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Lindsay Lohan in 'Scary Movie 5'

My Life Is

One Big Joke

12/22/2012 10:30 AM PST BY TMZ STAFF
EXCLUSIVE

1123-sheen-lohan-sub-2Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen share the screen together in "Scary Movie 5" -- and while you think they'd each get made fun of equally, TMZ has learned the majority of the jokes come at LiLo's expense ... and boy do they have a lot of material to work with. 

TMZ has seen the working script for "SM 5" (don't worry we won't give too much away) and it starts with LiLo and Charlie in bed making a sex tape (obviously, what else?). As they get started Lindsay tells Charlie, "Okay but let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

CHARLIE: "Promise me you won't drive."
LINDSAY: "That's very sweet. You're worried about me behind the wheel."
CHARLIE: "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian."

But wait there's more ...

As things start to get hot and heavy (don't worry they cut down the actual kissing!) Charlie keeps running into LiLo's numerous bodily devices ... i.e. her sobriety monitor, tracking anklet, and a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

Once the scary stuff kicks in -- and Charlie gets thrown across the room -- Lindsay SCREEEAMS ... but it's only because she's watching her own crappy movie, "Herbie: Fully Loaded." In the trailer (below) the joke got switched to her watching the news instead ... which shows her probation being revoked



The jokes go on like this for awhile until at one point Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving." 

AND FYI
-- This is all from the "working script" (Hollywood speak!) ... so you can check out the trailer, but it's anyone's guess what made the final cut.

525 COMMENTS

No Avatar
136.

janet    

This was the reason Lohan tried to blow off the movie in the first place Sheen was just another excuse. It poked too much fun of her.


The beauty of it is. Not only did she get her ass kicked in the movie poking fun at her, she had to give most of her salery back for damages and her BS.


Yes Virgina, there is a Santa Clause.

565 days ago
137.

Zarley    

Not funny.I'd rather watch fat fux Mike n Molly.

565 days ago
138.

LA Native    

funny how many of the enablers are gone during this birthday dinner evening.

565 days ago
139.

LLsez    

You go, Blo!!!

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" like getting wasted in Margaritaville, again....

565 days ago
140.

Stargayzing    

Is this a film or a Comedy Central roast. Sounds God awful. Stargazing.com

565 days ago
141.

janet    

Yes, you friggin moron, you are a joke, a total laughing stock.


Who the is she trying to kid. She knew full well they were going to make fun of her and yet she had no problem accepting the contract for $200k.


Then she turns around and decides it made too much fun of her. That worked out well.


SM5 should cut nothing out Lohan hates. What's she going to do sue them.

565 days ago
142.

Vinsetta    

Was out most of the night. But catching up a bit. That dinner, was that recent? Lohan looks like she's in a gang and her eyes show she's blitzed and yes Maddy, Dina is too. What a couple of lushes. DINA is the worst. So the dinner drinks were on top of her daily intake of 2 gallons of vodka?

565 days ago
143.

bobjet47    

Her life isn't a joke. It's the reality. She is slipping and sliding as if she were on ice and once she will crash into the wall it's going to hurt

565 days ago
144.

who-me    

H8turds4Life or two years, whichever comes first.

565 days ago
145.

janet    

So much for Lohan boasting how she's such a good sport. Not even close. No way she doesn't know she's being laughed at and not with. Very big difference.

565 days ago
146.

timmey    

you guys really need to look at this its really freaking me out i think just beiber is sleeping with someone new... http://bit.ly/Um4NKo

565 days ago
147.

keilwerth29    

Her career is so over.

565 days ago
148.

MADISYN, LIAISON TO THE H8TURDS!!    

For the H8TURDS
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFLysouG86I

565 days ago
149.

johnnydanger    

Wow...that trailer is so lame. They actually think they can put this out and people will pay for it.

565 days ago
150.

janet    

Holy Christ, she's even getting trashed all over for this. Who needs to see any of this. God her career is still toast.


This is funny.


We start it off with them in bed making a sex tape, until she says, "Okay let's do this quick, I got a court hearing in the morning ... It's a driving mishap thing."

"Promise me you won't drive," he urges. "That's very sweet, worrying about me behind the wheel," she replies. "I'm worried about me. I'm a pedestrian," Sheen counters.

BAM! Oh, and it continues ...

As they get it on, Charlie keeps being thwarted - first by her sobriety monitor, then her house arrest anklet ... then a dog shock collar for orgasm help.

At another point, Lindsay SCREAMS in abject terror, but not because of any deranged killer ... she's just watching her own film Herbie: Fully Loaded.

In the trailer, this is already changed - to news coverage of her probation being revoked.

The jokes go on and on until at one point, Lindsay literally runs over Charlie with her car, tosses the keys to someone else and says, "You were driving."


Of course Lohan didn't like it because it's all so true. Lohan was all summed up in a cameo.

565 days ago
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