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A Whale of a Bear

12/26/2006 1:30 PM PST BY TMZ STAFF

Last week, we gave you taut-tummied, bouncy-bosomed, bethonged and dethroned beauty queens in all their titillating glory. Today, we give you ... a beached Greasy Bear.

Oily heir Brandon Davis took to the sands of Maui on Christmas Eve, flopping down on a beach chair with a constant stream of cigarettes. (Nothing promotes health like baking in the sun while sucking on smokes.) We're not sure if that's a bathing suit or an oil slick.

The night before, Davis played with pal Paris Hilton before the lodging heiress hopped a plane for Australia, where she'll be hosting a New Year's Eve bash.

44 COMMENTS

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1.

actionnews9!    

He even has nicotine stains on his feet! For shame, Greasy Bear.

2828 days ago
2.

weride88    

Friggin' Disgusting!

2828 days ago
3.

blah blah blah    

OMG I just puked from the ugliest site of a beached whale I have ever seen in my life time

2828 days ago
4.

Some dude    

While many may know about the windfall of money that will one day befall Brandon due to him and company from an oil fortune, what many do not know is that Brandon, and his brother were both actually grown in a laboratory.

Using the latest in genetic testing and splicing; geneticists were able to splice an oil molecule with a strand of DNA. It took many attempts mind you, and as a result, there were numerous failures prior to Brandon and brother. It would certainly be a stretch to call them success’ however the fact that the oil molecules and human DNA were able to remain cohesive was a big step.

In many ways it is almost inappropriate to call him “greasy” for one to be more accurate they would need to refer to him as just “grease” or as he is referred too in generic circles “Brandoil”

2828 days ago
5.

USHER LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER    

I just threw up a little in my mouth....gross.....hahahahh

2828 days ago
6.

CHARGERS TILL THE END    

ewwwww GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

2828 days ago
7.

tony w.    

Dammit TMZ! I was eating!!!!!!!!

2828 days ago
8.

Anna Hagy    

Fat bastard....bet his cig. butts are all over the beach
Someone needs to smack him

2828 days ago
9.

C.D.    

How can someone so rich not afford to look better???

2828 days ago
10.

Brother Harold, S.J.    

Other than being the spoiled brat of a millionaire, does this pig do anything to benefit humanity? If not, I'd suggest his leaving it.

2828 days ago
11.

Rachel    

excuse me while i go barf......

2828 days ago
12.

stoopit    

Another siting of Elvis, way to go TMZ, you're really outdoing yourselves these days.

2828 days ago
13.

Psychic Clara    

It is the first picture of him that I see sunbathing at the beach.

Psychic Clara.

2828 days ago
14.

Scott    

Alright, I hate to say it, but personally I find him sexy -- hes not really that heavy and has beautiful eyes and lips. A little shampoo couldnt hurt tho . . .

2828 days ago
15.

Jay    

He could be Donald Trumps offspring.

2828 days ago
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