1. Charlie Sheen tells TMZ ... "I'm married ... to baseball" ... and we now know which legendary MLB "spouses" he invited to party at his home on Friday ... and it's pretty damn impressive.

Sheen tells us ... in addition to flying in SF Giants pitcher Brian "The Beard" Wilson on his jet from Arizona to L.A. ... Charlie also imported Kenny Lofton, Todd Zeile, Eddie Murray, Lenny Dykstra and others.

We're told Pete Rose was supposed to show ... but got stuck somewhere and couldn't make it.

Charlie says he assembled the crew to screen his classic flick, "Major League" ... and he even brought in the writer and director, David S. Ward, to give an introduction in Charlie's private theater.

During the party, Charlie let some of the guys try on Babe Ruth's 1927 World Series ring ... which Sheen purchased at an auction more than a decade ago.

Charlie called it, "The ultimate VIP baseball excursion."

2. Don't break out the Manischewitz just yet ... TMZ has learned NBA superstar Amar'e Stoudemire has not found concrete evidence that proves he comes from Jewish lineage ... but he's definitely looking.

Stoudemire's agent tells us, "I know there are some reports that he is Jewish, but he is not. He thinks there may be some Jewish blood on his mother's side and he is researching it."

Amar'e -- who just signed a $100 million contract with the NY Knicks -- is currently vacationing in Israel, where he's learning Hebrew and "studying the religions there."

3. Swedish muscleman Dolph Lundgren became an action hero in the '80s after playing Drago in "Rocky IV." Guess what he looks like now!

4. "How I Met Your Mother" star Alyson Hannigan celebrated her 36th birthday yesterday ... by also celebrating daughter Satyana Marie's 1st!

Mom and daughter, who were both born on March 24, were out in Santa Monica on Wednesday with husband/father Alexis Denisof.

Our question: Does this mean they get two cakes?

5. Using the highly effective "strength in numbers" method, the brave women of the University of Mary Washington basketball team set their fears aside and forced a few smiles for this pic with alleged woman beater Chris Brown.

Chris spends a lot of time on, in or around court these days.

6. Looking like a bizarro extra from "Black Swan," eccentric weight loss guru Richard Simmons traded his trademark short-shorts for checkered tights and some frilly Lady Gaga-inspired outfit and accessories.

The 62-year-old was not born this way.

7. Teen pop prince Justin Bieber arrived in his homeland of Canada and was greeted by his 37-year-old father Jeremy on Thursday.

Even 16-year-olds need help with all their baggage.

8. 65-year-old Danny DeVito rocked his entire face off at a techno-trance concert at the Coachella music festival -- fist pumpin' like crazy in a sea of crazed fans ... and topless people.

It all went down during the Deadmau5 show -- where Danny fist pumped like he was on an episode of "Jersey Shore" ... and the guys at Newestra.com caught it all on camera.

Just watch the damn video already -- it's awesome.

9. You can now have a piece of the most awesome U.S. President ever! Abe Lincoln's 150-year-old hair is going up on the auction block.

Somehow, producers of a new TLC show called "Auctioneer$" got their hands on at least a portion of Lincoln's mane.

We're told "Auctioneer$" will also peddle a pair of pink slippers worn by Katherine Hepburn in the 1933 film "Little Women," a 2000-year-old coin used in the Holy Land (bottom left), and an antique Royal gift locket (bottom right) ... and that's just for starters.

Sold?

10. Our favorite TooFab foodie and celebrity chef, Candice Kumai, gave us some great tips for gettin' a new you in the New Year!

Kumai, who competed on Season One of "Top Chef" and has a new cookbook "Pretty Delicious" hittin' the shelves soon, gave us a sneak peek at some incredible recipes -- including a delicious update on the classic Caesar salad and the how-to for fun, flirty Mimosas. CLICK HERE to check 'em out!

11. Before the Miami Heat destroyed the Detroit Pistons last night, LeBron James got into the zone ... by partying with some teammates into the early hours on Wednesday morning.

Just hours before the Pistons game, LeBron was spotted leaving Miami's Lucky Strike bowling alley around 2 AM in a douche bag Orange Jeep.

'Bron spent the night hanging out with embattled boxer Floyd Mayweather.

Maybe he needed to pick up some tips before his super-highly anticipated return to Cleveland tonight ... where he's set to square off with the Cavs ... and thousands of angry fans.

12. Charlie Sheen wants both Brooke Mueller AND Denise Richards back in his life ... and he's willing to drop millions of dollars on real estate to make it happen ... TMZ has learned.

Charlie tells TMZ, he's currently got his real estate agent on the job -- hunting for two mansions in his exclusive Mulholland Estates neighborhood in L.A. ... one for Brooke and one for Denise.

According to Charlie, he's willing to front the costs of the two houses, plus whatever moving expenses the women incur -- all in the hopes that the four children he sired with his two exes might grow up closer to their daddy ... and get to know their half-siblings.

So far, no word on whether Brooke and Denise are actually on board with the moving plans.

13. To celebrate her 24th birthday, "Twilight" hottie Ashley Greene got real cozy with her younger boyfriend Joe Jonas, 21, at PURE in Vegas this weekend.

It may not be his birthday, but it looks like Joe's the one who got the best present.

14. Remember the little boy who lost his toy during the NBA Slam Dunk Contest this weekend??
Turns out ... the kid can MOVE!!!

Mohawk'd 10-year-old Bailey Munoz (aka Future Funk) was hanging with his pal Miles Brown backstage after the celeb All-Star game ... where the lil' breakdancers busted out some CRAZY moves!