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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a TMZ.com article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on TMZ.com, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis
143 COMMENTS

No Avatar
31.

Click here to be Paris Hilton!    

Be Paris Hilton today!

2689 days ago
32.

Tangie    

I don't believe this whoremonger wrote this. He's facing charges for sex with minors. He made his fortune exploiting drunk girls, and gee, didn't pay taxes! He supposedly cried like his buddy Paris. He wouldn't have the guts to write TMZ. He's a flunkie if I ever saw one.

2689 days ago
33.

Kate    

Let's put aside the celebrity aspect for a moment. It's outrageous the hideous hatred and vitriolic hypocrisy being spewed repeatedly on this issue and against Hilton by those who do in fact resent her wealth, celebrity status and yes, even her race. Resentment and bitterness, plain and simple; so-called justice doesn't have anything to do with this situation, especially since the current mob of hyenas and jackals are the same ones who thought OJ was innocent, or who could care less that someone like Brandy kills an innocent women with her car; Brandy is walking the streets, free; so where is all of the sanctimonious moral outrage on this? And now the complaining idiots are ridiculing everything and anything Hilton states, including mockery of her relationship with God. Who do these judmental sanctimonious hypocrites think they are anyway and where do they get off doing so? The judge went after Hilton because he was ticked off at what the sheriff did and the judge got his pound of flesh by singling out Hilton and holding her to a much higher standard than others he's sentenced for essentially the same or worse. Relative soliatry confirnement? Being handcuffed? The hyenas and jackals should reassess their selectivity and go after all criminals then who get out of jail for serving little to no time of their sentences all over the US, regardless of their race, social class or economic level. To be selective is to be discriminatory, immature, moronic and stupid. And the judge should be kicked off of the bench for malfeasance. He wasn't fair and impartial; he went after Hilton because of her wealth and celebrity standing and decided to humiliate her and make an example of her and forcing a stiffer sentence given the misdemeanor non-violent probation violation. The judge is unfit to carry out his responsibilities because he uses his base emotions when it comes to giving out sentences and not impartiality as he is mandated to by the oath he took.

2689 days ago
34.

whatagay    

IDIOT! You aren't even on the same page as Paris! YOU ARE - AND SHOULD BE A CON!
How about releasing the video of you getting it in the ass w/a vibrator?

I'm sure you would welcome jailtime and be some big guy's little bitch!!!

You should lay low and shut yr yapper!

2689 days ago
35.

DJ MARCUS    

BOO HOO PARIS NEED A LITTLE TIME ALONE.. OH YA GOD DID NOT GIVE HER A SECOND CHANCE. THE JUDGE ODERED A TMIE OUT ...LOL

PARIS YOU SAID YOU'D STOP ACTING DUM.. MAYBE YOUR NOT ACTING AFTERALL...

2689 days ago
36.

Tangie    

Oh shut up Nathan, Brandy wasn't drunk, she is not even in the same league as PH. People don't hate her cuz their jealous-hell, anybody can spread their legs and make a movie! Most choose not to. She's hated cuz she's just a nasty human being!

2689 days ago
37.

Whatareyoudoing?    

Your "celebrity" status is a joke. When you are finally finished being a political prisoner, you will be on the "D" List. Oh yeah, and you will be a convicted felon. This isn't legal manuvering, Joe, this is your life. Check yourself. Word.

2689 days ago
38.

Jessgoboom    

I am sorry, I don't believe you are articulate enough to write this Mr. Francis. You have made your millions by taking pictures of girls' boobs - Princeton Review crash course My ASS... I mean my boobs.

2689 days ago
39.

Mel    

Barbara Walters states that Hilton did not complain and she did not whine. Sounds like whining to me.

"I feel my purpose in life is to be where I am, HOWEVER usually with a situation like mine the person serves 10% of their time. I have already served 30% of my time and I hope that if there is overcrowding in jail I would be let out before someone with a much more serious crime."

I agree that DUI’s are usually released after serving only 10% of their time. That’s a crime in itself but what can you do when there is overcrowding in jail. But how much more are they expected to serve when they violate their probation twice, show up late for court, do not enroll in the drug program she was required to take. She thumbed her nose at the process and because of that she should be required to serve more that 10% of her time and DESERVEDLY so.

2689 days ago
40.

anonymous    

It is trashy!!

2689 days ago
41.

Kat    

Who cares what this pig has to say? I hope he rots in jail!

2689 days ago
42.

appauled by the stalkarazzi    

Joe Francis, the degenerate low life that found fame and fortune by exploiting young naïve girls to do soft porn in front of the camera at spring break. And, then started using spring break drinking parties to get the underage girls to be even more exhibitionist. But, was such a stupid, greedy pig he didn’t even check for valid identification before serving alcoholic to minors and then taping them drunk and doing soft porn for your camera.

A match in heaven between you and Paris…..the 2 stupid soft porn millionaires.
I’m sure the Hilton’s will approve for Paris’s chances of marrying into a good and decent socialite family are shot. No one with good breeding wants Paris to be part of the gene pool….not with her 9th grade uneducated @ss and public displays of stupidity

Pretty much like you Joe Francis. No woman with class and respect of herself would want within a million miles of your degrading empire that exploits women.

2689 days ago
43.

Enough Already!    

This guy is a tool.............no wonder ........birds of a feather flock together........paris, lindsay, nicole, that fatboy friend greaseybear.........bunch of losers getting away with way too much for way too long......open up and say awwwwww aholes! Its time you all took your lumps

2689 days ago
44.

MSHB    

He is so funny isn't he? No wonder his prestigious job is to get (teen) girls to get naked in front of a camera! I wonder how miserable that job is, and I pity him for not even being able to do that job right! Oh my, isn't it amazing how he gets publicity even when in jail just like the very religious, good girl of Paris Hilton. But now if someone could please tell me HOW IN THE FREAKING WORLD DID WE WASTED OUR TIME READING THIS CRAP WRITTEN BY AN ASSHOLE, AND CLEARLY HIS 1 OUNCE MIND HAS BEEN DESTROYED COMPLETELY BY HIS STAY IN JAIL! EAT CRAP YOU FRANCIS GUY! (can "francis" be any more gay?)

2689 days ago
45.

Shirley    

God is real. Paris knows this as well as other believers. We do not hate her or wish her any ill will. I feel sorry for Fancis. All sex offenders are considered bottom feeders in prison. That poor man will be abused in every way every day while incarcerated. God have mercy on his soul for he is lost. Paris is not.

2689 days ago
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