Flashsideways are how people's lives would of been had Jacob not interfered, not how their lives would of been if the plane had landed. Hugo has great luck, Helen is around?

And the Richard "in chains" thing, was Richard a prisoner/slave on the Black Rock?

1717 days ago
34.

jjfelts    

"You know the rules, you can't kill him"--This quote reminded me of the account in the bible where satan is challenging God when it came the man Job. Satan's challenge was that a man would do anything including turning against God to save his life. God agreed to let satan test Job--which he did--by killing all his children, his livestock and by striking him with a painful disease but the one condition was that he could not kill him. Something else to think about????

1717 days ago
35.

I selpt with John Edwards, too!!!!!    

Daniel,

I was starting to think that too, that Not Locke is maybe really the good guy, but remember, he has killed people (as the black smoke) throughout the entire series. Remember, he killed the pilot (the dude from Felicity and Heroes) in the very first episode after they crashed. So I don't see how he can be the good guy if he's running around killing folks, right??

Maybe he's the lesser of two evils?

This wasn't involved in last night's show, but does anyone know if they ever explained how the hell Kate became an expert in "tracking?" It's probably the cheesiest part of the entire show. The hottest chick on the island is as good as an Indian tracker?? Yeah right!!! I don't think they've ever explained how she learned this skill, have they?

1717 days ago
36.

Tom    

I don't think Not Locke is actually the Smoke Monster. I think Not Locke is pretending to be the Smoke Monster so that he appears more powerful than he is. (Like when Sawyer holds a gun to his head in last night's episode.) I think Not Locke is an agent of the Smoke Monster instead and he has a lot more information because of this. Until we see Not Locke turn into the Smoke Monster, I think it's a ruse on his part.

1717 days ago
37.

Ebony    

ok i agree with your grade -- i loved last night show -- now i wonder why no one mention the fact that @ the statue the girl put Jacob's ashes in a bag -- i think that is going to play out later in the show -- and also I thought that the little boy could possiblly be Aaron but then that goes to show that Claire never left Aaron by the tree and Kate never took him off the island -- i can't wait for next week

1717 days ago
38.

sara    

i hated the episode

1717 days ago
39.

Kim    

This may have already been noted...but since it has been MORE THAN 30 years since the engagement ring had been put under the floor boards...thus making it farther along than 2007...could the boy that the MIB chases through the woods be Aaron? Somewhat grown up and on the island...and that is why Claire is there too...

1717 days ago
40.

abigail    

I am skeptical too about Jacob being the good guy and MIB the bad. I think, to use an analogy, it is much like trying to figure out if it is ben or widmore that is the bad guy there. Maybe the whole point of the show is that there is no good or bad guy, rather just people do bad things sometimes.

1717 days ago
41.

grossed out.    

Simone, Kate's tracking skills, if I am remembering correctly, came from her real father. If I'm wrong though, someone please remind me exactly who it was? I'm quite sure its someone from her family.

1717 days ago
42.

My eyes!    

What about Hurley being Rose's boss -- why doesn't she know who he is on the island? Clearly Locke doesn't know that Hurley is his boss until they meet in the parking lot, but at the meeting with Locke, Rose is aware that Hurley is her boss.

1717 days ago
43.

redconfetti    

I don't know if it's significant, but since that was Jacob's cave, wouldn't it be 'Jacob's ladder' that they used to get into the cave?

Does anyone think this might be some sort of symbolic reference or something?

1717 days ago
44.

My eyes!    

Makes sense that Linus and Ethan aren't on the island in 2004 since the island blew up and Ethan probably never went and Linus probably left after he survived Sayid's bullet.

1717 days ago
45.

graciesls    

Maybe being killed or dying on the island isn't a bad thing. Maybe the Black Smoke Monster/Not Locke removes people from the island, sending them on to the afterlife or back to regular ole' earth and the living. Maybe it is some kind of game and Jacob brings the players and Not Locke removes them. Who knows why but being killed or dying on the island may only be a way a person is removed from the the game going on there.
And maybe they are only temporarily removed as "dead" people have a way of returning. The point is Dead is not a simple thing on that island and the an in Black/Not Locke can not be seen as evil just because he "killed" people.

1717 days ago
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