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Arnold and Maria's Split -- A Long Time Coming

5/10/2011 5:16 AM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

Maria Shriver has been "miserable" in her marriage for a long, long time, sources connected with the couple tell TMZ ... and it's all about Arnold Schwarzenegger's "craziness."

Arnold Schwarzenegger Divorce

We're told Maria moved out of the couple's L.A. mansion months ago.  Sources tell us she's been extremely unhappy in her marriage for years, complaining about Arnold's out of control ego, as well as his womanizing.

We're also told Maria feels Arnold has ignored her for years and she's felt terribly unappreciated.

Sources say the couple has spent "very little time together" for several years.  Maria was frequently absent from Sacramento while Arnold was Governor. 

The situation got worse once Arnold left office and decided he wanted to resurrect his movie career.  Maria felt Arnold was becoming more erratic -- more "unstable." 

Our sources say Maria's religious views caused her deep distress over whether to split and/or divorce.   As one source put it: "She's been a lost soul for a long time."


Maria -- Contemplated Divorce for Nearly 2 Years

Maria Shriver has been deciding whether to DIVORCE Arnold Schwarzenegger since 2009 ... but sources with direct knowledge tell TMZ, she's been "extremely conflicted."


We're told Maria has been unhappy with Arnold for years ... and first planned to split with him back in 2009 ... but her mother passed away and Maria decided to hold off.

Then, we're told, Maria wanted to try to break it off again in January 2011 ... but her father died ... once again putting the split on hold.

Our source tells us Maria is fed up with Arnold's infidelities ... coupled with the fact he's been "impossible" to live with. We're told Maria's kids acknowledge the issues -- and have pushed their mother to call off the marriage.

People who have spoken with Maria tell us ... despite her STRONG public persona, Maria has become a "shell of the woman" she appears to be because she is "terrified" of Arnold ... but in an emotional, not a  physical way.

However, once Maria finally decided to separate from Arnold  -- and moved into a fancy Beverly Hills hotel -- we're told Arnold pulled a 180 ... and he's been "working extremely hard" to win her back.  As one source says, "He could not be sweeter now that she's left him."

To make things even more complicated, Arnold and Maria have been spending LOTS of time together lately ... hanging out during Easter, Mother's Day and even their 25th anniversary ... which they celebrated together at an expensive hotel.

A source close to the couple tells us ... despite their differences, Arnold and Maria have "serious chemistry between them" ... which is why she has such ambivalence about the break-up.

But ambivalence aside, Maria has been "miserable" in the marriage and has taken a big step to end the relationship.

Arnold Schwarzenegger -- The Ring Disappears

Hours before the world knew about his separation ... Arnold Schwarzenegger broke out his street bike and went for a ride with his bodyguard in L.A. yesterday ... sans wedding ring.

But Arnold WAS wearing his ring on Sunday ... the day before the couple announced their split.

Meanwhile, Maria Shriver has been ringless since mid-March ... right after Maria posted a cryptic video on YouTube asking her fans for advice on how to "transition" into the next phase of her life.051011_maria_shriver_still

As you already know, Arnold and Maria announced their separation last night ... and in their statement, they claimed they've been living apart for several weeks.

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Gina H.    

This sounds all too familiar. My husband of 19 years was obsessed with bodybuilding - not professionally, just for himself. When he hit 40, it started to tank so he got into heavy steroid use. The steroids, along with mid-life crisis, made him a maniac. He cheated constantly and we finally divorced last year. My teenage son & daughter also wanted me out long before we actually divorced. I'm ashamed to say that it took him leaving to end it. I loved him and wanted our family to stay intact but a year after the divorce, I see no change in him and no shred of the person we [my kids and I] once knew. During our marriage, we did not fuss or fight and still had a great sex life so I have no explanation for why this all happened except for the "craziness" he fell into. I'm just saying this because people have a hard time believing situations like Maria's. I, for one, know it's real.

1259 days ago


I am sorry to hear that they looked like a great couple together! I know when your husband is in politics you can not expect that he spends as much time with you as a regular husband.(even they don't..) They have beautiful well tought intelligent kids. Unlike other Americans with money who raising stupid overspoiled kids.

1259 days ago


What's the big deal? Right from the start, BOTH knew this marriage would be 'difficult.' He a foreign Republican Prod, and she a spoiled brat Kennedy. Now, nearly thirty years later, they have DIFFERENCES? Sorry, I don't buy it. Follow the paperwork... she filed because she really wants something else outside this marriage. I also don't buy into anyone talking her out of or into her decisions. These are grown adults who have decided EVERYTHING on their own for many decades.

1259 days ago


Hey 'Pete' I suggest you re-read the Maria/Arnold split. Maria left Arnold not the other way around. You can pretend that the separation was Arnolds choice but after reading the article it's clear that he's trying to win her back not run away.

Your comment is typical of men like you and Arnold ... avoid accountability and blame the victim. Maria will be find. She's a Shriver and a Kennedy cousin ... Arnold ... hmmm good luck.

Debbie,Tijeras NM

1259 days ago


I agree with you Gina, the world has truly become a rat race to the bottom. All of you right wing nut jobs need to stop bringing politics into this, this is about someones marriage ending not her political agenda.

1259 days ago

John Gasparro    

As a former actor/producer, I can tell you that marriages in Hollywood are no more than a game of "musical-chairs" to them. And, children are no more than a "pet" to be played with and worshipped--untill they become adults, and follow in their parents footsteps! The whole "game" of marriage is such a tragic waste of time and energy for these celebrities and notables.

I was a happily married man with four children when I arrived in Hollywood. After a few years there, I can admit that I began to behave just like Arnold and others like him in the celebrity business. My marriage and relationship with my children went in the same direction as many other celebrities, and to this day, several years later, the division and hatred still exist.

There is a certain stigmatism that goes with being in the Hollywood crowed that goes all the way back to it's begining. And it's not good! It's filled with heartache and disaster and tragedy.

Paul Newman and Joann Woodward were two of the few exceptions to the rule. They kept their distance from Hollywood and it's cronies for all their marriage years. Their marriage should have been an example to many in the Hollywood crowed, however, only few took the example. When I finally realized that I fell into the "musical-chairs" trap; I tried to salvage my marriage and children by making an effort to get out of Hollywood and return home with my family. However, it was too late, because my wife and children got too deep into the celebrity culture and didn't want to leave. I blamed myself for years, for bringing them out there and subjecting them to that "fantacy" lifestyle that has no substance--only external glitter.

My advice to Maria is to get out, go home, and marry a common man with substance and humility and live a simple, happy and uncomplicated life with family and friends--just like Paul and Joann did for many years in Connecticut.

John Gasparro/freelance writer

1259 days ago


Where two fight, two are at fault. It takes two to tango...etc. So what for all the drama. Split and be done with it. And dont fight about possessions. You one fork, me 1 knife. Good luck to both of you.

1259 days ago


Arn is just trying to keep up with the rest of the Kennedy boys with their 'race horses'...'infidelities'??? Nothing new for this bunch...

1259 days ago


In no time they will have another love next to them and be happy as can be. I like to know how do women who were in love yesterday and tomorrow their with new love. I do admire women who can do that. Give me your secret. I can't seem to move on from my grief. Tell me how you can fall in love in life so many times I really want to know.

1259 days ago


It's no darn wonder she was unhappy in her marriage --I mean REALLY? Look at the family she comes from. Bunch of 'never worked, got daddy's money,ultra liberal, patronizing everyone to get elected, jerkoffs'. Gee what a surprise!

1259 days ago


Typical liberal boo-hoo woe-is-me sob story.

1259 days ago

Hanne Raymond    

WOW! So much hate for people we don't know at all. I have my mind made up, don't confuse me with facts!

1259 days ago


I am very leery of when unnamed sources are used for a news article. More so when bashing. Couples spilt all the time without the mud slinging. Most of the time because one strayed. Yet with celebrities or power players, seems all the sources seem to come out with is toxic. Because gossip sells, simple minds eat it up. Makes their lives better by comparison. The dig about Arnold going back to movies screamed tabloid gossip. Because most people work. Some enjoy what they do, and life rolls on. I know hard concept for some to process, let alone assimilate.

1259 days ago


A marriage of social and political convenience for both of them.

1259 days ago


When He Needed Her, to become Governor, SHE, was There, for Him. What does that tell you about her, the so called "brain"! To let a man walk all over you as she has does is a reminder of her Grandmother, Rose Kennedy. Her Grandfather, brought his lover Gloria Swanson to his home, with his wife and children. Old Joe, wanted to marry Gloria, however a Bishop told him no! She has more money tan she knows what to do with and yet she stayed in this loveless marriage! She saw, how her uncles, treated their wives and yet, she decided to stay with Arnold. Her choice, her result!

1259 days ago
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