Tone Loc is a Funky Cold Cheap Bastard

The only way Tone Loc can get a gig anymore is if a bar owner gets taken for a ride.

Two small Michigan bars were scammed out of a total of $1,400 last summer after a man posing as Loc's manager promised the rapper would play at their establishments. Why this con man didn't pose as the manager of a popular rapper -- one from the 21st century, perhaps? -- is a mystery.

Fast forward to this year, where Tone's real manager heard about the misfortune, and out of the kindness of his heart agreed that the rapper would play at both bars -- for Tone's regular fee.