Will Paris Turn Perp Walk Into Catwalk?

Paris Hilton wants to strut into jail with as much primp and circumstance as she can next week -- and she'll be writing a diary inside that she hopes to hawk for "a million dollars."

Rush & Molloy report that the jailbird-to-be has ordered up stylists to show up at her Hollywood Hills home at 9:00 AM on Monday, and she's going to try to pull a Naomi Campbell when she shows up to don her orange jumpsuit -- i.e., make sure she's very photo-ready. What's more, while she's serving time, a source says that she'll be penning a diary, which "will make a more dramatic read than Martha Stewart's."

And as for the big arrival, an "insider" says she may use her new kitten as a prop, handing it over to sister Nicky, tears streaming (violins playing, flashes popping, etc.), for maximum effect.

With Adam Corolla egging him on, Danny Bonaduce celebrated the end of his marriage last night by squeezing into teeny-tiny man-panties and showing off his stripper skills. Look out ladies!

The redheaded former "Partridge Family" member held his official "Divorce Party" at the Key Club in Hollywood, where the walking, waxed sack of muscles paraded around in his mankini bottom, along with a group of lingerie clad models. As one girl tried to walk off stage, Danny grabbed her by the back of her jeans, sat her down on a chair, and gyrated his firecrotch all over her poor, unsuspecting body for a solid 45 seconds. He then carried her offstage, where the two remained out of site for the next 20 minutes. Eww.

If only Britney Spears had celebrated her divorce like this!

TMZ has learned Debra Opri, the attorney who Larry Birkhead fired and who billed him for more than $600,000 for legal services, is holding a huge amount of Birkhead's money hostage.

Rewind to March, 2007. Larry Birkhead, who was then fighting to establish paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn, was approached by NBC Universal to appear on some TV shows for major money. Behind the scenes, Opri and her agent, Babette Perry (who works at the IMG Agency) were negotiating the deal for Birkhead. NBC Universal agreed to pay Larry $1,050,000. Birkhead subsequently appeared on a Bravo special. He also repeatedly appeared exclusively on "Access Hollywood" and "Today."

But something weird happened after the check was cut. Although the money was negotiated for Birkhead, the first installment -- $850,000 -- ended up in Debra Opri's client trust fund account. Sources say Opri refused to give Birkhead his money and that is precisely the reason Birkhead fired her.

So exactly how did Opri end up with Birkhead's moola?

Sources say agent Perry told NBC to send the monster check directly to Opri, who then promptly put in her trust fund account. Network sources say Birkhead was pissed and began making calls. We're told agent Perry has defended herself by saying Opri told her that Birkhead wanted the money in the client trust fund account, but that's not the case at all. TMZ knows Birkhead is outraged, claiming he never authorized Opri to funnel his money into her account. NBC sources say they were just following the agent's instructions.

We've learned Birkhead has consulted lawyers about suing Opri and others for allegedly pilfering his money.

Network sources say Opri released $200K to Birkhead but kept $650,000. Coincidentally, after Opri was fired, she submitted a bloated bill to Birkhead for almost the exact amount -- $620,492.84. The charges include fees for Opri's publicist, dinners costing thousands of dollars and her husband's laundry bill. Opri told Birkhead that when she sent him the bill that she would offer him a discount of $511,365.09, but only if he accepted immediately. He declined.

Agent Perry declined to comment, saying she was bound by "confidentially" issues. NBC Universal said "No comment." We contacted Opri's rep yesterday but got no reply. Birkhead had no comment.

That big Michael Jackson auction in Las Vegas didn't quite live up to expectations in its first day, netting only $500,000, even though auction organizers spent $5 million buying the stuff and $2 million just transporting it. The biggest draw among the 1,100 items in the auction so far was a black coat with an "M" crest that belonged to Michael himself, which someone paid $24,000 for (minus disinfection, presumably). Richard Altomare, chief exec of the company that put together the auction, says he wasn't disappointed by the haul. So far.

Jennifer Aniston may finally have a new man in her life that isn't "Vince Vaughn." The actress, spotted solo for much of the year, dined last weekend with what People describes as "a handsome mystery man," eating at Santa Monica beachfront hotel Shutters, and holding hands at the table for three hours over a bottle of Pellegrino. Of course, as TMZ showed you earlier this week, she showed up for BFF Courteney Cox and David Arquette's Memorial Day barbecue sans man. No word on who the guy is.