Our TV Shows

Got a Tip?

Call TMZ at (888) 847-9869 or Click Here

Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked

The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.


No Avatar


This was the reason Lohan tried to blow off the movie in the first place Sheen was just another excuse. It poked too much fun of her.

The beauty of it is. Not only did she get her ass kicked in the movie poking fun at her, she had to give most of her salery back for damages and her BS.

Yes Virgina, there is a Santa Clause.

635 days ago


Not funny.I'd rather watch fat fux Mike n Molly.

635 days ago

LA Native    

funny how many of the enablers are gone during this birthday dinner evening.

635 days ago


You go, Blo!!!

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like getting wasted in Margaritaville, again....

635 days ago


Is this a film or a Comedy Central roast. Sounds God awful.

635 days ago


Yes, you friggin moron, you are a joke, a total laughing stock.

Who the is she trying to kid. She knew full well they were going to make fun of her and yet she had no problem accepting the contract for $200k.

Then she turns around and decides it made too much fun of her. That worked out well.

SM5 should cut nothing out Lohan hates. What's she going to do sue them.

635 days ago


Was out most of the night. But catching up a bit. That dinner, was that recent? Lohan looks like she's in a gang and her eyes show she's blitzed and yes Maddy, Dina is too. What a couple of lushes. DINA is the worst. So the dinner drinks were on top of her daily intake of 2 gallons of vodka?

635 days ago


Her life isn't a joke. It's the reality. She is slipping and sliding as if she were on ice and once she will crash into the wall it's going to hurt

635 days ago


H8turds4Life or two years, whichever comes first.

635 days ago


So much for Lohan boasting how she's such a good sport. Not even close. No way she doesn't know she's being laughed at and not with. Very big difference.

635 days ago


you guys really need to look at this its really freaking me out i think just beiber is sleeping with someone new...

635 days ago


Her career is so over.

635 days ago


For the H8TURDS

635 days ago


Wow...that trailer is so lame. They actually think they can put this out and people will pay for it.

635 days ago


Holy Christ, she's even getting trashed all over for this. Who needs to see any of this. God her career is still toast.

This is funny.

We start it off with them in bed making a sex tape, until she says, "Okay let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

"Promise me you won't drive," he urges. "That's very sweet, worrying about me behind the wheel," she replies. "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian," Sheen counters.

BAM! Oh, and it continues ...

As they get it on, Charlie keeps being thwarted - first by her sobriety monitor, then her house arrest anklet ... then a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

At another point, Lindsay SCREAMS in abject terror, but not because of any deranged killer ... she's just watching her own film Herbie: Fully Loaded.

In the trailer, this is already changed - to news coverage of her probation being revoked.

The jokes go on and on until at one point, Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving."

Of course Lohan didn't like it because it's all so true. Lohan was all summed up in a cameo.

635 days ago
Previous 15 Comments | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Most Recent | Next 15 Comments

Around The Web