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Comedian Ralphie May

Weed Nearly Killed Me!

1/19/2012 3:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

comedian Ralphie May
"Last Comic Standing" finalist and outspoken weed advocate Ralphie May is finally calling it quits on the sticky icky -- telling TMZ, smoking marijuana nearly killed him last year ... so he's giving it up for good.

May tells us, he was diagnosed with walking pneumonia before taking a cruise last November -- but the condition quickly got worse ... and before long, he was holed up in the boat's infirmary with a life-threatening lung infection.

May tells us, "If I hadn't been a 20-year weed smoker, it wouldn't have been as bad."

You'll recall -- May was detained in a Guam airport back in 2010 for weed possession after the comic decided to pet a drug-sniffing dog. Not his brightest moment.

May says he used to smoke around 4 ounces of pot a WEEK, but "feels great" ever since he quit -- adding, "I had a great time doing it, but now I can pet every dog in Guam."


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yeahh 4 ounces a week will do that to you, personally i cant smoke more than an ounce a week...but smoking weed especially that amount puts soot into your lungs which damages vital areas and exposes them to whatever you breath, so its more your lungs are sensitive to infections and environmental pollution..

1007 days ago


a QP a week!? crazy! did his lungs ever have just air in them?
he gets sick and still cant take responsibility for it. blame the weed. what a jerk...after all weed has done for you. looks like he overindulges in everything in his life. no moderation at all.

1007 days ago


Yeah, it was the weed. Not the 800 pounds of excess fat all over his body that gave him trouble breathing.

1007 days ago


Let's be honest here... That dude is funny, but he is also an obese, out of shape mess. And if you are smoking 4 ounces of ANYTHING per week, your lungs are gonna get ****ed up. Education and moderation, my friends.

1007 days ago


it couldn't have anything to do with the fact he's morbidly obese, right...

granted, SMOKING weed may have its drawbacks but there are many other options for taking it.

1007 days ago


1/4 of a pound a week??!! i was a heavy smoker and rarely went through more than an oz per week

1007 days ago

the artist formerly known as hand turkey    

Wrong. Bacteria nearly killed you. Bacteria can kill a healthy person, an obese person is especially vulnerable to bacterial infection.

1007 days ago


Love Ya Ralphie, but separate yourself from the fork and plate - thats the real problem. Snoop inhales more weed than air but hes just fine and old as hell to boot. IT AIN"T DA WEED FRIEND!!!

1007 days ago


That's why they make vaporizers, dude.

1007 days ago


I guess Ralphie didn't read the most recent medical study that shows that smoking weed actually increases lung function?

1007 days ago


I think there's something else that's killng him.

1007 days ago


Right. Smoking weed was the cause of his illness.

Not the fact that he's a fat fVc

1007 days ago

And another thing!    

Doesn't he smoke cigarettes too? Um, Ralphie, smoking cigs and weighing half a ton isn't doing anything for your lungs either dear. I'm sure your doc mentioned that.

You smoked 4oz a week? When did you have time to perform? I smoke daily and I go through a z in a month. What kind of dirt weed you smoking Ralphie? Stop blaming the doob for your jacked up health. You have a half dozen things you are doing that can be contributed to your crappy health. Of course anyone is going to feel better if they stop smoking 4ozs of weed a week. You would have to be an idiot to do that in the first place.

1007 days ago


I think his unhealthy weight may have been a factor and that he's trying to blame weed because its easier and still has a moral stigma. I'm sure all the trans fat he eats has something to do with it, I'm sure he doesn't shop at Whole Foods!!!

1007 days ago


Smoking weed did not almost kill you. Being a lazy fat a@@ is what almost killed you.

1007 days ago
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