In a blistering hearing, Judge Stephanie Sautner revoked Lindsay Lohan's probation, had her cuffed and set a hearing for November 2, when Lindsay could end up getting as much as a year-and-a-half in jail.

Judge Sautner said Lindsay Lohan was completely responsible for being thrown out of the Downtown Women's Center, where the judge told her she must complete probation.

The judge concluded Lindsay violated her probation, scoffing time after time, incredulously reading from the Probation Report -- the section where Lindsay told the Probation officer she didn't find the Women's Center "fulfilling."

TMZ broke the story ... Lindsay got kicked out of the Women's Center after being a no-show 9 times.

The Judge also doubted Lindsay attended sessions with her shrink once a week, as the Judge required.

The judge dismissed Shawn Holley's argument that Lindsay had to go abroad to work -- where she was seen partying on several occasions -- and that's why she missed a number of community service appointments, saying, "She's supposed to be an actress, from what I hear."

Judge Sautner recalled all the screw ups Lindsay has had in her court cases, reminding Holley that "Probation is a Gift."

As we reported, Lindsay's bail bondsman appeared in court and will be bailing her out shortly.

The judge could barely contain her contempt for the Probation Dept., which gave Lindsay a glowing report. Judge Sautner said the Probation Dept. had no authority to send Lindsay to the Red Cross to do her community service and said Lindsay would not get credit for the time she served there.

Before Lindsay was taken away in cuffs, the judge said Lindsay must complete 16 hours at the morgue before the November 2 hearing.

Although Lindsay could get sentenced to nearly a year and a half in jail, a frustrated Judge Sautner noted new laws and overcrowding would make such a sentence unlikely.

Lindsay Lohan has a penis -- at least according to her booking documents from today's court appearance.

According to the docs -- which list Lindsay as a male -- she/he also weighs 116 pounds.

Lindsay Lohan is telling friends ... she understands why Judge Stephanie Sautner threw the book at her today -- and to prove her renewed commitment to community service, Lindsay plans to put in overtime at the morgue.

Sources close to Lindsay tell TMZ, she gets why Judge Sautner was pissed -- admitting she didn't follow Sautner's previous instructions to the T.

We're told Lindsay has internalized Sautner's admonitions -- and is taking the entire experience today as one big warning that she needs to get her act together, stat.

As a result, we're told Lindsay will be visiting the morgue tomorrow to get started on her community service. In fact, Lindsay says she's so serious about impressing the judge ... we're told she has promised to go to the morgue every day between now and her next hearing on November 2.

We're told Lindsay gets the message -- and doesn't harbor any bad feelings toward Sautner for taking a hard line.

Sources tell us, when Lindsay faces Sautner again next month, she'll argue she doesn't deserve jail time.

Lindsay Lohan will see blood and guts when she performs her service at the L.A. County Morgue ... a source in the Coroner's Office tells TMZ.

We're told Lindsay will be cleaning tables where the autopsies are performed, and various body parts and fluids often remain for disposal after the body is removed.

Lindsay will also be sweeping floors, cleaning toilets, washing windows and picking up trash.

We're told she will not be handling any of the bodies.

Lindsay must do 16 hours at the morgue before her next appearance in court on November 2.

TMZ has obtained a copy of Lindsay Lohan's probation report, which is glowing -- as Judge Sautner said.

In sharp contrast to the judge's comments this morning, the report says that Lindsay's psychotherapist stated, "The defendant is doing really well, she is making changes, and is trying to become more disciplined in her actions."

The report says Lindsay attends therapy every Tuesday. The judge clearly doubted that in court today, noting that Lindsay spent weeks overseas. The judge made it clear ... in the November 2 hearing, she is going to ask the Probation Dept. to prove Lindsay really did attend every therapy session ... and if the Probation Dept. is fibbing, get ready for an explosion.

The report says, "The therapist believes that the defendant has been developing tools to help discipline herself and she is really proud of her accomplishments."

The therapist supposedly told Lindsay's probation officer Lindsay was "turning her life around." You could have fooled the judge.

Lindsay Lohan just sauntered into Judge Sautner's court ... projecting all kinds of innocence in an all-white outfit.

TMZ has learned ... Lindsay's dress is Fendi. She's also rockin' Guiseppe Zanotti shoes ... with a Chanel purse.

Who needs Milan ... when you have downtown L.A.??

As if Lindsay Lohan doesn't have enough on her plate this morning -- the actress was just served with a fat lawsuit in court ... for allegedly attacking a Betty Ford staffer during her rehab stint last year.

As TMZ first reported, Dawn Holland -- who now goes by Dawn Bradley -- filed the lawsuit in July, claiming Lindsay grabbed her wrist and twisted it when she tried to give the actress a breathalyzer last December.

Dawn claims Lindsay arrived back at the Betty Ford Center after sneaking off to go boozing -- and when she tried to administer the breathalyzer, Lindsay grabbed her right wrist and began "twisting and pulling it for 8-10 seconds."

Dawn wants at least a million dollars -- claiming she suffered "great mental, physical and nervous pain and suffering" from the alleged assault.

And the day's just getting started ...

Lindsay Lohan arrived at the Los Angeles courthouse this morning with her platinum blond hair pulled back and dressed in all-white.

While her Fendi dress was fantastic, her make-up was definitely not.

Sloppily applied brown blush made her cheeks appear bruised, and dark brows and smokey eyeshadow aged her dramatically. Keep in mind, Lindsay is only 25!