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Francis to Paris: Et Tu Caesar

6/11/2007 2:07 PM PDT BY TMZ STAFF

TMZ received the following letter from "Girls Gone Wild" creator Joe Francis. He is currently incarcerated in Nevada:
Joe Francis and Paris Hilton booking photos
June 10, 2007

RE: "American I-Cons"

Dear TMZ,

I returned to my cell the other day after a leisurely walk through the Washoe County Detention Center yard and received a message from Deputy Keast, the Public Information Officer, that you had called. To be honest, I was hoping that my penpal, Candy Spelling, had written me again, but to my dismay I was told that you just wanted to know how I felt about Paris being released from jail early. I was then handed a TMZ.com article titled "American I-Cons". I just thought since I seem to have some extra time on my hands these days that I would like to take a moment to set the record straight.

The "American I-Cons" title is a very clever play on words, but unlike in Paris's current situation, the title does not apply to me. I am not in jail because I have been CONvicted of a crime, but am merely awaiting a chance to vindicate myself.

Paris's early release from jail did not surprise me, nor unfortunately, did her return to jail a day later. My heart goes out to Paris, not only because I consider her a friend, but because I have experienced first hand that incarceration is not set up for high-profile people. In my experience to date, when jail personnel are told to give no special treatment to an individual because of who they are, it normally results in them getting far worse treatment. I must however tell you that this has not been my experience at the Washoe County Detention Center, where my treatment has been fair and where the staff is very considerate. However, the stark reality that I've encountered in the five previous facilities I've been in is that celebrities are segregated from other inmates, and it can be quite a lonely existence with no human contact. It seems as though Paris is seeing this first hand now that she's been sent back to jail to serve her original 45 day sentence. If her name was Jane Doe and everything else in the case remained unchanged, she would never have served a day in jail. As Los Angeles County Sheriff Baca said on Friday: "The special treatment appears to be her celebrity status. She got more time in jail." I empathize with Paris, because I believe I too would not still be in jail were it not for my "high profile status."

Your story also outlined 3 other things: living conditions, food, and free time.

When you discussed my living quarters, you brought up the fact that I was in my own cell until I passed my tuberculosis test. Well, I studied hard and took a Princeton Review crash course and passed it with flying colors. I also passed my HIV test and my hepatitis test as well, so feel free to post the rest of my confidential medical history on TMZ.com, as you and others have done on in the past. I wouldn't want your readers to be getting any incomplete information.

My living arrangements are more than adequate. My cell is actually nicer than my USC dorm room. Yes, it doesn't have cable, but it doesn't have the cockroaches either.

When you discussed food, you mentioned that I was eating "catfood sandwiches, a mix of ground turkey mixed with mayo, and franks n' beans." Well, those two delectable dishes, among others, are offered free of charge to all inmates, but the WCDC also offers inmates the option to order from a local restaurant - "The Burger Barn." My diet actually consists of mostly chicken-Caesar salads with crisp romaine lettuce and half-dressing (my trainer would be proud) usually with a Diet Coke. If I really want to splurge, I may order a Powerbar or two for dessert.

This "free time" thing took me by surprise. I would love to know who gave you the information that I'm out of my cell 8 hours a day. It's probably more like half that. It is during this time that I have the fortunate privilege of meeting new "friends" such as car thieves, drug dealers and murderers. It should make for an interesting night at HYDE when the "gang" and I get back together for a reunion.

Feel free to post a mugshot or two (this one is by far the best). Blue is my color over bright orange for sure, but please remember one thing: In this country anyone who stands accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty, even if they are a celebrity. I urge that there be no rush to judgment, because you may be wrong. I am still an innocent man standing accused, stuck in jail not because I've been CONvicted of a crime, but rather due to a legal quagmire. I have faced far worse things in the past and I am confident that I will prevail again.

Your friend,
Joe Francis
143 COMMENTS

No Avatar
61.

JM    

To Nathan:

Let's not FORGET the original charge against Ms. Hilton: DUI. Nothing to do with her celebrity status when she committed that act but the fact she thumbed her no$e at all and felt she was above it. Ms. Hilton should send the Judge a thank you card. Thanking him for saving her life and quite possibly another motorist(s) and/or pedestrian(s). About time that someone instilled some "common" sense into her head, because surely her enabling parents have done a piss poor job so far.

2689 days ago
62.

Me    

In response to "C'mon fool":

It sounds to me as if you suffer from a case of "Poor me, I'm not rich and famous." It also sounds like you wish for Paris and Joe to suffer MORE for what they have done (or may not have done in Joe's case). Trust me, I do agree that they deserve the same treatment as the rest of us. However, your implied notion that their fame is what kept them from being "slammed to the ground, handcuffed and taken away half dressed [or] naked..." etc. sounds unrealistic to me. Do you know this first hand? Has this happened to you? If so that is unfortunate, but c'mon fool -- that doesn't mean anyone else should be treated like that.

Oh, and how do you know Paris is withdrawing from drugs? Do you know her?

It would be beneficial for your bruised ego if you would simply get over YOUR condition: a good old-fashioned case of jealousy.

Regards,

2689 days ago
63.

Somebody , shoot it! Quick!    

I do not buy or support Francis' s product His Girls Gone...empire. WHY IS HE IN JAIL
Tax evasion? If one is caught for that ,you pay!!!! You pay. Jail, maybe if it is a way to get you for something else..like porn. Well, if he had girls 18 and that particular states age is 21 ,he broke the law. HOWEVER, child pedofiles , get a slap on the wrist and get backin society, IN OUR NEIGHBORHOODS if theyget caught and are convicted. We love putting bandaids on problems. Jailing Joe Francis is punishing himand staopping child sex for profit and pedofiles. WRONG!!! Joe asks girls, women, college aged women, to strip and have sex on camera with each other . he sells the dvds and makes millions. He tells them, stupid women, tha ttheywill recieve no pay for their services. That is okay with them for as long as they are on dvd doing the nasty. they even outdue each other and get wilder with each dvd.
I blame Joe for being STUPID becaus ehe should make sure that each woman is 21 and over. Copy lic. Signature. out clause. he is free. Where were his business lawyers?

Paris is getting for worst a sentence than other other probation violater in her situation.. Bandaid. As if locking her up for 45 days is going to stop, or even curve drunk drivers. She violated probation due to her DUI. She was not drunk driving.

GET REAL PEOPLE!!!

2689 days ago
64.

Leonard    

Good luck Joe in beating the federal rap for tax evasion associated with money laundering via illegal offshore accounts. The feds have already been investigating your case for possibly several years before you even knew that they were on to you + prior to unsealing the Federal Grand Jury indictment resulting in your arrest. The government has OVER an 98% conviction rate on these type of white collar cases, mostly from plea agreements by defendants as opposed to having to proceed to trial + face a jury (you get a two point reduction for a plea deal since the government doesn't have to incur the cost of preparing for trial). Joe, I don't know what your attorneys are telling you, but your legal "issues" back in Florida ain't nothing. Oh, + since the dollor amount alleged is excessive (as in $20M) the federal Guidelines require that substantial "enhancements' be applied to your sentence resulting in a longer period of incarceration. Another thing Joe, it looks like your prior criminal history is becoming more + more significant by the day when considering your problems in both Florida + California, just hope that you are a 'Catagoty I' or the Court (based on the Guidelines) will impose an ever longer period in custody. Although the sentencing judge has more discretion in sentencing than a few years ago, expect your new home to be in the range of several years in a minimum security federal correctional facility (FPC). Keep your chin up Joe, it really isn't that bad, instances of inmate-to-imate sexual assault in federal minimum facilities are extremely rare. Since you have decided to remain in the custody of the U.S. Marshals in order to avoid being extradited on the Florida state charges, you will be afforded, under the Federal Rules of Criminal Procedure, the opportunity of a 'speedy trial' which should, at most, be only a few months after your arraignment. Bon-Voyage Joe Francis!

2689 days ago
65.

Anonymous    

Too funny!

At least Joe Francis can write a letter.

2689 days ago
66.

crct07    

BOTH OF U MAKE ME COMPLETELY ILL!!! LIKE THE ONE PERSON WROTE, NEITHER OF U DESERVE THE TITLES "CELEBRITY STATUS"!! WTF HAVE EITHER OF U REALLY DONE IN LIFE????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

EXACTLY...................................F**K U!!! HOPEFULLY.....THEY'LL BE MORE SO-CALLED "CELEBRITIES" SOON TO JOIN U & "PECKER HILTON", CAUSE THEY'RE MANY MORE OF U THAT'S LOST UR DAMNED MINDS!!! GOOD "ROTTEN" 2 THE BOTH OF U!!!

2689 days ago
67.

Jayne    

Paris is pathetic, she is just looking for attention as always, the minute she is out it will be back to drugs, drinking and driving. i guess her parents didn't teach her anything. She doesn't care about anyone but "PARIS", GOD, our troops, repent, she doesn't know the first thing about any of it. I am sick of seeing that face and hearing about her woes.She is 26yrs. old, give her another 4 and she will be fighting the younger ones coming up to take her place. Such a shallow, selfish human being. Poor paris , I don't think so, brought it on yourself idiot. Barbara Walters should be ashamed to even print anything she said. Walters is scraping the bottom with Rosie and Paris.

2689 days ago
68.

judy    

Sick of hearing about both of these spoiled rich kids. If you'd quit posting stuff about them they'd be heart broken and I'd be thrilled NOT to hear about them.

2689 days ago
69.

kt    

Both of these assholes are receiving better treatment at their jail facilities compared to what our Men and Women's living conditions are like over in Afghanistan, Iraq etc. They should be grateful for a cool room, bed to sleep in, toilet to piss in and 3 meals a day. YOU ARE PATHETIC. What have you done for society? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Yet you cry and complain about being treated unfairly. You want to know what is unfair? Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Coast Guardsmen risking their lives on a daily basis and getting next to nothing for it.

Shut your mouth's, do your time.

2689 days ago
70.

Mikey    

f**k you whiner - and your little dog paris too!

2689 days ago
71.

Michelle    

This guy sounds like he's into mind games. Good thing--he's going to need it for all the time he will be behind bars. He is in major denial.

2689 days ago
72.

alicia    

He has got to be kidding us. He made his fortunes by taking advantage of drunk girls that wanted their 15 minutes, some of them underage. He needs to get his head checked, and join us all in the little land that I like to call reality. How is he helping to make the world a better place? Those two are the largest examples of why other countries hate us.

2689 days ago
73.

katherine    

blah, blah, blah....this player only THINKS he has great game! it just shows how many unintelligent people he encounters on a daily basis.

2689 days ago
74.

bean1217    

why do you keep talking to that douchebag, tmz?! you're just giving him a platform to vent his stupidity. let him rot in jail with the rest of the child molesters!

2689 days ago
75.

Megan    

I have to give Joe props for being funny. He has a very wry sense of humor about the whole thing. He may be morally bankrupt, but he is certainly eloquent.

2689 days ago
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