What's Wrong with Jessica?

4/3/2007 11:13 AM PDT

What's Wrong with Jessica?

Jessica Alba is the saddest clubgoer TMZ has ever seen -- looking more like part of a funeral procession last night than a partier at Winston's.

Walking somberly, her head down and clutching some non-Cash Warren arm candy, the "Fantastic Four" star flashed no smile to the flashing paparazzi, one of whom tried to elicit a smile by talking to her in a Mickey Mouse voice. Nice try, but no dice.

Also at Winston's last night was a grotesquely dressed Lindsay Lohan -- who got out the back door, sparing people in front from having to see her getup.

Jump to NYC, where "Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" star Alfonso Ribeiro found himself watching some very energetic fans do the "Carlton Dance" on the streets outside Butter. The club was also peopled by Jay-Z, Quentin Tarantino, sexy Victoria's Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio, and the girls from "The Hills" -- LC, Whitney & Audrina -- who partied with fellow MTV reality show star Ashley Parker Angel.

All this and more in our cross-country edition of Star Catcher.