"Lost" Diary -- Enter 77

3/8/2007 3:18 PM PST

"Lost" Diary -- Enter 77

Hey, it's Daniel from TMZ here, back with another edition of the "Lost" Diary.

A lot of the comments said I was too harsh on last week's episode. Now, I did find myself enjoying the episode as it unfolded, but when it was done, and I realized nothing had really happened, I was pissed off. "Lost" is (was?) the kind of show where you absolutely could not miss a single episode or else you wouldn't know what was going on the following week. You could have easily skipped the last two shows and been fine and that's just not what "Lost" is about. Thus, that's the reason I hated last week's show.

This week I am with the usual crew of Ari, Lauren and Matt. Lauren had a dream that tonight's episode of "Lost" would be good. So assuming Lauren can predict the future, we're in for a good show. Let's roll:

10:00 -- Sawyer is mulling around the beach and acting pissy. He calls the new guy "Zorro," and it has now officially reached the point where Sawyer's nickname-calling has jumped the shark for me.

10:01 -- Sayid, Locke, Kate and Rousseau are making their way through the woods, looking for the Others. Note to the producers: more Locke, please!

10:03 -- Old MacOther had a farm, E-I-E-O.

10:06 -- When Sawyer starts bitching about his stuff, I just can't stand it. Does he not have anything more pressing to worry about than his copy of Guns & Ammo? But when Sawyer said "Who are you?" to the new chick, that was great.

10:07 -- My lord, it's like a dream come true. Sun wants Sawyer to stop using nicknames if they win the ping pong match. I LOVE IT!!!

10:08 -- Sayid and the gang are planning on going into the farm. Rousseau has never seen the place. For someone who has been there for 18 years, she does not know the island well at all.

10:10 -- It's Sayid flashback time and he is a chef now. Apparently, he is a good chef because the guy from "Crash" is offering him a job at his restaurant.

10:11 -- Patchy (Mikhail) shot Sayid in the arm and has proclaimed himself the last living member of the Dharma Initiative. I wouldn't lead with that on your resume, pal.

10:16 -- Mikhail is giving us his life story and how he got involved with the Dharma Initiative. He's been on the island 11 years, his hatch is called The Flame, and his job is to "communicate with the outside world." Information is coming fast and furious.

10:18 -- All of the members of the Dharma Initiative died in a war against the Hostiles and the satellite dish doesn't work.

10:19 -- Back to the flashback, where Sayid is going to check out the restaurant, only something tells me Sammy isn't really looking for a chef.

10:21 -- Yeah, Sayid is in trouble. He tortured the wrong person, I am guessing.

10:22 -- Mikhail is quite the host, though something tells me Locke shouldn't be playing that chess game; think "War Games."

10:23 -- Locke couldn't possibly beat the unbeatable computer in chess ...

10:24 -- Sayid thinks Mikhail is lying and that he's not alone. This could get good.

10:27 -- Back on the beach, it's Sawyer vs. Hurley for ping pong supremacy. Ari says he wants to play Sawyer in ping pong; Lauren wants to play him in tonsil hockey. To each their own.

10:29 -- Most fans like Sayid more than I do, but I do enjoy it when he's interrogating someone -- especially when that someone doesn't know they are being interrogated. But I guess Mikhail caught on Sayid's questioning and opted for "ass whooping" over small talk.

10:31 -- Locke was a tad late to get in on the action, wasn't he?

10:33 -- When you're chained to the ground, and someone threatens to cut you up and put in a duffel bag, I don't care who you are, that's got to worry you a little bit.

10:34 -- Sayid did his best Columbo impression to figure out that Mikhail (if that is his name) wasn't alone because the stirrups on the horse outside were set for someone much shorter than Mikhail. Uh, just one more thing Mikhail ...

10:37 -- Sayid won't admit to torturing Sammy's wife. Not sure if I believe him or not.

10:39 -- Is Locke really going to leave Mikhail unguarded to keep playing computer chess?

10:40 -- Yeah he is.

10:41 -- So what do you think happens when Locke wins the chess match? Someone should tell him the whole place is wired with explosives.

10:42 -- "Manual override achieved ... For mainland communication, enter 3-8." Didn't work. "For sonar access, enter 5-6." Neither did that one. How about, "To be magically teleported off the island and straight to Las Vegas, press 7-2"?

10:43 -- And Mikhail woke up. Fun while it lasted. Is it weird that while all this is going on, I can't help but think, "What's going on with the ping pong match?"

10:44 -- Hey, how weird, someone got the drop on Kate. That almost never happens. By the way, I missed Ms. Klugh.

10:45 -- And now I'll miss her forever. RIP Ms. Klugh.

10:49 -- The ping pong match is over and Hurley whooped up on Sawyer. Kinda wanted to see the whooping take place. Oh well.

10:50 -- To kill or not to kill Mikhail, that is the question. He ain't going anywhere.

10:53 -- Boring story about feeling safe, Sayid cries, Sammy's wife forgives him. Blah, blah, blah.

10:57 -- Sayid tells Rousseau that he won't kill Mikhail. Torture is fine. Murder? Not so much.

10:59 -- Maybe Locke shouldn't have typed 7-7.

Alright, so what did we learn this week? The Others would rather be dead than captured ... They would rather the hatches be destroyed than used by someone else ... The Others and the Dharma workers had a war at some point ... Sayid found a map to the Others hideout.

I honestly don't know what to make of this episode. Everything we were told came from a guy who was lying about who he was, so who knows what's true and what isn't. I couldn't help but wonder, was Kelvin lying way back when when he told Desmond he was in Dharma?

Maybe I am being too hard again, but I give this episode a C+. We learned a couple of interesting things (I think), and seeing Sawyer humbled is always good.

But here is my problem with the last few weeks -- there were no TiVo Moments. When "Lost" is at its best, you have to grab the remote a couple of times an episode and either pause it so you can talk about what just happened, or rewind it because what you just saw HAD to be seen again. When Locke and Eko watched the Dharma training video, we immediately rewound it and watched it again. When Locke found the map on the back of the hatch door, we went back, paused it, and studied it as best we could. That is what a good episode of "Lost" does. I haven't done that once in the last three weeks.

So my question of the week is simple: I was completely befuddled about what to make out of this week's show and I need your help. Give me your grade. I am hoping someone can talk me into believing this week's show was better than I realize.