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Lindsay Lohan

I'm Gonna SING

My Opening Monologue on SNL

3/3/2012 6:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Lindsay Lohan
's taking her music career to the next level on SNL tonight -- TMZ has learned, the actress plans to SING the majority of her opening monologue on the sketch show.

Sources tell TMZ, nothing's off the table either -- Lindsay will poke fun at all the recent mishaps in her life ... arrests, endless court dates, necklace-stealing sagas, jail, morgue duty ... the list goes on.

But Lindsay won't be alone on stage -- we're told several cast members will join her in chorus.

Sources tell us, Lindsay wants to show the world she doesn't take herself as seriously as people think -- and actually has a sense of humor about the legal troubles that have plagued her the last few years.

We're told Lindsay has also extended several personal invites to famous friends to join her on the show -- and they unanimously accepted. No word yet on who the surprise guests might be.

Bottom line ... Lindsay knows there's a lot riding on tonight's performance -- so she's determined to make it one for the ages, practicing non-stop all week long.

Speaking of singing -- let's all take a moment to remember Lindsay's foray into pop music ...


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972 days ago


Snooki is more popular than burned out lilo

972 days ago


Lindsay's last chance? Turns out, she's had 11 already...

And people wonder why were aren't cheering for her and supporting her.
F*CK her.

972 days ago

Chuck D of Valpo    

"Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC would seem appropriate.

972 days ago


Won't be watching, just the site of her coke-bloated face and body makes me sick.

972 days ago

some guy    

People need to stop giving her such a hard time. The only difference between her and 95% of Hollywood is that she got caught. Almost anyone at her age with that kind of money and fame would have been in similar situations. I'm sure she's grown wiser and grown up more. With all the bad int he world, her mistakes as well as many celebrities' shouldn't be taken so seriously.

972 days ago

Chuck D of Valpo    

I think I have it. Her surprise guests will be her mom, dad, brothers, and sister. They will sing "Meet the Flintstones" theme song but with a different version. Something like this...
"Lohans, meet the Lohans.
They are your modern day messed up family.
From the town of New York,
they are in a place called misery.
Let's ride with the family down the street.
To every drug dealer that they meet.
When your with the Lohans,
you'll have a doob time.
A great big doob time.
You'll have a gay ol' time!"

While she sings that the rest of the family and cast will be blowing into 2 gallon whiskey jugs.

Can't wait.

972 days ago


How sweet, Lowhan has a sense of humor about her thieving, carjacking, kidnapping, causing bodily injury, speed-chasing thru city limits, multiple DUI's, coke possession, assault on numerous victims, 100 probation violations, etc etc. Yeah, ha ha ha. Not.
She has killed way too many brain cells to pull this off, she'll flub her lines & be a laughing stock as usual plus she'll be really hung over and/or drunk, can't wait lol

972 days ago


Oh really, so drinking and driving, theft and drug abuse shouldn't be taken seriously??

972 days ago


Omg, that music video is hilarious. Lindsay trying to be a real music lame

972 days ago


That video and song made me feel sad for Lindsay, it says it all.

People should stop putting pressure on Lindsay, SNL is a comedy show, its a show she loves and she'll do a great job. Haters who say they won't watch...thats ok, you won't be able to hate on her performance then will you?

Lindsay is a multi talented woman who is working hard to get things right, any normal person would feel compassion for her efforts. Good luck Lindsay, so many people are rooting for you.

972 days ago


She's going to bomb.
Too desperate.
Don't care how many famous people are on stage with her, she's the one who stole the necklace + she's the one with bad behavior. Doesn't get it. GO AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

972 days ago

Michael Jackson Was A Pedo    

I hope that she makes fun of the fact that she now has the face of a woman in her late 40's when you see photos of her up close.
She should make fun of her meth mouth teeth that she had to get fixed too.
Oh.. and she should also poke fun at the fact that her career has gone so far down the toilet that she had to do whatever she could to land a role in a Lifetime made-for-TV movie.

972 days ago


OF COURSE the entire cast of SNL will be up there whaling...errr...singing with her. It distracts from the fact that she has zero talent alone. The rest of the show will be the same way. She'll be in the background. God this is "Can't wait!" said like Bart Scott.

972 days ago

Good riddance!    

So freaking glad Strikeforce is on tomorrow night! Tate vs. Rousey and prelims too! Why would anyone would want to subject themselves to a thieving druggy with a truck driver/lot lizard's voice? Boycott SNL! Don't reward sh!tty people!

972 days ago
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