Tom Sizemore, who has admitted in court to using methamphetamine, says he's struggling to come out from the haze of drug addiction.
The 44-year-old actor was sentenced Thursday to three years' probation after tearfully confessing that he used meth last month. He could have faced 16 months in prison after violating his probation stemming from a conviction for methamphetamine possession.
Sizemore says in an interview on CNBC's "The Big Idea With Donny Deutsch" set to air Monday (10 p.m. EST), that on a Jan. 18 visit to his probation officer, he confessed his problem.
"I didn't want to tell her the truth initially," he says. "But I (thought), 'You know what? This is that moment where you're either starting to get it or not get it.' You know, it's called surrender."
Sizemore says he was wary of lying or hiding his meth use, and admitted to his probation officer that he "slipped," noting that "there's a difference between a slip and a relapse."
His probation was revoked in July after he admitted using a prosthetic device to fake a drug test and failing to be checked for drugs every three days. A judge reinstated probation in October after concluding Sizemore had begun to make "remarkable" progress in his battle with drugs.
Sizemore then tested positive for drugs Jan. 23.
"If you are, in fact, dealing with addiction, you have to understand one thing really, you're not ... who you really are," he tells Deutsch.
The actor, who appeared in "Saving Private Ryan" and "Black Hawk Down," was convicted in 2003 of domestic violence involving his ex-girlfriend, former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss. He is free on bail pending an appeal in that case.
Now having admitted his problem, Sizemore says he feels hopeful.
"Once you (acknowledge) it, there's a great relief, because now you started the first step in this horror show for mending."