TMZ TV

Snooki's new "Jersey Shore" nemesis -- The Unit -- is a major douchebag, but don't take our word for it ... we got Mr. Unit to own up to his douchery all by himself. You're welcome, Snooks.

UFC welterweight champ George St-Pierre is afraid of no man -- but would he ever have the balls to square up with a chimp? Those cute, cuddly ... face-mangling, genital-eating creatures?

Comparing Justin Bieber to Frank Sinatra?! Blasphemy? Maybe not, because someone in the newsroom did it -- and lighting did NOT strike. Yet.

Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are getting one helluva welcome party in Dallas -- complete with a hallucinogenic booze. Yes, Khloe ... the Mavericks' mascot is dancing on your shoulder.

Zooey Deschanel is breaking a major stereotype -- not the hipster one, she's definitely that -- but the one about celebrities blowing all their cash. Time to play ... How Does Zooey Save Her Millions?

Jeremy Renner learned the hard way ... when bar-hopping in Thailand look out for dudes swinging homemade battle axes! Happy hour just got real.

TMZ obtained exclusive video of ... OPRAH!!! Oh, wait ... it's some lady in Florida who sorta looks like her -- minus a billion or so pieces of green paper. Still pretty awesome!

Great news! Legendary television salesman "Crazy Gideon" is back, and still packing so much crazy ... he inspired a brand new poorly dressed, loudmouth pitchman.

Ryan Gosling is training like an MMA fighter ... an insanely attractive MMA fighter ... an MMA fighter who just earned his very first THEME SONG!!!

One of the chicks on VH1's "Love and Hip Hop" claims it's not the weave-pulling, glass-throwing cat fights that are making her look bad ... IT'S THE EDITING!!!

World champion eater Patrick "Deep Dish" Bertoletti failed to start a new Jewish tradition when he downed two FULL bottles of Manischewitz in less than a minute -- but he did manage to inspire a classic new Hanukkah(ish) song!

R&B singer Omarion must have played football in his past -- 'cause dude threw a Heisman pose at a chick who was trying to get in his ride outside a club. Aah ... the sweet, sweet smell of rejection.