Rosie: Star and Trump Can Kiss My Rump

What a difference a TV show makes -- Rosie O'Donnell's two biggest nemeses of the last year, Donald Trump and Star Jones, are prepared to make nice with the acid-tongued talk titan, as long as she comes on their respective shows.

Trump said yesterday, as People reported, that he wants Ro for his new celebrity-infested "Apprentice" -- but

Rosie already shot back, saying, through her rep, "It will not happen in this lifetime or beyond." Star, as Us reports, said Rosie's "the kind of guest you want" on her new Court TV series, even though she called her "a former fatty," and accused Star of "selling bulls**t" for pooh-poohing her gastric bypass surgery.

No word yet on whether we'll be seeing Star v. Rosie anytime soon.

Britney Spears sucks, at least according to the Humane Society.

H.S. honchos are pissed off after reading that Spears went to a pet store in fancy Bel Air, Calif., and dropped three grand on a Yorkshire Terrier. The Humane Society has been dogging pet stores, claiming many of the pups come from puppy mills.

H.S. is also really upset that Spears spent only 30 minutes before sealing the deal -- "Choosing a dog is a major lifestyle decision that should not be taken lightly." Apparently, the Humane Society thinks Brit might pull a Paris -- as in getting bored (after all, she does have ADD) and jettisoning one pooch for another.

Everyone's favorite ball-carrier, Tara Reid, busted out a little beachfront football game with a couple of tight ends in Malibu yesterday.

Her arm strength was good, but she could definitely use a little help around mid-field.

Check out the highlights. Da na na, da na na.

It seems that Jon Lovitz got to do last week what many comics have wanted to do for years -- bash Andy Dick's face in. Lovitz tells Page Six that he confronted Dick at L.A.'s Laugh Factory after the cuckoo comic told him last year that he had put the "Phil Hartman hex" on him, referring to Hartman's murder by his wife Brynn in 1998, and suggesting that Lovitz might die soon. Lovitz expected an apology last Wednesday, but it wasn't forthcoming, so, says Jon, "I pushed him ... Then I pushed him again really hard. He's a disgusting human being." Adds Lovitz, "All the comedians are glad I did it because this guy is an ***hole."