Would Lindsay Survive in the Slammer?

7/25/2007 9:34 AM PDT

Would Lindsay Survive in the Slammer?

Lindsay Lohan is facing a ton of jail time after her second DUI arrest yesterday -- and now people "close" to Lindsay are worried that she might have a harder time behind bars than Paris Hilton did. And it won't be as easy for the Sheriff's Department either!

"Impeccable" sources tell FOX News that Lindsay "hates being alone" and "can't do" the time, which TMZ calculated yesterday could be up to six years -- a lot of time alone.

Meanwhile, the question on many people's minds is: Where are her parents? Dina tells The Insider (via People) that Lindsay's "in a safe place," but didn't say whether she had actually seen her, and dad Michael told TMZ yesterday that he was trying to convince his probation officer to let him see Lindsay, and that he tried calling her four times on the day of her arrest -- but as TMZ reported, it's not looking good for Michael.

Could K-Fed Get the Kids from Britney?

With all the buzzing about her grease-spattered appearance at an OK! magazine shoot, and a slew of eyebrow-raising photos involving her little boys, Britney Spears could be facing an uglier custody battle with Kevin Federline, reports Life & Style (via MSNBC). Now, reports the mag, the Fed-Ex wants sole custody of the kids.

Besides all the erratic, bizarre behaviors she exhibited at that mind-boggling photo session, Spears has been spotted driving Jayden around with his seat buckled the wrong way, and Jayden's been snapped "grabbing" his mom's smokes. "Kevin is convinced she's not fit to raise the kids," says an insider.

Paula's Tearful Axe from "Bratz"

Paula Abdul got the chop from the "Bratz" live-action flick -- because she was "a nightmare to deal with," says a source to Page Six. And it was all caught on tape on her surreality show, "Hey Paula." On this week's episode, the "American Idol" loopette gets a message from "Bratz" producers that she's no longer needed on the show. Abdul had taken credit for being choreographer, costume designer and exec producer, but "Bratz" folks claim she "was not ever really a part of the movie ... there was no way that was going to work."

Party Favors: Jay-Z Ditching Def Jam for Columbia? ... Beyonce Eats It in Orlando ... Starbucks Signs Joni

Jay-Z is in talks to take his rap moguldom from Island Def Jam to Columbia Records, reports Gatecrasher, and it's the arrival of Janet Jackson's man, Jermaine Dupri, who is prompting Jay's unhappy feet. ... Meanwhile, his boo, Beyonce Knowles, took a horrifying staircase spill during a concert in Orlando, but -- c'mon -- it's Beyonce! She got up and went right on with it, as Perez Hilton shows us. ... Joni Mitchell is the latest music legend to sign on with Starbucks' record label Hear Music, following in the footsteps of Paul McCartney.