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The 'Lost' Diary -- The Candidate

5/5/2010 6:00 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Welcome back to another edition of The "Lost" Diary.

I IMed my old college roommate Chris on Tuesday morning to ask what he was thinking going into "Lost" tonight. "I need at least one death," he told me. I responded, "Yeah, it's been awhile … it's hard to be 'Lost' w/o killing off a few people. This isn't '30 Rock.'" Haven't had any major RIPs in a while. Are we due for one? (Ed.'s note: Yes, this was an actual conversation and yes, this was written before the episode).

For all you "Lost" Diary newbies, here's how it goes: I gather with a group of friends watching "Lost," writing what happens on the show as it happens, and throwing in my two cents along the way. I am over at Ari's place for a Lakers/"Lost" double feature. Lakers did their job, now it's time for "Lost." Let's roll ...

9:00 -- On the DVR, the first three seconds of "Lost" were the end of "Dancing With the Stars." It was the worst three seconds of "Lost" ever.

9:01 -- "I think you're a candidate." -- Jack



9:02 -- "Welcome to Hydra Island." -- Sayid. Not to be confused with Fantasy Island, Shutter Island or MILF Island

9:03 -- Sawyer, Kate, Jin, Sun, Lawnmower Man, Claire and Hurley have been put in the bear cage "for their own good." For once, I want to do something someone's "own good." Actually, by this time next week, I will. Check back in a week.

9:07 -- Is it me or is Bernard a tad creepy?

9:10 -- Not Locke has an interesting strategy to try and get Jack to help him -- by reminding him that, if he wanted, he could easily kill everyone. Scary, true, and effective.

9:11 -- "Feels like we're running circles, back in these cages?" -- Sawyer. Yes, yes it does.

9:12 -- Another Sun/Jin reunion scene that just doesn't do anything for me. In this scene, they have about as much chemistry as me and Larry King.

9:13 -- I get super duper excited lately whenever I know the Smoke Monster is about to attack. Not sure what that says about me. 

9:14 -- Do you think Jack ran alongside the Smoke Monster? Did the Smoke Monster carry him like on a magic carpet ride? Did Jack actually see Not Locke turn into the Smoke Monster? These are the things I think about. 

9:19 -- The whole gang is almost back together, heading to the plane. Wonder what Desmond is up to? Is he still in that well?

9:20 -- Jack is trying to see Anthony Cooper and he runs into Helen. This seems like as good time as any to mention that Katey Segal, who is awesome in her small parts on "Lost," absolutely steals the show on "Sons of Anarchy." Highly recommend. 

9:21 -- Doesn't look like ol' Anthony is doing too well. 

9:22 -- Not Locke/Jason Bourne just killed two guys and now he's aboard the plane. 

9:23 -- Seems the whole plane was wired with C4. Hate when that happens.

9:24 -- Not Locke wants to take the submarine now. I still don't like the submarine plan.

9:25 -- Sawyer wants Jack to get Not Locke in the water and he will "take care of the rest." This I gotta see. 

9:30 -- "Push the button … I wish you had believed me." -- Locke

9:31 -- Claire is at the hospital to see Jack, and she has a music box with her. 

9:32 -- "Oceanic Flight 815?" -- Jack

9:33 -- Operation Steal the Sub is underway. 

9:34 -- And it's really, really easy. 

9:35 -- Jack just tossed Locke into the water and Kate got shot. I am surprisingly happy about the latter. 

9:36 -- Not Locke is finally out of the water and gunning down Widmore's people. Meanwhile, all the candidates are on the sub. Just saying …

9:37 -- "Trust me, you don't want to be on that sub." -- Not Locke. Ruh-roh!

9:38 --  Is that a shirt in my backpack? Nope, it's a ticking bomb.

9:39 -- "Locke … we did exactly what he wanted." -- Jack

9:43 -- Sayid is trying to play Hurt Locker with the bomb Locke left behind. Does anyone really think the bomb is going to go off and kill half the cast?

9:44 -- "We are going to be okay. You just have to trust me." -- Jack. I have done a complete 180 on Jack. He's been my favorite character of the past few weeks.

9:45 -- Let's discuss what just happened. Sawyer grabbed the wires, which did nothing but make the bomb mad. Sayid told Jack where to find Desmond, told he was the one (like Neo), then ran with the bomb, where it blew up. Here's my question -- would the bomb have gone off if Sawyer never touched it? I think not. 

9:46 -- Everyone is scrambling. Hurley is helping Kate … while Jack, Jin and Sawyer are helping Sun. Um, I think I'd rather Sun right now. 

9:47 -- Actually, things don't look good for anyone right now. 

9:52 -- I have nothing good to say about the last five minutes. 

9:56 -- Locke is being discharged from the hospital, seemingly as if nothing has changed. 

9:57 -- Locke is in the wheelchair because he was in a plane crash -- he was flying, and his dad was a passenger. 

9:58 -- "What happened, happened." -- Jack

9:59 -- "To finish what I started." -- Not Locke 

There's a good possibility that I am completely wrong about everything I am about to write. And I fully expect everyone to hate me for this. That being said … 

Sayid died. Jin died. Sun died. 

Guess what? I don't care. 

Not one bit.

Didn't react. Didn't say a word. Didn't blink. 

Do you know why I don't care? Because "Lost" has made it impossible for me to care about what happens.

I'll explain. 

Right now we have the island, and we have the flash-sideways. I don't quite know what they have to do with each other or which one is "real."

But if I apply some kind of logic -- which is never a good idea with "Lost" -- then one of them has to prevail in the end, right? Can they both be "real"? When the show ends, Oceanic 815 either crashed or it didn't. 

So that being said, that means until I know what is going on, how can I care what happens in either timeline?

When I said before the episode that I needed someone to die, I didn't realize how nothing could be further from the truth. Nothing of any actual consequence had happened on the island this season (save for maybe Juliet's death) so I didn't know how little I would care. 

Sayid is dead. Jin is dead. Sun is dead. And yet, next week, when the flash-sideways kick in … they'll be alive and well. 

They're dead on the island, but not off it. 

So I ask you again … why should I care about what happens in either timeline?

I'm skipping the grade this week. Doesn't feel right.
112 COMMENTS

No Avatar
91.

sib    

I have to agree with one of the earlier posts on here, it is setting up perfectly for Jack and Sawyer to take over as the white and black caretakers of the island. Not Locke isn't allowed to kill the candidates, if anyone remembers from earlier this season, but I don't recall Desmond being on the list, can anyone clarify? I'm assuming he is since he had to get Sayid to "kill" him.

1631 days ago
92.

CATRINA    

Could not agree more. Sayid was my favorite character. But felt nothing when he died. I'm shocked that some ppl are so upset over Sun and Jin. I felt nothing..and I'm a chick who usually cries over such sappy stuff!

1631 days ago
93.

Ruthied    

I am sooooo with you! I care but I cant care until I know what is going on.. I mean come on who is where and who is when I am sooooo confused!!!!! but I love it... no grade from me either! but I cant wait to see what happens

1631 days ago
94.

Sergio    

Dude...your a total douche!!! You are a disgrace to Lost fans everywhere!!!

1630 days ago
95.

kelley    

OK,there are really some ppl on here trying to show off how smart and intellectual they are. And there on this website, NOW THAT'S FUNNY I DON'T CARE WHO U R!! So all us simpletons as u basically put it have the last laugh after all. Is that ok mad d guy n anon? LMFAO!!!!

1630 days ago
96.

Anon1984    

@kelley - not stalking this site, I swear, but your reply just came up in my email. Are we trying to "show" how smart and intellectual we are or are we smart and intellectual? I actually just found Evil Marshall D entertaining to debate with quite honestly. As I mentioned, it's the reason I and many others like this show - it opens lines of conversation and makes you think. I didn't say all people on this site were simpletons - I said people making comments like "Lost sucks!" or something equally devoid of creativity or reason were simpletons and then I gave a real defense of the show. If you want to call yourself out as being a simpleton and have a last laugh go right on ahead, but I'm not really sure that means that you are getting the last laugh...
By the way, I'm entertained by Celebrity gossip And science fiction. Just call me a modern day renaissance woman, lol. Oh, and p.s. - it's "they're" not "there".

1630 days ago
97.

kelley    

Anon, U r stalking this site. Lol. N Thank u for the correction I will TRY to make a mental note of that. :) N I did not call myself a simpleton so....nah nuh nah nuh boo boo..:)

1630 days ago
98.

Anon1984    

@kelley - Now I am stalking the site. I was hoping for a retort and you didn't disappoint! And girl (and yes I realize I just started my sentence with a conjunction) you just Tolddddd me didn't you?
You did call yourself a simpleton...why would you take offense to something and group yourself into a group of people whom my insult was intended for otherwise? You also used the word "us" when mentioning simpletons.
Come on, I just don't even understand why some people bother to post anything. Do you really think that anyone cares that you think that Lost was "cool" or "not cool" or the other stupid things that people post? Say something interesting or don't bother. We're all anonymous here. That's why I don't care if I'm coming across as a total creep - no one knows who I am! If you want people to care about your unimaginative, boring, played out opinions then post them as your update on Facebook, otherwise leave the forums to people who have something to say. Some of us hate our jobs and need to become involved in a battle of wits to get through the day. Is that alright with you? It's especially frustrating to know that someone has an ideal job as a Writer who can't ever give us a single theory on Lost and feels the need to tell us which characters he likes at the moment or not instead.

1630 days ago
99.

hippiegirll    

So, Jin & Sun died. The name Qwon was written in the cave. Does anyone else think that may be their daughter?

1630 days ago
100.

daniel    

dude calm down

1630 days ago
101.

The Evil Marshall D    

Kelley@"OK,there are really some ppl on here trying to show off how smart and intellectual they are. And there on this website, NOW THAT'S FUNNY I DON'T CARE WHO U R!! So all us simpletons as u basically put it have the last laugh after all. Is that ok mad d guy n anon? LMFAO!!!!"



It's OK. Laugh it up. BTW, I'm Evil not mad...even though "The Mad Dude" does have a certain ring to it. But bear in mind that you not only insulted the site, but the readers as simpletons by mocking our posting on this site as being funny to you. Now THAT'S funny. And implying that I'm intellectual is actually insulting, so insulting that I'm going to go outside and shoot my horse. There, see what you went and made me do?



1630 days ago
102.

gemini81    

ANON, maybe before you start nitpicking people about their spelling, you should learn how to spell yourself!! It's LYING not LIEING. Even a 2nd grader knows that. I think you may have written "dieing" as well, that's pretty bad. In my opinion, any intelligent things you had to say were completely quashed when you misspelled those words.

1629 days ago
103.

Anon1984    

@gemini81 - I couldn’t give a shi* how people spell or what they say grammatically on a forum. I was being a punk on purpose to humor her assertion that I was “showing” how smart I was. Yes, I spelled both of those words wrong and I realized it the moment I fired the posts off. Once the post is up, it’s up. I enjoy debates on TMZ, but not to the point where I proofread everything that I write. That’s why her accusation was especially entertaining to me. I wasn’t “trying” to be smart in the least bit.
If you think that spelling is more important than the points that one makes and is the true measure of one’s intelligence I’d travel to the national spelling bee convention and get those kids opinions on “Lost”. Those kids seem like philosophical geniuses. We’re coming up on it here too. I hear that when they talk into their hands, their hands talk back! Granted their theories usually require creationism at their center, but I’m guessing that they are profound nonetheless because dam* those kids sure can spell!

1629 days ago
104.

gemini81    

Wow, how long did it take you to come up with that?



P.S.- Get back to work and stop f*cking around on TMZ!!!

1629 days ago
105.

gemini81    

Anon-
One last bit of advice:
"Brevity is the soul of wit..."
You should keep that in mind.

1629 days ago
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